Your Worth Is Not Based On Your Achievements
You’re not meant to do it all — you’re meant to do what feels right for you.
The easiest path is to follow the steps of everyone else without ever questioning the steps you’re taking.
Most of us do exactly that — we spend years living on autopilot, trying to adapt to a society that’s based on being as productive as possible. There’s always something to achieve: we need to get that job, find that relationship, speak that language, move to that place.
We follow the path we’re expected to follow because having a script makes us feel like we have a safe, predictable future waiting for us — and because we carry the unconscious belief that our worth is based on our achievements.
The problem is that safety doesn’t equate to happiness, and productivity doesn’t equate to fulfillment.
You’re Not Meant To Do It All — You’re Meant To Do What Feels Right For You
Your value is not based on the job you have, on the course you’re taking, on how fit your body is or on how many languages you speak. Sure, these are all great achievements, but they are not who you are.
You are not more worthy or valuable because of your achievements.
This may sound like a radical idea to you, but there’s a deeper, inherent worth.
Your worth is in your ability to tune into your intuition. It’s in your courage to face your shadow and be truthful to yourself.
Your worth is in your ability to stay kind regardless of how much darkness you’ve witnessed. It’s in how much light you bring to others, but firstly, to yourself.
It’s in your ability to give and receive love freely, with no conditions or societal expectations.
Your worth is in your ability to self-reflect and improve yourself, not because you judge your flaws but rather because you love yourself and the Universe so deeply that you can’t help but honor your own journey.
Essentially, you’re worthy just as you are, just because you’re here. You’re worthy even when you’re not accomplishing anything.
The Balance Between The Doing Mode And The Being Mode
Maybe you’ve heard about the distinction between the doing mode and the being mode. These terms refer to different states of mind and are very used in mindfulness practices. Both modes are necessary in their own way.
We use our doing mode to be productive and get things done: working, paying the bills, preparing a meal, or cleaning our house.
On the other hand, the being mode takes over when we’re fully present in the moment, without analyzing or executing anything. It’s a meditative, reflective state that you can enter through activities like painting, meditating, walking, writing, or being in nature.
It doesn’t mean there’s no brain activity at all — it means you’re more in touch with your relaxed, creative side, and that you put more awareness into your actions.
Every person is different and what feels like being to you, may feel like doing to someone else. For instance, I hate cleaning my house, but for some people, it’s almost therapeutic. It all depends on the intention and the sensation.
Obviously, both states are extremely important and the perfect situation would be to find a balance between the two of them. The problem is, more often than not, we get caught up in the doing mode.
Even in moments and situations where we should be relaxed, like falling asleep, we’re still active. We want to be still and our mind won’t shut off. Do you know what this means? It means that you don’t control your mind. Your mind controls you.
Besides, we attach our value to our doing mode — our actions, our accomplishments — when, in reality, our true value resides in our whole being, regardless of the tasks we’re performing.
“The truth is, our worthiness doesn’t reside in doing; it lies within our very being. It’s unchanging, unwavering, and infinite. But we can certainly convince ourselves of the former and spend our lives hustling for the worthiness that we’ll never find in doing.”
Jadi Engels, in Your Worth Is Not Dependent on What You Do
Slowing down my life was one of the best decisions I have ever made. My health, my relationships, my self-awareness — everything has changed.
I want you to know that you can always choose to find peace within yourself. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone.
It’s okay to stop. It’s okay to rest. You don’t need to do anything — you can just be present and appreciate life as it is, right now.
