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Abstract

other hand abandoned your children long before now. You left them to fend for themselves. You pushed your daughter to take care of a newborn and raise him like her own child. She was just 9 years old when the youngest was born. NINE and raising a newborn infant. Why? It all boils down to a set of selfish parents who let disease control their lives. In honesty, I hate you both for what you’ve done to your children.As I’ve sat grieving the disconnect with mine, you have willfully walked away from yours. Someday, you’re going to learn the full damages that you’ve caused. The damages that have destroyed your family. The damages you won’t be able to fully grasp until you find yourself years sober.In the meantime, I’ll be over here raising and helping children that aren’t mine. The only regret I have for them is that they are forced to deal with the traumas your addiction has caused. It will take them years to recover from the domestic violence, neglect, and abandonment. No kid should ever be forced to live like that. You should have been removed from their lives LONG before now.With your two DWI’s, endangering your ten year old son’s life, and your failure to make sound decisions concerning drinking and driving, you won’t get the chance to hug your kids, watch your son graduate, or your daughter get her first job. You will miss all of that and more because you chose alcohol over all that. You will have to live the rest of your life regretting all of this.The ones that tried to help you are those of us picking up the pieces of your shattered life. We do it because we love and care about your children. For most of us, we’ve lost all respect for you personally.I truly hope that you get help in rehab and that prison gives you a clearer perspective of how much you have damaged your life. I hope that you get the recovery needed and your addiction doesn’t end up taking your life. You have many difficulties ahead that you are going to need to face away from your family and friends.You are going to have to make the effort every day for the rest of your life to define and cope away from alcohol. Not a single person out here can do that but you. In the meantime, those of us that love your children will still be here doing what you should have been doing all along. I wish that you had chosen a different pa

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th, but this path is yours to walk, not theirs. We will get them the help they all need to recover and heal from the traumas they have been imprisoned within.We will handle that, where you failed. What happens from here is out of your hands. It’s in the hands of kids ages 10–19 unfortunately. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you and what you say again because you’ve lied so frequently. I’m going to do what’s best for these kids, no matter what sacrifices need to be made.Someday, you are going to have to face that alcoholic, abusive, and neglectful father in the mirror. I’ll promise you won’t like what you discover. How you heal that individual is up to you from here forward. I wish you well on your journey to recovery but I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. You need to pray that it’s not the same thinking for your children. I can promise I’m going to stand by whatever decisions they make regarding involvement in your life and guide them best as I can.That includes eliminating you from their lives forever. They deserve much more than you’ve ever been able to supply to them. No kid should need to worry about having food for tomorrow while dad buys another bottle to get him through his day. No kid should go without basic needs, like shoes that don’t cause blisters, while his parent selfishly spends money on booze.Today starts a new beginning for these kids. A beginning filled with love, laughter, kindness, and compassion for THEM. Not their selfish, lying, manipulative, and controlling father who left them without anyone to take care of them.Today is the first day of your journey to recovery. IF you can ever admit how much you’ve failed yourself, your wife, and your entire family. Only time will tell on that aspect, won’t it? It’s difficult to tell since you’ve lied so many times about saying you would get help. The lies told this week alone are ridiculous. As each day passed without you even contacting your kids to see them, you’ve proven with each passing hour that you’re selfish and self-centered. Still choosing your girlfriend over your wife and kids.I’m ashamed to even know it at all. You disgust me in ways I never thought humanly possible. Enjoy your recovery. I know I’m going to be out here building and cherishing the children you do not deserve.</article></body>

You’re a Drunk

The things I’d like to say to the alcoholic that just traumatized his children

Photo by Samuele Errico Piccarini on Unsplash

As life flashes by, you’re more worried about that allure and crutch you find within that bottle of vodka. You are selfish in your need to drink over the health and welfare of your children. The children that you’ve left behind as you go off to rehab and by the looks of your illegal actions, a stint in prison. How could you look your children in the face and lie to them that you cared?

It’s not just the damage that you’ve done to them. It’s the damages you’ve caused to yourself. Your addiction controls your life, no matter where you are. It impacts all of those around you. From your place of employment that is left hanging because you can’t fulfill your duties to the neighbor that’s been handling the backside of your alcoholism.

I’m angry. I’m disappointed. I’m confused.

