Summary

The author finds solace in hobbies like reading and writing to cope with the grief of losing their sister to suicide and the subsequent emotional turmoil.

Abstract

The author shares a deeply personal account of the emotional rollercoaster they experienced after their sister's suicide attempt, which ultimately led to her passing. Despite initial plans to expand their writing career, the author's world is shaken by the tragic event. They find themselves unable to focus on work or writing, feeling vulnerable and broken. It is through the rediscovery of their love for reading and the support of their wife that the author begins to heal. Books become a source of peace and a means to gradually return to writing. The author expresses a wish for their sister's happiness in the afterlife and a hope that others may be spared such pain. They emphasize the importance of cherishing loved ones and the power of hobbies to aid in overcoming life's darkest phases.

Opinions

The author believes that engaging in hobbies, particularly reading and writing, can be therapeutic during times of grief and emotional distress.
They express a strong sense of regret and guilt for not being there for their sister during her hard times.
The author holds a conviction that their sister was driven to suicide by the pain inflicted by her abusive husband, whom they refer to as a "monster."
There is an underlying hope or belief that the author's sister is now at peace and free from her suffering.
The author values the support and understanding provided by their wife during this difficult period, acknowledging her role in their recovery process.
They

Your Hobbies Help You Overcome Your BAD PHASE. Trust ME!

Losing someone very close to your Heart Leaves You Vulnerable. Your Hobbies Take You Out of the Pit

Life, in simple words, is a merry-go-round. It will take you up to a point where the wind will brush through your hair, and you will be able to see a view of the whole city. It will also show you the lowest point it can reach.

Last year was a merry-go-round for me. It took me to the heights of achievement. Writing gave me so much apart from just money.

But this year also gave me the worst phase of my life.

In one instance life took my childhood from me.

The previous year, I was at the onset of envisioning new dimensions of life as I wanted to begin my writer career on various other platforms as well. But life had some other plans for me. I postponed some of my scheduled appointments for some publications as my office wanted more of my time.

On 22nd September 2021, I received a call from my younger brother. He seemed worried and wasn't able to say clearly. He was breathing heavily and was stammering badly. I tried to relax him first.

"Calm down, and don't worry. Tell me what happened. I am there for you; relax first and tell me everything."

But what he spoke literally terrified me. He said, "Brother, please come home as soon as you can. Sister has attempted suicide. They are taking her to the hospital."

I was in the office. It was eleven in the night. I left all work, called my wife to pack a bag and required stuff for our son, and purposely didn't inform her of the reason. On my way home, I booked a cab to my hometown. We reached there by three in the morning.

I realized how powerless sometimes we all become. My sister was lying lifeless with bruises all over her body—purple marks on her shoulders, arms, and back.

She must have been in so much pain that giving up on her life was easier for her.

I knew her; she wasn't a coward. But life made her do so.

I always try to assure my heart that — Where ever she is now, she is at peace. Where ever she is, she is happier than before. Where ever she is, she is away from her cruel and insane husband. Where ever she is, she is now free.

It's around six months since she has left this world. But still, I find it hard to believe.

Maybe I am in a dream, I’ll wake up one day and will find her with me just as fine as before.

I wasn't able to concentrate on any work — neither office nor writing. I was vulnerable, broken entirely from within.

My wife, my better half, took me to a library. That very day I found some peace within. Then I bought books — tens of them to myself busy.

It was only because of these books that I overcame this terrible phase of my life.

Only when I was convalescing mentally did I come back to Medium and spend the remaining time writing.

On weekends, I spend almost six hours reading because reading books is not only enlightening but has been my favorite hobby since my childhood.

I knew that only by spending every minute reading and writing, I'd recover. And that is what has happened.

I wish no one of my fellow writers or any reader who's reading this has to face this dreadful phase.

Losing the person we love so much is always terrifying. Be it your mother, wife, brother, sister — or any relation — everyone you love must be happy and healthy. Because we might not know this, they are our real treasure.

All I want you to know, sister, is that I am incomplete without you. I miss you so much.

I am sorry I wasn't there to console you in your hard times.

I assure you that the monster will repay you for every minute of physical abuse and violence and for everything wrong he did to you.

I am sorry. I should have been there for you. When you were depressed and sad, I should have been there for you.

I love you, and I love you very, very much.