You’ll Never Find Peace If You Keep Trying To Make Things “According To Your Plan”
Man Plans, God Laughs.
A few weeks ago, I just had a conversation with my aunt, who is quite a successful entrepreneur. She was giving me and my cousin advice about focusing on the present.
I was expressing my anxieties about my future because I was scared that what I’m doing now seems to be a little rusty and wasn't going according to my plan.
And this was what she told me, paraphrased:
Man plans, God laughs.
She literally told me to stop worrying and planning, because some plans would just derail. Sure, plans are great. It’s just that some of them will make you go through things that you never thought you’d do. Anything could happen unexpectedly.
We Are Always Told To Think About Our Future
You see a lot of these in self-help books. It’s always about the future. I’m sure you’ve heard these phrases:
“Don’t give up.” “Work hard on your dreams!” “Plan your life!” “Be consistent!”
If you open any self-help books, you’ll always find them. MLM seminars do this a lot, the hosts preach this a lot in nearly each of their sessions. Even schools would pressure students to think about their future and find out what they want to be in the working world. I’m sure your parents or family would say the same thing.
Everywhere you turn, people are always telling you to think about the future and plan it.
Now there is nothing wrong with planning and thinking about your future. It’s actually good so that you know what you want to do in the future instead of wandering around your life aimlessly, that’s why successful people always say to find your passion and make a plan on how to get there.
The problem arises when you get too obsessed with your future plans that when your plans derailed, you begin to panic.
We Are Too Focused On The Future And Overlook The Present
While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.
This was a quote from Leonardo Da Vinci. I was reading one of the novelizations of Assassin’s Creed when I was about 16 or 17, this quote was introduced when Leonardo Da Vinci was at his old age and dying, and he told this to the main character of the series, Ezio.
I was too naive to understand the quote so I dismissed the idea. But as I got older, this quote rang to me.
I’ve realized that we all want something that we don’t have and we are willing to do work hard for it, losing sleep and sacrificing our present (preached a lot in entrepreneurship). We all want to graduate, get a job we want, work on a business, and many other things.
In other words, we are willing to ‘die’ to have what we don’t have. We got too caught up to make things according to our plan that we missed the opportunity of being in the present.
We Are Taking Things For Granted Without Knowing It
“When that joy becomes an obsession, one becomes disconnected from life. Lost souls are obsessed by something that disconnects them from life.” — Moonwind, Soul 2020.
We are seriously living in the culture of thinking about what our future should be and no one would tell you how things may not go according to plan. And when it didn’t go as planned, we’d get anxious about trying to get it back on track and lose ourselves in that obsession. Thus, ignoring the present.
Most people don’t talk about the importance of focusing on the present. Yes, we know what we want to do for our future, but that doesn’t mean that we must get too caught up in it that we start ignoring what’s important in front of us.
Focus On The Present
“A spark isn’t a soul’s purpose. Oh, you mentors and your passions. Your purposes. Your meanings of life. So basic.” — Counselor Jerry B, Soul 2020.
I used to work at Louis Vuitton before, and that was one of my greatest opportunities that I took as a college student. In fact, working there is one of the reasons I became a writer. I was inspired to write about the company (without revealing the company’s secrets of course).
But what I regretted was not living the moment properly because, at that time, I was stressing between my thesis and working. I was not exactly enjoying it as much as I was supposed to because I was obsessed with just graduating. Now, I wish I could go back and relive that moment I worked there again.
I never thought I’d be a writer myself. So this is one of the biggest derails from my plans after the Louis Vuitton job (I hated fashion until I was accepted to the job).
Living In The Moment Is Therapeutic
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.” — Master Oogway, Kungfu Panda.
There is still beauty in the present that we often overlook, the moment we have with our family, the games we played with our friends, the movies we watched, and so much more.
Sure, we have a future to plan. But that doesn't mean we must beat up ourselves for not getting to where we wanted to be. That’s not respecting yourself.
You already have these actions planned out, and if there’s nothing more you can do about it, then just sit back and watch. Don’t worry how things will turn out later, you don’t even know if what you predict in your head could be true, that’s why some of our plans are often derailed.
Instead of worrying about what happens later, it’s best to reach back your happiness, your self-respect.
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban.
Sometimes, we don’t remember to turn on that light to happiness. We just overlook it because we are obsessed with something we are trying to get.
Being in the present is very therapeutic for our souls. It makes us appreciate what we have rather than looking beyond what we don’t have or what we’ve lost. We get so obsessed with trying to control the things we can’t control, thus, building anxiety itself.
Living in the moment also helps us be more self-aware. Where we are right now may have full of opportunities, we just might not see it because we keep trying to see beyond that, thus, making us miss that opportunity.
Our plans will also change in the end, but that’s okay. Sometimes it’s either for the best and allowing us to improvise to do better.
Allow yourself to celebrate even the small wins or milestones of your life. Little wins are the best way to help you live at the moment as well, you are giving yourself a pat on the back for doing the best you can already. Remember, respect yourself, you deserve it.
Some Plans Get Derailed For Something Better, That’s The Rule
Now if you are not a Christian or Catholic, it’s fine, but my aunt told me to let go of the things you can’t control and let God take over. This was the advice to me when she too had anxieties as I did.
My friend, who isn’t Christian or Catholic, said a similar thing as my aunt by saying,
“Life is funny, it’s like preparing you for the future that is never in your plans.
We sometimes get caught up with “what if” scenarios we made in our heads. Most of the things we thought about make us anxious about the outcome, but really, a lot of the “what if” situations we created in our mind rarely happens.
Psychology Today wrote that our thoughts don’t exist outside our minds. Our thoughts are not solid but we somehow made them look real because we are too focused on them. Thoughts appear in you and only to you.
So the fear that your plans will get derailed? Forget about it, some will eventually get derailed anyway.
Most successful people don’t talk much about how their plans didn’t go accordingly. The media made it look like they had everything under control, but really, these people didn’t even know how they even got to the place where they are now.
For example, Bob Iger, the former CEO of Disney, stated in his book that he never planned to become a leader of a huge entertainment company. In fact, he wrote that he planned to quit the company nearly twice. First from a bad leadership before he was promoted to become the leader of ABC TV, then the second time when Disney was at its lowest point in around 2000 (the era where Steve Jobs wanted to cut all ties with Disney). Yet, here he is, a CEO of Disney until the day he retired.
Steven Spielberg planned to enroll in the top universities of film school but ended up getting rejected by USC and UCLA. In other words, he created all these blockbuster movies such as Jaws and ET without a degree, ain't that a plan one would think of?
Sometimes, things just won’t go according to our plans. Your passion could change in the process, you are given another job, or there’s another opportunity that you love, it could be anything. Ultimately, everyone's plans will get derailed at some point.
It’s all the more reason that we should focus on our present and not get obsessed with the anxieties of ‘what if’s.
All In All, Respect Yourself Now
Jordan Peterson wrote in his book, 12 Rules For Life, about the importance of taking care of ourselves:
“What might my life look like if I were caring for myself properly?”
The person who knows that question is our present self.
You will be successful if you start taking care of yourself now. Let go of the past, and let go of the future that you are worried about, it’s neither good for you nor your future.
All in all, chase that dream. But don’t forget to live. Give yourself credits.