Your Pain Can Either Make You or Break You
A guide to handling the shit life throws your way
People are like coal.
They’re dirty and cheap.
Yet all pieces of coal go under pressure in their lifetimes.
Now the pieces of coal can do one of 2 things.
- They can either break under the pressure.
- Or they can change what’s inside themselves and turn into diamonds.
The choice is yours. Are you going to be a piece of coal or a diamond.
I hope you enjoyed that metaphor as much as I did. While the pieces of coal don’t really have a choice. You do. You have complete control over how your pain shapes you.
I empathise to those hurting. I know its hard. I know how hard it is to suffer through pain.
I’ve suffered from severe eczema since I was 4 years old. If you don’t know what that is, its basically a skin condition in which my skin can get really red and dry and itchy easily because of allergens. Because of that I’ve been hospitalised twice, gotten a rare skin disease and been teased and bullied for 10 years.
After years of suffering both mentally and physically I’ve been through some crazy shit. But today I’m living my best life. I’m super resilient and incredibly emotionally wealthy and I couldn't have done it without that pain. I’m surrounded by great friends who challenge me and a family that loves me.
So while it was a blessing in disguise I could have been led down a very different path.
I could have resorted to drugs or distancing myself or falling into depression to cope with my pain. But I didn’t. I accepted I was going through some hard shit. And I got through it knowing it’ll pass. And that it would eventually be worth it. And it sure was.
And no doubt in life if you’re going to go through. It’s inevitable. So why not profit from it.
I’ll give you an example of how people can choose how to react from their pain.
2 Kids and an Alcoholic Father
The story goes, there were 2 brothers both raised by an alcoholic father.
Later in life as adults, they were interviewed. And they were asked what their jobs were. One of the sons was a successful businessman, while the other became an unemployed alcoholic.
They were then asked what caused you to get to where you are today.
They both gave the same reply. “I watched my father”.
The lesson: Both sons had to struggle and deal with the same alcoholic father, yet they decided differently on how it would shape them. One decided that he would be different than his father and go on to become a successful man. While the other brother decided to be negatively shaped by his father and follow in his footsteps.
If you’re going to take only one thing away from this article know this. You aren’t defined by your pain. You’re defined by how you choose to be shaped by your pain.
Choose to profit from your pain
You’re like ‘ok Yaqoob’. I get it.
I get this positive mindset crap. But how do I do it. How do I get past the pain?
That’s the thing.
You don’t.
You can get over the pain but it always remains a part of you.
And that it isn’t at all a bad thing. It’s what you choose it to be.
What you need to do is make your pain a motivating force. Match your identity with your pain. Make it your defining reason for pushing through life.
Take me for example, I don’t define myself as an eczema sufferer. I define myself as resilient, tough and empathetic. Why? Because of my ability to overcome my pain.
Ask any person who knows me. They’ll tell you I’m probably the most fucking positive person they’ve ever met. Why? Because I am. Despite having gone through more shit than anyone in my grade I act nicer than everyone else. Why? Because I choose to be kind. I choose to be nice.
“What makes an amazing person. An amazing person is someone who chooses to be kind and happy even when the world gives them every right to be sad and shitty.”
— Me :)
Make your choice.