You’re All Benefitting From My OCD

One man’s problem is a community’s gain

When I finish reading one of your stories and I see that you have 113 claps, I get a little twitchy. It’s that “3” at the end. I don’t like it. Numbers should always be multiples of 10 or at the very least 5, so even if I hadn’t planned on clapping for your story, I’m compelled to do it.

But if I’m going to clap at all, I can’t just clap 2 or 7 times, can I? That would be rude. Therefore, you end up getting anywhere between 22 and 47. Maybe that’s still not enough for you, but just remember; it might have been 0 if not for my sickness. And even if I like your story, it means you’re getting a few more claps from me than you might have from someone with a normal brain.

Now, I’m going to confess something to you. Something petty. If I see that you already have hundreds or thousands of claps, I’m more inclined to clap on the lower side out of envy.

See, I rarely receive more than a few hundred myself. And I’ve never once received a tip. Am I even set up to receive them? I thought I was, but when the platform makes changes, I don’t bother checking to see if I’m supposed to do anything.

I just want to read and write and I don’t want to have to think about anything else. I’m sure I’m not alone here. Of course, I also worry about whether or not I’m going to make any money, and I have this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that tells me reading and writing alone aren’t enough to guarantee income.

But it’s too frustrating to think about that other stuff.

I have these three novels I wrote that are floating around somewhere on Amazon. It’s a humorous mystery/sci-fi series about the son of the cat goddess Bastet who solves mysteries and gets laid a lot. I’m pretty proud of them, and I think anyone with tastes similar to mine would enjoy them.

But I haven’t really made much of a marketing effort, and they’ve been sitting there for so long at this point that I’m worried it’s too late. Be honest; when you come across a book published in 2018 with only 3 reviews, do you ever consider buying it? I know I don’t.

Unless the book has an interesting cover, which I like to think my novels do. Because I made them myself.

I’m not much of a graphic designer and I’m an average illustrator, but I have a mind for attention-grabbing wackiness, and a few of my dinosaur erotica covers have gone viral. This has been enough to sell some of my dinosaur erotica books, but it hasn’t done much for my novels, which have a similar aesthetic.

The word “marketing” fills me with the same anxiety as the number 113 does. If only marketing was as simple as adding claps to your story. When I hear phrases like “social media presence” and “generating mailing lists,” I just want to bury my head in cookie dough. Sometimes I do that anyway, but in this instance, it would be to hide from the world, not to enjoy dessert.

Last night, I bought a book about marketing on Amazon. “Bought” isn’t exactly accurate — it was free. Anyway, 3 pages in, and I’m already filled with dread because they’re using all those words and phrases that make me uncomfortable. So, instead of reading any further or considering how I might apply any of it to selling my books, I decided to write this article on Medium.

Medium may not be perfect, but it’s easy. Easy to read, easy to write, easy to make connections with like-minded people. “Easy” is relative, I guess. It can only overcome so much social anxiety, awkwardness, and OCD.

How about you guys? Do you have books hanging around that you feel aren’t getting the attention they deserve? If, based on what you can gather about my taste and sense of humor, you think I would enjoy your book, tell me about it in the comments.

I can’t promise I’ll read every single one, but if I do, you can count on my compulsion to leave a 5-Star review.

If you like what you’ve read, why not read more of it? Subscribe to my mailing list. And if you’re not already a member, Join Medium to access tons of great content.

Oh, and in case you’re interested, here’s that series I was telling you about:

And for any of you kinky and/or curious dino lovers out there, here’s this:

For those of you wondering why anyone in their right mind would write dinosaur erotica in the first place, well, I’m not in my right mind. But I explain it all here: