Your Greatest Rival Is Who You See In The Mirror

For personal development, you are the only person who matters

The header doesn’t apply to those who exist in a universe with haunted houses. In that situation, what you see in the mirror definitely isn’t your rival. You should immediately call a mover and an exorcist.

I received one of the harshest talks in my life when I was 14.

I had spent the preceding four years competing with a genius, and it was tough.

He effortlessly scored top marks in all subjects. Much to the disdain of my father, I wasn’t the recipient of most of the academic prizes available to my grade.

By the time I became a senior, I had accepted my “inferiority”.

After a chemistry test, I told my friend that my 40% grade was a huge achievement because the other guy had 60%.

To be honest, I would have been happy with 10% if he had something similar.

Seemingly out of nowhere, my friend told me she was disappointed that I measured my worth using HIS performance.

I was shocked. I was suddenly made aware of how far I had fallen.

Like all turning points in life, it was tough to face the truth at the time.

I based my sense of achievement around the accomplishments of another person.

I effectively gave him control of my emotional and mental well-being.

Unhealthy competition does that to a person.

This is the kind of behavior that makes a multimillionaire feel “poor” because they happen to know a billionaire.

The behavior makes people stay in abusive relationships because “they know people that have it worse”.

It’s a lifestyle that rarely leads to a joyful and fulfilled existence.

Needless to say, I had my best grades in secondary school after I stopped using his grades as a yardstick of personal success.

I started competing with the only fair rival that exists: the Seyi of the previous day

I know this sounds corny but it worked.

It didn’t make me smarter but it gave me something very important: peace of mind.

That peace enabled me to focus on continuous improvement.

“Can I score higher than him?” become “Can I get a higher grade than what I had last time?”.

Without noticing, my grades matched his and I graduated top of my class.

Another benefit of focusing on myself was that it allowed me to get to know my former rival better and we ended up being good friends.

I see too many people make themselves miserable through unhealthy competition.

I strongly believe that competing with ourselves is the only fair competition there is. This is so for one fundamental reason:

Each one of us is unique

Inherent advantages and disadvantages that make up a person.

In a sense, there’s no such thing as a level playing field.

Genes might make you better than me when it comes to numbers.

My habits might provide a slight edge over another person in terms of writing about businesses.

Even if we’re given equal support and resources, these subtle differences that make us unique will eventually cause a divergence in our performance.

For this reason, continuous self-improvement can prove to be a healthier and more sustainable alternative to the typical competition.

So, stop being unfair to yourself. If you must compete, look inwards, not outwards.