Your Urge To Be Right Can Sometimes Be Very Wrong

Can two people disagree and both be right at the same time?

The conversation escalated into an argument. Their words triggered something in me. In my rage, I attacked back. We were two people hurling fireballs at each other from opposite camps. The atmosphere was tense. If there is such a thing as a fair fight, I would expect the other person to begin first.

Of course, I was right. Why would I admit otherwise? Why would I choose to let go? Conflicts are everywhere, and I had intended to win at all costs. The world is a competitive place. People are ignorant and often misinformed. I felt the need to voice my thoughts and prove myself.

Reasoning with me was out of the question because I wouldn’t listen. I was always right. At some point, they got the message because they stopped talking. It was clear I had my mind made up.

I wasn’t sure if I was happy, but I was satisfied. At least, I thought I was. I equated satisfaction with winning. I needed validation to feel good about myself. Acknowledging a mistake equals defeat, resulting in humiliation. That will upset my philosophy. I didn’t see it then, but it was a misguided form of pride.

The concept of having two right opinions with different perspectives was unthinkable. I couldn’t accept it. Yet regardless of how many times I have wrangled over an issue, I wasn’t always right. Sometimes the other party wasn’t wrong. It was only because our views were in different contexts. My inflexibility revealed my lack of understanding, self-confidence, and compassion. I showed the world I was emotionally immature.

Growth happens when we’re willing to step out of our current boundaries. People who believe they are right about everything don’t take on new perspectives. They miss the opportunity to discover what they may not know. They seek refuge behind the towering wall of insecurity, refusing peace. Concluding a matter based only on their limiting viewpoints is narrow thinking.

I learned to fight for my piece of the pie growing up. Admitting fault made me look weak. It was a frustrating reminder of me as a flawed human being, forgetting that was true for everyone, too. I clung to my beliefs with absolute certainty, refusing to entertain disputes. I insisted on defending myself and convincing others I was worthy. Surrendering was hard, and I wanted no part in that.

Somewhere down the line, I’ve overlooked an important point. Like me, others have a right to their opinions and ideas too. Many are arguably defensible, but I wasn’t about to compromise.

I wanted to change them all. However, bull-dozing my way through guaranteed failure. The opposition either pushed harder or shut down and walked away. It was impossible to have peace of mind because I was constantly in conflict. None of it was all that relevant, anyway.

The need to have the last word in every discussion comes with a hefty price tag. It took so much time and energy to convert the world to my limited view. My ego got involved, and it narrowed my field of vision. Mental rigidity kept me stuck in my ways and added stress to my relationships.

What if I was wrong? What if I gave in to embrace the other side, exploring all my doubts to consider another possibility? What if I suspended my belief and, for a moment, assumed the likelihood that the other person may be right? What if I had stayed open, and in the process, discovered my world didn’t fall apart?

Everyone has unique challenges. Environmental factors affect our behavior. Until we walk in someone’s shoes, we can never understand why people believe what they do.

We show respect by accepting each other’s individuality. Every idea, belief, and opinion is valid. That has nothing to do with right or wrong. We don’t have to agree, but we don’t have to destroy them either. Contrast creates “aha” moments that could point us toward an unexpected positive outcome.

Shutting down someone else’s differing opinion is a complete waste of time. We insist on black and white against a plethora of colors. We limit our options when there are pathways for every conceivable outcome.

Understanding build bridges and is the shortest path that brings people together. As I let my guard down, the world gradually began to look and feel different. It’s possible for differing opinions to co-exist. We can listen without needing to change our minds.

Some days I may have to eat my words. That doesn’t make me less of a person than I already am. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. I move on with a healthier perspective. Compassion for others begins right here with self. Everyone deserves peace without needing to prove themselves all the time.

Peace is letting life be, allowing the flow, and letting go of what hinders us. Sometimes, we are our biggest stumbling block.

It was a rough journey of self-discovery. Am I always right? Far from it. And oh, what a relief that is.

Will you insist you’re right when others around you have a different opinion?

The recent nature prompts from Reciprocal got me all excited. I fell in love with the words of these talented writers.

Just as the moon goes through phases, our lives also experience cycles. We are born, grow, mature, and eventually reach a point where we must let go and make room for new growth. — Mia Verita

The rain is surely on its way. Rain drops, tear drops, sometimes they feel the same. Especially those times that you use those raindrops to hide those teardrops. — William J Spirdione

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