Your Oldest Friends Are Your Best Friends
This is true for whatever stage of life you’re in.
‘I hate driving in the city!’ I said to 2 of my friends in the car who I just picked up a few minutes earlier.
We’re supposed to meet with other friends for a year-end lunch in a Spanish-themed restaurant Alba. The drive was awful, as expected here in Manila, Philippines.
But in between that drive to and from Alba, my friends and I logged a total of 8 hours catching up. For our age (early to mid-30s), this is long! People like us need coffee to stay awake, and a lot of sleep and me time to stay in a good mood.
I guess we were trying to make up for the many months we didn’t see each other. One of us is based abroad, one is a mom of 2, and most of us are corporate junkies (or I was) who prefer quiet weekends over socializing.
We have almost 20 years of friendship before us.
Why does this type of friendship mean the world to us?
Because shared experiences from the past can never be replaced, and it’s almost guaranteed that you will be part of each other’s future.
You were there for the birthday parties, weddings, new babies being born, deaths in the family, moving jobs and apartments, break-ups — all of it. And you are still there.
Your friends are the family members that you chose. In this life, not everyone has built friendships like the oldest ones you have. In between the turbulent college years, comparing notes from your first job, planning a wedding and traveling for the first time using that hard-earned salary, these friendships have kept you grounded.
That space where you can talk about your struggles and without shame is a happy and safe place.
That space feels like home.
Buddhist monk and bestselling author Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book The Art Of Communicating, says that ‘Home is the place where loneliness disappears. When we’re home, we feel warm, comfortable, safe, fulfilled.’
Ray Dalio, American billionaire and named as the most successful hedge fund manager and author of Principles, says that ‘there is no amount of money I would take in exchange for a meaningful relationship.’
The most meaningful of friendships are those that are low-maintenance, always constant, never demanding, always forgiving.
Though you and your friends walk towards the paths you’ve chosen as individuals, you will keep coming back to where you truly belong.
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Odyssa is a writer, Ashtanga yoga practitioner, and a remote worker. Follow her tweets here. Subscribe to her weekly letters to hear her thoughts on Ashtanga yoga, shifting from the office desk to remote work, writing (of course) plus bits and pieces of her personal life.
