avatarKristi Keller

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You Will Be Too Much For Some People

Those aren’t your people

Photo by Randy Fath on Unsplash

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself over the last several years, it’s that I’m a little too much for some people. Although I’ve written about it from a humorous angle in the past, I know it’s also true in a unfunny way.

I’m not for everyone. And I’m perfectly fine with it.

It takes guts to admit you may not be everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, you might be a double shot of Fireball to some people. It’s quite possible you repel certain groups simply by being who you are, and you have to be okay with that.

Throughout life you’ll come across pods of people who feel repelled by you, and vice versa. You don’t have to bend into someone else’s shape if it goes against your own.

It takes way more balls to be yourself. It’s not our job to try and fit in with everyone, it’s our job to unapologetically be ourselves. The trick is to do it with grace because it’s also not our place to bulldoze others for being themselves.

Let’s use drugs as an example. Not once have I ever experimented nor even entertained the idea, even when presented with opportunities. In fact, I’m the most anti-drug person you’ll ever meet and I have no problem letting anyone know it.

If I find myself in the middle of a conversation that takes a turn toward drug use of any kind — yes, including marijuana — I have no problem walking away from the crowd and telling them to make better life choices.

I don’t expect anyone to know my boundaries, but I do respect my own boundaries and I have a zero tolerance policy.

You may not be religious yourself, but inevitably you’ll meet spreaders of the word along your path. They may or may not be for you and that’s okay. It’s highly possible and even likely that you could be friends with these people while sharing different beliefs.

Conversely, they may be too much for you because religion may intimidate you. If that’s the case, they are not your people.

You’ll meet constantly negative and pessimistic people when you have a positive aura surrounding you. Move along quickly because they are not for you. Don’t let them dim your light.

You’ll meet positive people who always present an optimistic point of view, but if you’re negative these won’t be your people. Pessimists and victims enjoy the space they occupy and rarely can they be coaxed out of it.

I have strong self esteem and a positive self image so I’m aware that those who need constant validation are not my people. This may sound cruel but as I mentioned in a previously written article, those who need my validation rarely get it because I don’t understand them.

I also have very clear cut standards for what I consider to be a good relationship. I’d rather be single than settle for less than what I want. When I meet people who always get railroaded by bad relationships, I can’t relate because I don’t allow it to happen to me. They are not my people.

You’ll meet politically charged people when you might rather not get involved. Move along if you’re not open to hearing it. They’ll be too much for you.

You’ll come across racially charged folks who aren’t open to hearing any side of the story except their own. Even though understanding from all sides is absolutely necessary in today’s world, sadly some will have zero willingness to understand your point of view.

By the very nature of your open mind, you will be too much for them.

You’ll definitely meet humans of different sexual orientations than yours. I think everyone should be friends with those people but unfortunately, not all people feel the same way.

Maybe you live a simple, clean lifestyle and will come across fancy, high maintenance people. You both cling to differing core values, therefore they may not be your people because you won’t understand each others’ fundamental values.

I could carry the list on for days but the simple fact remains that I’m not for everyone, and neither are you. Knowing this gives you a leg up in understanding different types of humans, and letting them be whatever they are.

Often times I read the stories of others and wonder how the hell they can behave a certain way or how they get through life with certain attitudes. Rather than argue I simply move on and let them have their moment because inevitably, they will find their people and I will find mine.

It’s not my job to convince anyone to change their mind or be a different way because I know they won’t. They may hear you but not actually listen.

If someone came along and told me to be more passive or less abrasive, I’d hear them but probably wouldn’t change. This is who I am.

As long as each of us has a base level of understanding and tolerance, it’s okay to walk away from anyone who doesn’t serve our own higher purpose. Just wish them well while you’re leaving.

If you enjoyed this story, here’s my non-intrusive way of ushering you toward my newsletter. When you subscribe, I’ll know you’re cool with hearing from me once in a while.

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