Your Favorite Song From Weezer’s Blue Album Tells Me All I Need to Know About You

An “in-depth” personality “assessment”

Weezer is that band that you probably liked in high school because you’re a nerd. I assume you still listen to them on occasion or else why would you be reading this? Their 1994 debut album, Weezer is pretty much the only thing they released that’s worth listening to. Ok, fine, Pinkerton is ok too. Don’t take my word for it, back in 2018 (I get all my pop culture on a 2 year lag), SNL brilliantly summed up everything you need to know about Weezer. So if SNL has already voiced my opinion better than I ever could, what am I doing here anyway?

Good question, I’ve been asking myself that for 28 years.

But really, as I listened to the blue album for the 12th time in a row yesterday, it got me thinking. Does your favorite song from that album give us a unique insight into your psyche? Can we use it as a personality assessment to rival the Myers Briggs test? Yes, yes we can. So here’s what your favorite song says about you!

My Name Is Jonas

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

You really just like the beginnings of things, but you don’t tend to stick with them. Your favorite part of every romcom is the meet cute and you steadily lose interest from there. There’s nothing really wrong with that, just as My Name Is Jonas is a perfectly fine song, but you’re missing the bigger picture of context. Stick around awhile. You’ve got time.

No One Else

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

Seriously? This is your favorite song on the album? First of all, what’s wrong with you? The best thing about this song is that it’s only 3 minutes long and you can skip it. What does it say about you? Frankly, it says you aren’t ready for a real relationship. Get yourself some therapy and work out those toxic jealousy impulses. And then find a better song to be your favorite.

The World Has Turned and Left Me Here

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

Your friends are always hanging out without you. That’s sad, but I feel you, man. It’s hard. You think that your friends’ lives revolve around you but really sometimes they like to hang when you’re not around. It’s all good though. Keep working on yourself and maybe make some better friends. On the plus side, you’ve got a pretty cool favorite song.

Buddy Holly

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

You like to have fun, and you’re probably a little bit obsessed with horn-rimmed glasses. Maybe you like the music of Buddy Holly, but probably you’ve just listened to “Oh Boy” a few times and maybe caught half of the Gary Busey movie on HBO 10 years ago. At any rate, you like to have a good time and that’s cool.

Undone - The Sweater Song

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

Wow, you were like really into Weezer when you were in high school, huh? You probably went around making all your friends listen to this song on your portable CD player all the time, trying to get them to love Weezer as much as you do. Well, that’s cool I guess. Just keep on lying on the floor (lying on the floor) as you come undone. Also, this is definitely a very funny song, so that’s cool too. You’re probably kinda funny yourself.

Surf Wax America

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

You’ve never worked a day in your life, have you? Clearly, you don’t understand what commuting to and from work is like. Newsflash, buddy: a surfboard is not a viable alternative to a car. I can’t believe I had to tell you that. Surfing is all cool and it does make you seem slightly less like a nerd, but someday you’ve got to grow up, get a real job, and maybe put on a tie. Unless you’re a professional surfer that is. If that’s the case, hang 10 brah!

Say it Ain’t So

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

Either you got some family problems or you actually just like harder rock. Maybe your friends told you about Weezer and this was the only song that really stuck out to you before you went back to listen to whatever hard rock was happening in the 90s.

In The Garage

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd! Man, you’re nerdy even for a Weezer fan. Go back to playing your dungeons and dragons while listening to Kiss in your mom’s garage. Sorry, that was harsh. Don’t worry, it’s my favorite too so I’m allowed to make fun of you for it.

Holiday

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

You can only be described as a connoisseur. Holiday is hands down the best song on this album and the best song Weezer ever made. And I will fight anyone who says otherwise (and so will you, brother). You have excellent taste, so excellent that most of your friends are probably sick of you. Being right isn’t always easy.

Only In Dreams

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

This song is so pretty and romantic and so are you. Only in Dreams was probably on every single mix tape you made in high school at least once. Did you play it in the car on every single date you went on? Probably. Don’t let this cruel, heartless world crush the romanticism out of you. You’re too pure for the real world and you must be protected.

Island In the Sun

Listen on Spotify; listen on Apple Music

This song isn’t even on the Blue Album, it’s on the Green Album! God, what a poseur. This article was for real Weezer fans. Get outta here with that fake fandom of yours!

Wow, wasn’t that more fun than taking a quiz? I think so. You get to see my unfounded opinions on every option without having to take it 11 times. I know you’re probably annoyed at what I said about you/your favorite song, but really I think you should be thanking me just for taking the time to write this list. So, you’re welcome!

Join us next week when we tackle the age old question: “I won’t shut up about Animal House, does that make me a monster?” Spoiler: the answer is yes.