Your New Year Resolutions Are All Wrong

A better way to set goals and keep them

It’s almost that time of year again, where millions of people around the world will make promises to themselves (and others) on what they are going to do in the new year to improve their lives.

For years, I was guilty of doing the same. I say guilty because I, like many, would naively make these pledges only to give up on them weeks or months later. As I got older, I tried to get wiser and aim for more meaningful goals other than simply losing weight, exercising more, blah, blah, blah…

After years of failure, I’ve finally figured out, that I need to stop proclaiming what I’m GOING TO DO and instead proclaim what I’m NOT GOING TO DO.

A trap that many people fall into is the idea that in order to make progress you always have to do something — take some type of positive action. We’ve been taught this from the time we were born.

Need money… go get a job — need more money? Go get a better job or work longer hours.

Want to lose weight… go exercise more. Haven’t lost enough? Workout longer, run farther.

Didn’t pass a test? Study harder… study longer… study more.

Everything in our culture is built around the idea of doing more to get more of the thing you’re seeking.

What if we did less?

Gasp, swoon…

I know, heaven forbid we say NO to anything or anyone. We’ve been raised to think that saying, “no” is a bad thing. It’s rude… doing less means your lazy. This spills over into every facet of our lives.

But what I’ve found is that saying “no” to more things might actually give you more energy and more focus to succeed in the things that are truly important.

Example:

You’re gaining more weight because you’re more stressed! Doing more laps around the track is not going to make you lose more weight.

The secret is doing less of the things that is causing you the stress. If a job is causing you more stress, it may mean finding a job that is less demanding. That may also mean less pay… but you may end up living a more fulfilling life.

I’ve struggled with eating healthy my whole life. I’m a naturally picky eater that has suffered with food allergies since I was a child. Superfoods like nuts and berries are just a few of the foods that are off limits for me. I’m also very cheap, and regardless of what people say, unless you have a garden in your backyard, eating healthy in a major metro area is expensive. There is a reason why Whole Foods is called Whole Paycheck — that’s where all your money goes on payday if you shop there regularly. But shamefully, I’m also a bad snacker. So, eventually I had to change my mindset from focusing on eating more healthy foods to just eating less of the bad stuff. It’s like the well-told joke of someone super-sizing their meal at McDonald’s with the two triple cheeseburgers and large fries, but then asking for a large Diet Coke®. It just won’t counter-balance all the bad calories no matter how many diet drinks you consume.

You may not have to spend more time at Whole Foods; it could be as simple as spending less time at Whataburger, Sonic, Popeye’s Chicken, and the hundreds of other restaurants that only serve calorie-dense food.

What’s your NO?

So as you head into the new year, look for those “no’s” — what do you need to do less of to make room for more of something else?

No more spending time with people who bring negative energy.

Less time watching useless, toxic programs on television.

Less time going to places that don’t uplift and bring real value to you and your family.

Saying “no” to more people who waste your time, drain your energy, and are unappreciative.

If you make more resolutions like these, you’ll be amazed how much progress you make throughout the year and how much easier it is to keep your goals.

Happy New Year!

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