“YOU’RE DYSLEXIC and BRAIN DAMAGED”

How these words shaped my life

My childhood memories are fragmented, there’s a lot I blotted out. I remember being laughed at. “Look, Lawson’s in the Retard’s class.” I remember that quite clearly.

My parents were told by the Doctors that I was “Brain Damaged” and that I would never be able to have a normal life. This was not true of course, but my parents took it to heart.

I spent years in Special Ed. I finally learned to read, and when I did, I read at a college level before I entered High School; but I never could understand basic math. To this day, I can’t make change, and my checkbook is always a mess.

To make things worse, I’m a big guy, and I was big for my age. A steady diet of teasing and bullying affected my self-esteem, what little I had. Being able to read, and having high reading comprehension saved me.

I finally worked my way out of Special Ed. In middle school, I was promoted from the 7th to 8th Grade in the middle of the year, but I still didn’t know the multiplication tables, or how to make change.

I managed to Graduate, still not able to deal with numbers. My dad was a career Airforce. I graduated from an Airbase in Japan. Six months after I graduated, I flew back to the states to stay with relatives, with dreams of finding a job and making it on my own.

I couldn’t keep a job; I just couldn’t learn what I needed to learn fast enough. I would get fired or quit before the inevitable happened, just to avoid the pain and embarrassment.

My parents were well-meaning, they loved me with all their hearts, but they didn’t help. “You can’t help it, you’re Brain Damaged,” “With your Dyslexia, there are just some things you can’t do.” They repeated my whole adult life.

I felt sorry for myself, I began to believe what everyone was telling me. When after another firing, my parents sat me down and told me to get a security guard job; because “anyone can be a security guard.”

I was in that line of work for over twenty years. What made things worse, I measured myself against other adult Dyslexics, people I had met, and politicians and celebrities who were Dyslexic.

I never understood why they succeeded, but I didn’t, and I still don’t understand. I’m not entirely at peace, but I’m better than I was. I’m on Disability now, so I never have to worry about being fired again.

I have a wife who loves me, and I have the time to pursue my life-long dream of being a writer. I can finally say, after sixty years of living, that life is good.

TAKEAWAYS:

1. Words hurt, so build up your children, believing in themselves will carry them a long way.

2. Encourage your kids, help them find their path and what they were born to do when they’re young.

3. Without Special Education, I wouldn’t be here typing this. Encourage your State and Local Governments to fully fund Special Education and help for Dyslexic kids.

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