Your Key to Successful Relationships: Work on Yourself First

“Working on yourself is about appreciating yourself and understanding yourself, and looking at what is important to you.”

— Zack Stojkovic

Building successful relationships — both romantic and otherwise — can seem complicated and daunting. Despite the difficulty, having meaningful connections with people is incredibly important to our overall well-being, as these relationships offer us comfort, support, encouragement, and joy on a daily basis.

If you’re struggling to form fulfilling bonds with other people, then it may be time for some self-reflection.

By working on yourself before approaching new or existing relationships, you can experience true success when forming lasting bonds.

Let’s dive into ways that focusing inwardly will help create more satisfying interpersonal experiences.

1. Be comfortable with yourself

Before entering a relationship, being comfortable with yourself is essential. This means being happy and content with who you are physically and emotionally.

If you’re not comfortable with yourself, finding someone who is a good match for you and maintaining a healthy relationship will be difficult.

Ways to explore this personal relationship would be to see how easily you can spend time alone, try some journaling, and take yourself out for a date!

If you don’t require external validation to feel comfortable in yourself, you’re more likely to develop a successful relationship with another.

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

― Mark Twain

2. Know what you want

It seems like a question that should be easy to answer. But surprisingly, many people don’t actually know what they want for themselves.

It’s essential to figure this out before beginning a relationship where you take on someone else’s wants and desires.

What is the ideal kind of person you see yourself being with? What are your goals and expectations? Are you looking for a serious or casual relationship?

Once you know what you want, you’ll be more able to find someone who is a good fit for you.

“The first secret of getting what you want is knowing what you want.”

— Arthur D. Hlavaty

3. Be honest with yourself

It’s also essential, to be honest with yourself before entering a relationship. This means taking some time to reflect on your past relationships and uncovering what didn’t work out.

What were your biggest mistakes? What did you learn from them?

One of the best ways to explore this is to get out a notebook and simply write it out. Sometimes we have memories we don’t wish to reflect on — but understanding what doesn’t work puts you closer to knowing what does.

By being honest with yourself, you can avoid making the same mistakes in your next relationship.

4. Be independent

Another vital thing to do before entering a relationship is to be independent. This means having your own hobbies, interests, and friends outside of the relationship.

Maintaining your identity and not becoming too dependent on your partner is crucial. Otherwise, it can lead to problems down the road.

Having your own interests and ways to spend your time independently of one another ensures a healthy balance of fulfillment.

“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.”

— Michael Bassey Johnson

5. Communicate openly and honestly

Finally, one of the most important things before entering a relationship is communicating openly and honestly with your partner. This means sharing your thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires without fear of judgment or criticism.

Don’t forget that listening openly and honestly to your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and needs is essential also!

Only by communicating openly and honestly can both partners genuinely understand each other and build a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.

“Communication is the backbone of a good relationship. It’s through communicating with one another that we build emotional intimacy.”

— Leigh Norén

Final thoughts

Being comfortable with who you are is crucial to having successful relationships. If you don’t know what you want or need, it’s impossible to communicate that to your partner. And if you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you expect to have an honest relationship with someone else?

It all starts with you.

Once you work on being the best version of yourself, everything else will fall into place — and you’ll find the healthy, happy relationship you deserve.

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