LIFE | MENTAL HEALTH | WELL-BEING

Your Body Will Thank You For Packing In Those Dopamine-Filled Social Interactions

The benefits of soaking up the health-enhancing substance of people-time

I remember a friend with a counselling background coming to visit a couple of years ago, and commenting on how healthy the social ways of the local Devon people were from a therapist’s perspective.

We’d go for walks in the town with Ginger the dog and I would stop and greet people I knew, some of whom were long-time acquaintances and others were dog-owners I’d met only in the couple of months since Ginger had come to live with me. Having a dog is good for meeting new people, and my friend commented on how socially uplifting it felt to wander along with me in my little town, with all these tiny but meaningful waves, smiles and exchanges.

She’s from London and she found a stark difference between the capital’s social norms of avoiding any eye contact, let alone any verbal greetings, to happen between strangers, and ours. With the Devonshire friendliness, the smiles and hellos between total strangers, and the direct conversations that happened between them too, it’s normal to be friendly and forthcoming here.

My friend explained that, from her counselling background, she’d grown to see and understand what a huge difference those face-to-face, seemingly superficial exchanges made, releasing powerful chemicals in the body that would not only keep general spirits high but would also have a dramatic effect on one’s physical health too.

Yesterday, one of our nearest villages, and the village where my eldest daughter works in the local pub, was throwing its annual country and sports show. There are various sporting contests throughout the afternoon including a race across thorny and boggy rough terrain. There are also welly-throwing contests (Wellington boots, or rubber boots, for those who don’t know English slang), egg-tossing contests, and the great bail-throwing contest.

It’s very…country. You’ve got to see it to believe it.

I called my dad up in the morning to see if he wanted to do something together for the national holiday, and suggested the show. He hadn’t been too well over the weekend and it was hard to gauge how keen he was. Still, I got him over to our house and then we drove up the steep hill to the show.

It’s been a strange summer for us all. We’re all more than ready for my sister’s family to move into their own place and it has felt more of a summer of just getting by and trying to keep our spirits up, than our usual laid-back experience. My dad has been the one putting some of the extra visitors up since mid-July and there have been some personality clashes which have worn on him.

Owing to circumstances, I don’t feel like I have spent much time seeing people in general. Just a select few, as I tend to do when life feels overwhelming.

Somehow, going to the show, I didn’t anticipate the number of people I would see that I knew. In past years, I have only been for the music in the evening, so I had no idea what the daytime would be like.

There were kids from my son’s class at school and their families — some of whom I have known for years. He was delighted.

There was my old neighbour from our last home, who gave me a big hug and threw some of his best jokes at me. There were also friends from my own little town who I haven’t seen in many weeks.

There was food — traditional Devon pasties and cakes. And there was even Pimms if you fancied a little tipple in the sunshine.

Initially, it felt like it could all be an overwhelming experience. But as the day wore on and we laughed and joked all the more, I saw my dad’s face transform from the worn and anxious look he had arrived with to one with colour and a sparkle in his eyes.

It had never occurred to me how healing an afternoon’s country show could be.

The Healing Power of People

Typically, I default to solitude when I am struggling — it feels healing, though it’s not always the best medicine.

Studies have shown that although spending time in our own company can help us to develop our inner strengths and get to know ourselves better, socialising is vital to human well-being.

One study concluded that coming together as a group for a specific purpose, such as working out, had mutual benefits for all members, including getting better and faster physical results, decreased stress levels, and better mental and physical health.

Another looked at the ripple effects of maintaining close friendships, in which support and trust come naturally when things feel tough, while yet another found that those partaking in regular social interactions tend to have lower blood pressure and maintain a healthy weight.

While loneliness and isolation lead to greater levels of cortisol — the stress hormone — connection and friendships stimulate the release of oxytocin, a hormone and neurotransmitter which is beneficial to our ability to trust in others. Touch is one of the ways it can be stimulated and it can even be released by merely high-fiving another.

An Evening to Top it Off

Back to the country show, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve only been to it for the music in the evening before.

Usually, there’s an excellent band that plays that are well-known in the area. They throw a traditional Ceilidh — a word that comes from Scottish village folk dance get-togethers that today describes any British gathering with set dances taught by a caller, involving mostly simple moves, a few complicated ones, plenty of potential of things going wrong, and much laughter.

There’s lots of partner swapping, meaning that you will end up holding hands with or getting even closer to complete strangers, and are trying to co-ordinate keeping the different moves within the right timing with a bunch of people you’d probably never dream of trying to dance spontaneously with anywhere other than at a ceilidh.

I’d not really had plans to go to the ceilidh this year since it wasn’t the usual band playing and I hadn’t arranged anything with any friends. That is until my daughter, whose evening session at the pub finished at 9 pm, said that she’d like to go and would I meet her there.

“Of course,” I said. I just needed to check that my younger daughter was happy to babysit my son first.

So that evening, at dinner, I mentioned that I wanted to go and meet A at the ceilidh. Before I’d managed to ask about the babysitting, I realised that my announcement led them to assume we were all going, and both my younger daughter and son were contemplating excitedly whether or not my son would be brave enough to dance.

And so it was settled. We were going together.

We headed up to the pub for 9 to save A the walk, and headed on to the ceilidh.

On arrival, my son still wasn’t sure if he would want to dance and A thought she might want a moment to sit and have a drink before dancing. But within moments of our arrival, as the next dance was about to be called, we dragged the reluctant members of our party onto the dance floor. And so began a couple of hours of high-energy hilarity and the accompanying physical workout.

The band was certainly nothing on the usual band, and the caller simply didn’t have the command of a good caller to help people understand what they were supposed to be doing, but none of that mattered.

The night was about getting together with people — strangers and friends alike — and having a damn good time. The most unlikely-looking people became the most enthusiastic, organising the groups and shouting orders that made our faces ache from laughing, and we all high-fived each other once the dance was over.

There were dances in which we got to partner dance with half the room, and other dances that were so physically demanding, with no chance to stop to catch our breath that we couldn’t help but feel totally and amazingly well worked-out.

My son’s reluctance to join in lasted merely a brief moment, and he thoroughly enjoyed the night.

Meanwhile, as a last ditch attempt to enjoy the lightheartedness of summer fun in a marquee under the moon and the stars, my kids and I indulged in some much-needed togetherness and some much appreciated dopamine and oxytocin release, helped along by a few strangers.

And I was reminded that, even when I don’t feel like it, or perhaps especially so, pushing myself to get out among people, both friends and strangers, can be exactly what my mind and body need.