Your Life Has a Purpose, but It’s Not Happiness

You are unique, and so is the meaning of your life.

What’s the purpose of life?

Pretty heavy question. To answer it, we first have to ask another question: Why do you care?

This one can be answered more easily. It’s in our nature. We humans are bound to always strive for more, to move forward, and to look for purpose and meaning. Without it, you don’t do your inner drive justice and will feel miserable.

Many animals can feel emotions and some species are even self-aware. But humans are the only one with what’s called higher or secondary consciousness.

This type of consciousness involves abstract thinking, self-reflective awareness, and most important, metacognition. Metacognition is thinking about thinking or being aware of your awareness. Without it, you wouldn’t even be able to ask yourself what the meaning of life is.

When you think about the purpose of your life here on earth, many things come to mind. Procreation, survival, happiness, being a good man or human being, connection, love, learning, growth, or the advancement of our species.

But when you zoom out and look at the bigger picture, things begin to look very different very quickly.

The universe is incredibly huge and potentially endless. Astronomers estimate its diameter to be 93 billion light-years or 8.8*10²³ kilometers. If you drove through it in a car at 100km/h it would take you one quintillion years (a one followed by 18 zeroes.) According to the European Space Agency, the number of stars in the universe is roughly one septillion (a one followed by 24 zeroes). That’s about a million times as much as there are grains of sand on earth.

Long story short, the place is vast, to say the least. It’s a huge, 13.8 billion years old ball of chaos held together by the laws of physics and our planet is a super small speck of dust at best.

When you look at the grand scheme of things and the fact that our average lifespan is 73 years, there can’t be a universal purpose of life on earth. On a cosmic scale, anything any human has ever done and will ever do is insignificant, no matter how many cat videos you share, books you read, starving children you save, or church services you attend. You don’t matter nearly as much as you think you do.

But that doesn’t mean you should quit your job to live like a hermit or rob a bank because nothing matters anyway.

There are meaning and purpose to your life on earth — you just have to look through the right lens.

The Happiness Paradox

“Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.”

— George Orwell

Before we get into what purpose of life on earth is, let me preface this by what it’s not. It’s not happiness.

Yes, I know you want to feel good. I do, too. When I lay down in the sun with a cold beer, a hot woman or good friend next to me, and nothing on my schedule, I too get the feeling of “ahhh, that’s what life is supposed to be like.”

Happiness and feeling good are great, but they’re not the purpose of life.

Look at what happiness is for most people. It’s the desire to feel good and avoid discomfort — again, it’s something we’re wired to do as humans.

There is only one teeny tiny problem with it. If you set happiness as your main goal, you will never actually be happy.

Why? Because you don’t achieve happiness by pursuing it. It comes from solving problems, overcoming challenges, and working for what you want.

Think about the last time you felt truly happy and accomplished. Maybe it was a Friday evening after you finished a big project at work, you fell in love with a beautiful woman who reciprocated your feelings, or you finally did something you’ve been dreading for years, like quitting your job or moving to a different country.

Either way, the feeling arises because you put in all the work and finally see it pay off.

Happiness is a reward for accomplishing something and overcoming hardships. And as such, it’s a fleeting feeling. It’s an endless pursuit.

That’s what I call the Happiness Paradox. Problems and challenges cause you discomfort and take away from your happiness. At the same time, they are the antecedent for it. Without them, life quickly feels empty.

Due to your inbuilt human need to strive and move forward, you need the struggles and conflicts. Without them, you couldn’t be happy.

Happiness isn’t self-sustainable and therefore can’t be the purpose of life — it’s merely a byproduct.

But if everything we do will vanish anyway and making ourselves happy isn’t the goal — then what is the purpose of life?

“The purpose of life is right in front of us: It’s to create a reality we want to inhabit — to reach towards the better end of our conscious experience.”

— Zat Rana

As a human, you are designed to strive, to move forward, to overcome obstacles, and to thrive through challenges. As such, the purpose of your life is quite obvious. It is to find and overcome your ultimate challenge.

The purpose of life is to find a purpose for yourself.

It’s Your Responsibility to Leave a Legacy

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

With everything you do, every action you take, every decision you make, you contribute to the grand scheme of things. Sure, on a cosmic scale, your undertakings are insignificant — but they have a very real impact on yourself, the people around you, and our planet.

