You’re Already A Superhero: Intentional Design Is Your Power
The Ultimate Guide To Upgrade Your Life in 7 Steps
· Step 1: The definitive destination
· Step 2: Chip away at what’s not David
· Step 3: Transition to a state of knowing
∘ #1 State of need
∘ #2 State of desire
∘ #3 State of possession
· Step 4: Make the request
· Step 5: Build systems
· Step 6: Put first things first
· Step 7: Deadlines
· Final thoughtsAll behavior is driven by goals oriented in the future.
Going to the toilet, grabbing a snack, and going for a pee.
It’s all done to fulfill a desired objective.
Sometimes the motivation can be based on things you don’t want; this is why so many work jobs they hate — they don’t want to be homeless.
But these behaviors don’t do much to tell us apart from animals. They have goals too.
What truly makes the difference is our ability to leverage complex reasoning, language, problem-solving, and introspection to assess our thoughts, determine what we want in the future, and then design our behavior to move closer toward that thing.
In other words —
The more intentional you get about your goals and designing your behaviors to achieve them, the less of an animal you are.
Even typing that felt rude.
But it’s the reality…
The power you have over every other species on the planet is to think about a future and reverse engineer the behaviors to get you there.
In this 7-step guide, I’ll share with you the exact blueprint to do it.
Step 1: The definitive destination
You’ll never have clarity without a destination.
There must be something you’re moving towards.
This is best demonstrated in the classic children’s tale, Alice in Wonderland…
Alice is making her way through the woods when she bumps into the cheshire cat.
She seizes the opportunity to ask the cat which way she ought to go.
The cat responds with the most obvious answer, “That depends on where you wanna get to…”
Alice then exclaims that it doesn’t matter where she wants to get to before the cat interrupts —
“Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go.”
If you don’t have a clearly defined goal you wish to arrive at, then whatever decisions you make don’t matter — they’ll all be as unfilling as each other.
The workaround is to engage in short-sighted endeavors geared towards immediate gratification (e.g., scrolling through social media, drugs, casual sex) to get the sense of reward you usually get for charting the hard path toward a desired end.
And this makes sense —
You cannot prioritize when you don’t know where you’re going.
So doing everything feels like you’re achieving nothing — you need a way to gratify yourself in the same way achievement would.
But the solution is pretty simple...
Lift your gaze a little further than your current situation and start thinking further out.
Ask yourself, “What do I want in my life in the next 5–10 years?”
Let your mind run wild.
… But be careful to not fall into the trap of focusing too hard on what you want to do.
I said this to the members of my weekly Sunday live sessions (drop a comment if you wanna join) —
It’s not about what you wanna do or be, it’s about what you want.
Figuring out what you want to do is hard to articulate cos the activity may not exist right now.
Just think about it…
How on earth would you have articulated you wanted to be an influencer 10 or so years ago?
It’s much easier to articulate what you want cos that determines what you do.
Baked into your wants is what Simon Sinek calls your “why.”
For example, one of my coaching clients wants to inspire other women to embrace their natural look cos she believes filters have a major role to play in why many women suffer from low self-esteem and confidence.
Articulating what she wants this way opens the door to several avenues for her to achieve her goal (e.g., influencer, model, musician, lawyer, etc).
All she has to do is pick the one that resonates most with who she is as a person.
Step 2: Chip away at what’s not David
Your life is basically an optimization problem.
I often use the analogy of chipping away at the rock that doesn’t represent David to emphasize this — see here.
The long and short of it is that after completing the David sculpture, Michaelangelo was often asked how he did it and he’s alleged to of replied, “It’s easy. You just chip away the stone that doesn’t look like David.”
Applied to you, this means —
Once you’ve clearly defined what you want and the path you want to take to get there, you must eliminate everything else that doesn’t resemble the version of you at your final destination.
“We are kept from our goals, not by obstacles, but by a clear path to lesser goals.”
— Robert Brault
Anything that’s not moving you towards the version of yourself standing at the finish line must be chipped away; this is what business moguls like Warren Buffet are getting at when they stress the importance of saying “no.”
If it’s not moving you closer to your goal, it’s moving you further away…
Each day is an opportunity to take one or more steps in the direction of your goal.
What people without a clear destination in mind do is take one step in 10,000 directions each day — usually cos our behavior is directed by goals and without a major one, all the others take precedence.
In other words, these people are busy.
Your goal is not to be busy; it’s to be effective.
Being busy is a sign of disorder.
It means there’s too many competing goals and your brain doesn’t know which one to optimize for.
Instead, identify the one goal you can achieve that helps you realize all the others.
Step 3: Transition to a state of knowing
You must align with your version of yourself in the future.
There’s three states you can use to achieve this…
#1 State of need
Needs come from a place of desperation.
If you feel like you need something beyond what you already have, it’s a constant reminder of lack.
Basically, you’re reminding yourself you’re incomplete.
People in this state often find themselves on the hedonic treadmill.
That is…
They constantly feel like they need something (i.e., a certain job) but once they get it, they still feel unfulfilled so move on to the next thing.
TLDR: you can never get where you wanna go if you always feel like you need something beyond what you already have.
#2 State of desire
Your desires are the things you want but know you don’t need.
For example, you may want a higher-paying job or a new car but don’t need it cos you already have a decent situation.
This state is healthier than the state of need cos it expresses contentment with the current circumstance.
… But it still comes from a place of lack since it acknowledges you still don’t have something.
This is enough conviction to signal to your brain that you’re not the person you want to be.
Therefore, your brain doesn’t have to search for feedback to reinforce the identity of someone who possesses the thing.