Don’t ever talk to me about how much you love your children again. It’s a lie. If you loved them, you wouldn’t have allowed your addiction to place your ten year old son in a truck, go down the road at 70 mph, and then blow a blood alcohol level of .12! It’s a felony for good reason. You could have killed that boy! Do you not realize this?

Don’t talk to me about love of children when I have held your children as they cried thanks to the horrible things you’ve said to them. I’ve helped them through their anxieties, fed them when you failed to make sure they had food, and helped them find some semblance of normalcy. That wasn’t you, it was me. I’ve been more of a parent for ten years than you’ve even tried to be.

I’ve tried to get you to see the damages you were causing. I’ve tried to get the kids the help they desperately needed. None of this should have been up to me. I don’t regret a single action I’ve done with these four children. Not a single time have I felt the need to walk away from them like you have. Not once!

You on the other hand abandoned your children long before now. You left them to fend for themselves. You pushed your daughter to take care of a newborn and raise him like her own child. She was just 9 years old when the youngest was born. NINE and raising a newborn infant. Why? It all boils down to a set of selfish parents who let disease control their lives. In honesty, I hate you both for what you’ve done to your children.

As I’ve sat grieving the disconnect with mine, you have willfully walked away from yours. Someday, you’re going to learn the full damages that you’ve caused. The damages that have destroyed your family. The damages you won’t be able to fully grasp until you find yourself years sober.

In the meantime, I’ll be over here raising and helping children that aren’t mine. The only regret I have for them is that they are forced to deal with the traumas your addiction has caused. It will take them years to recover from the domestic violence, neglect, and abandonment. No kid should ever be forced to live like that. You should have been removed from their lives LONG before now.

With your two DWI’s, endangering your ten year old son’s life, and your failure to make sound decisions concerning drinking and driving, you won’t get the chance to hug your kids, watch your son graduate, or your daughter get her first job. You will miss all of that and more because you chose alcohol over all that. You will have to live the rest of your life regretting all of this.

The ones that tried to help you are those of us picking up the pieces of your shattered life. We do it because we love and care about your children. For most of us, we’ve lost all respect for you personally.

I truly hope that you get help in rehab and that prison gives you a clearer perspective of how much you have damaged your life. I hope that you get the recovery needed and your addiction doesn’t end up taking your life. You have many difficulties ahead that you are going to need to face away from your family and friends.

You are going to have to make the effort every day for the rest of your life to define and cope away from alcohol. Not a single person out here can do that but you. In the meantime, those of us that love your children will still be here doing what you should have been doing all along. I wish that you had chosen a different path, but this path is yours to walk, not theirs. We will get them the help they all need to recover and heal from the traumas they have been imprisoned within.

We will handle that, where you failed. What happens from here is out of your hands. It’s in the hands of kids ages 10–19 unfortunately. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you and what you say again because you’ve lied so frequently. I’m going to do what’s best for these kids, no matter what sacrifices need to be made.

Someday, you are going to have to face that alcoholic, abusive, and neglectful father in the mirror. I’ll promise you won’t like what you discover. How you heal that individual is up to you from here forward. I wish you well on your journey to recovery but I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. You need to pray that it’s not the same thinking for your children. I can promise I’m going to stand by whatever decisions they make regarding involvement in your life and guide them best as I can.

That includes eliminating you from their lives forever. They deserve much more than you’ve ever been able to supply to them. No kid should need to worry about having food for tomorrow while dad buys another bottle to get him through his day. No kid should go without basic needs, like shoes that don’t cause blisters, while his parent selfishly spends money on booze.

Today starts a new beginning for these kids. A beginning filled with love, laughter, kindness, and compassion for THEM. Not their selfish, lying, manipulative, and controlling father who left them without anyone to take care of them.

Today is the first day of your journey to recovery. IF you can ever admit how much you’ve failed yourself, your wife, and your entire family. Only time will tell on that aspect, won’t it? It’s difficult to tell since you’ve lied so many times about saying you would get help. The lies told this week alone are ridiculous. As each day passed without you even contacting your kids to see them, you’ve proven with each passing hour that you’re selfish and self-centered. Still choosing your girlfriend over your wife and kids.

I’m ashamed to even know it at all. You disgust me in ways I never thought humanly possible. Enjoy your recovery. I know I’m going to be out here building and cherishing the children you do not deserve.