You can make your life and the world a little bit better and contribute to the grand scheme of things. For yourself, your loved ones, or the generations to come. What exactly that means is up to you.

I don’t expect you to save the world single-handedly. I understand that cracking open a cold one with the boys and watching the new Netflix special is easier than fighting climate change, inequality, or otherwise make the world a better place.

But as a man, you have the responsibility to do so.

In today’s world, you are free to do almost whatever you want. You can travel overseas, call someone in Bangkok, or build a website in a matter of minutes. You can hop into an assembly of metal, plastic, and glass on four wheels that will take you anywhere in a matter of hours.

But this freedom is inseparable from responsibility.

You have the freedom to speak your mind, but the responsibility to think about what you say and express yourself in a clear and meaningful way.

You have the freedom to act as you wish, but the responsibility to act in a way that is appropriate and doesn’t harm others.

You have the freedom to develop and express yourself, but the responsibility to become a good human being.

You have the freedom to be part of this world, but the responsibility to make it a better place in one way or the other.

As a man, your responsibility is to act with meaning. It’s to contribute to this world instead of just taking. Find a purpose beyond yourself.

You have to leave a legacy, whatever that is for you.

It can be small, like educating other people or children so they can build a better future for themselves, helping those in need, carrying shopping bags for the elderly, or fighting climate change by bringing your own backpack instead of buying plastic bags.

It can be big, like setting up a foundation, charity, or business that changes the course of humanity Elon Musk style.

It can be anything in between.

Act with purpose, go beyond yourself, and contribute to the world.

You Are Unique, and so Is Your Purpose

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

— Arleen Lorrance

The first step to find your personal purpose in life is to empty your cup. Clear your mind. You are looking for your personal purpose, not what society or your family and friends think you should do. Be authentic.

Society thrives on the conformity of its members. I’m not telling you to put on your rebel bandana and storm the Bastille, but to find out how you can make the world a better place and contribute to it, you have to challenge the status quo.

Society says you should watch the news to be an informed citizen, work your 9 to 5 to keep the economy going, buy that BMW you’ve been dreaming of, and post your life on Instagram to show everyone you’re balling.

Let me drop the harsh truth on you. None of that is going to matter once you are dead. The only thing that’s going to matter is the difference you made in the world.

If you don’t contribute to something beyond yourself, you’ll always have a painful void inside of you. You’ll try to fill it with social media, drugs, meaningless sex, or whatever the coping mechanism of your choice is. But you’ll forever feel inferior and insignificant because superior and meaningful actions require you to go beyond yourself.

Imagine the world as you would like it to be. What’s the world you want your children to grow up in? What kind of life do you wish for your loved ones? What do you want society and humanity to be like? What has to change? What is important to you?

You won’t turn the world around on your own, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your very best and contribute as much as you can.

You don’t have to throw your own life out the window and become a philanthropist. You want to live, too, and so do I.

Instead, trade meaningless consumption for the contribution to something beyond yourself step by step. Instead of spending another two hours on Netflix, call your mother, help your kids with their homework, go to an animal shelter and ask if you can walk one of their dogs, work on yourself and develop your skills, or share your knowledge with the world through a blog or YouTube video. Create. Contribute. Inspire.

I guarantee that once you start doing that, you’ll slowly replace the void inside you with a deep sense of fulfillment and being part of something bigger. You’ll know that you have made the world a better place.

Get to work.

How Will You Die?

“This is our big mistake: to think we look forward to death. Most of death is already gone. Whatever time has passed is owned by death.”

— Seneca

Most regrets will come to you when you are on your deathbed. It’s that stage of reflection and life passing in front of your eyes that gets you to say I wish I did… or I could’ve been…

Apart from social conditioning and possible pain, this is the real reason people are afraid of death. At that very moment, life’s over. You ran out of time and anything you haven’t done or experienced up to that point is something you never will.

But death isn’t an event that happens at one point in the distant future. It’s happening right now, in every second, every ticking of the clock, every moment that passes.

Yes, your life is incredibly short and you’re infinitesimal on a cosmic scale. But this life, no matter how short or small, is the gift and the freedom you’ve been given, and you’ve got the responsibility to make something out of it.

Stop chasing happiness, it’s not going to make you happy. Instead, contribute and give to the world so you can die in peace, knowing that you made the world a better place.

Find your purpose and get to work.

Changing the world can seem like an insurmountable task. But in reality, it doesn’t take much effort at all.

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