#3 State of possession
The state of possession is the most powerful state of being.
It’s an internal acceptance of the future version of yourself — the knowledge of what you want already being yours.
Think about this one for a moment…
When you know something is already yours, all you must do is receive it; this means your sense of gratitude is being expressed in the present for the future.
For example, my mum called me the other day to tell me she’s emptying my container in the UK and shipping my stuff to me in Ghana, which means I save an extra $260 per month.
I’m thankful now, even though I haven’t received the stuff or saved the $260 dollars yet — but I know it will happen.
This is powerful state cos it means you’re no longer trying to move toward the objective. You’ve already received the objective meaning you can act from it.
Using the scenario of my goods being shipped…
I don’t need to think about getting a new TV cos I’ve already got one in my storage that’s about to be shipped to me.
All I must do now is think about where it’s going to be situated in my house and how I want to use it rather than what I have to do to get it.
See the difference?
Step 4: Make the request
“[…]. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”
— John 16:24
Back to the story of Alice in Wonderland…
Alice didn’t know where she was going but tried to leverage the power of asking.
Due to her lack of clarity, she put herself at the mercy of the cat.
Let me explain…
A clear destination demands definitive answers.
“What is the fastest route to the Statue of Liberty from the O2 arena in London?” has one definitive answer.
If something doesn’t match the type of response you’re looking for (e.g., “it depends”), you can walk away from the conversation knowing the person didn’t have what you wanted.
Alice couldn’t do this. In fact, it happened…
The cat first appeared then disappeared and only reappeared when Alice begged it to return.
In this scenario, the cat was willing to walk away without losing out — Alice was the one without clarity.
This puts the cat in a position of power.
Since Alice didn’t know what she wanted, she couldn’t dictate the terms of what she got — even though she tried.
The cat suggested she goes towards the “mad hatter” or the “march here.”
Initially, she opted for the “march here” and then the cat informed her “he’s mad too.”
Her response was, “But I don’t want to go among mad people.”
To which the cat replied, “Oh you can’t help that. Almost everyone is mad here.”
It was up to the cat to decide her fate.
Here’s the moral of the story —
When you have a clearly defined destination and path, you must make the request for support in getting there but be willing to walk away if the answer doesn’t match what you want.
This is why almost every YouTube asks you to like and subscribe.
Most people don’t ask directly for what they want out of fear and lack of confidence, but it blocks you from receiving the support you require.
If you want to get where you’re going, you will have to hitch a few rides.
Make the ask.
Step 5: Build systems
Systems are about introducing structure.
They’re the moving force for the goals you want to achieve.
You simply set em and then forget you ever did…
The first step to systemizing your process is eliminating anything that doesn’t move you toward your goal — we’ve already discussed this in step two.
After you’ve eliminated what doesn’t make sense, you can automate what does.
For example, setting a time for idea generation, writing, and editing if you wanna start creating content for Medium.
The last step is outsourcing…
There will always be things you must do but don’t move you closer toward your goal.
For me that’s cooking, cleaning, and my taxes.
It’s better to outsource these things so you can optimize your time for activities that are most impactful.
Step 6: Put first things first
There’s a well-known parable of a university professor who wanted to make a point about how we prioritize our time.
He stood in front of the class with a display of items: sand, pebbles, rocks, and an empty jar.
He took the empty jar and filled it with rocks and raised it to the students and asked, “Is the jar full?”
“Yes,” the students replied.
He then added the pebbles to the jar and gave it a shake so they fall into the open areas between the rocks.
The professor asked the class again, “Is the jar full now?”
“Yes, it’s definitely full this time,” the students replied.
He then picked up the sand and poured it into the jar, filling the open spaces between the rocks and pebbles.
After, he raised the jar to the class and asked again, “What about now? is it full?”
The students laughed, and agreed — “C'mon prof, it’s gotta be full now.”
Indeed it was.
The empty jar represents each day you're presented with.
The big rocks are your most important tasks (MITs) — things that move you closer to your goal.
The pebbles represent other things that matter but don’t move you toward your goal (e.g., earning income to support yourself).
And the sand represents the remaining small stuff like staying up to date with the latest trends.
If you were to reverse the order and put the sand in first, you won’t have space to fit in the pebbles and rocks.
In other words, if you focus on the small stuff first in your day, you won’t have time for the things that matter.
You may be able to squeeze a few rocks in if you start with the pebbles, but not all.
This is why you must start your day with the MITs first — it’s the optimal way to have enough time fit in all you must do.
Step 7: Deadlines
People often don’t tend to their MITs cos they’re not urgent.
Nobody has a gun to your head telling you to become your best self.
By setting deadlines, you transform important tasks into urgent ones so they get done.
For example, I have a deadline each weekday to write one article.
This also includes editing (which I do several hours after writing to clear my mind), and submitting it to a publication.
I’m not too worried about when it gets published cos it’s not in my control; I just want to reinforce the belief that I get shit done.
Keeping things in your head causes paralysis by analysis.
When you know you’ve got to put something into the world, you’re forced to be action-oriented.
This makes you grow.
Final thoughts
Your superpower is the ability to intentionally design the life you want.
This is what sets you apart from every other non-human species on the planet.
Here’s the blueprint you need to make it happen:
Step 1: The definitive destination Step 2: Chip away at what’s not David Step 3: Transition to a state of knowing Step 4: Make the request Step 5: Build systems Step 6: Put first things first Step 7: Deadlines
I hope this helps.
Thanks for reading!
Get your hands on a FREE copy of “Don’t Just Set Goals. Build Systems” if you’re tired of setting goals and not achieving them.