You Were

Summary

The text is a heartfelt reflection on a mentor's profound impact on the author's life, acknowledging the mentor's unwavering support and guidance through various life stages.

Abstract

The author recounts the significant role a mentor played in their life, from providing emotional support during times of uncertainty to practical assistance like securing employment and education opportunities. The mentor's patience, understanding, and proactive efforts to help the author navigate through personal and professional challenges are remembered with gratitude. Despite the author's past mistakes and moments of ingratitude, the mentor's influence is recognized as pivotal in shaping the author's resilience and success. The narrative concludes with an expression of deep appreciation for the mentor's unconditional support and the lasting impact they had on the author's life.

Opinions

The author initially had a sense of self-importance and naivety, believing they knew everything at a young age.
The mentor's rejection of the author's job application due to a perceived mismatch was a significant event that stayed with the author.
The author reflects on their growth and learning, particularly from the mentor, who they worked with in a role initially intended for working with children.
The mentor went above and beyond to ensure the author's well-being, even when it required them to interact with people they disliked.
The author acknowledges their own disrespectful behavior and realizes the mentor's efforts to protect and guide them through difficult situations.
The mentor's support was instrumental in the author's educational pursuits and personal development, including learning how to drive and dress appropriately for a professional environment.
The author regrets not expressing gratitude earlier and recognizes the pain their actions may have caused the mentor.
The mentor is seen as a mother figure, providing stability and care that the author lacked elsewhere in their life.
The author attributes their current state of being blessed, saved, and alive to the mentor's influence.

You Were

Mom when I was at my lowest, thinking I was all that I thought I knew everything but I guess that’s how we are at eighteen and some change, had my heart set on a part-time job there, that’s why you knew my name And you told me that my face didn’t match the string of letters Months later, I asked if the mismatch was something you regretted, I don’t even know if I remember what you said but I remember that I asked cause the thought was in my head.

You were there when I was walking everywhere, that January when I found the nerve to run for the first time, but surely not the last time Cold winter nights wearing two sets of clothes after track practice, job to job, that’s when I used to love the snow That’s when I used to love a man who I’d later learn I didn’t know.

You were patient when most people would have told me “It’s been real” and showed me to the door, supposed to work with kids but I think I was the one learning more than anybody else there, learning what to say, learning what to do, learning everything I didn’t know that I would learn from you.

You were there when my time was running out and I needed health insurance, and I had a phone I had to buy out and I didn’t know it then but I can see it now, the way you bent over backwards making sure that even if it meant you had to knock on office doors of people that you knew you didn’t like, you’d do it so I’d always have somewhere to sleep at night.

You were there when I graduated from pedestrian to bike, when my tires got slashed on Flint and you still made sure I had a ride from this job to another job and then a third job, always on the job. I learned it from the best when I saw how hard you tried, didn’t understand that you disappeared when you first walked inside because you never even had a chance to breathe, I was out of line, trying to find you before you found me.

You were the reason why I had my first full-time job, taught me how to dress, put in a good word with the boss, told me stories so I knew what I was getting myself into even before I walked through the double doors and into chaos. You were with me the first time that I went through a drive-thru…backwards, not noticing stop signs, my supervisor but you even taught me how to drive, I know it was scary cause friends told me when they rode with me they knew that they just might not make it home in one piece, home alive.

You were the reason why I could go back to school, a few degrees of separation but there was always somebody you knew, and I don’t know why I was the way I was or why I acted like I did because in truth you were the mom I wanted as a kid.

And we don’t talk anymore, my fault, because now I know just as well as you and Big Sean that “the road to hell was paved with good intentions.” Sometimes the impact of our actions is something sorry can’t erase, and I know the God you talked about now, but I’ll spend forever repenting for that handful of mistakes.

And I know I talked back, didn’t watch my mouth, disrespectful like I couldn’t see the way you got me out of every bad situation, every “would have been a problem,” I came in with all my issues, didn’t have to but you listened and resolved them, got me back in school when I couldn’t get my attitude in line, never ever should have been the reason that you were at work and crying.

And I guess that’s why now, I can’t keep quiet, wishing I could go back and open the mouth that sat beneath blind eyes and stayed silent. I said nothing and I guess that’s why now, everybody hears my mouth. I didn’t flip tables, now I lash out, I get angry, not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that you were right that time.

You were everything you didn’t have to be, going out of your way to do things you would never ask of me. Put life back into my spine when I barely had one, sat beside me helping me to tell somebody that I’d had enough, I know that you’d had more than your fair share of me, I look back at who you were and I know that’s why I turned out to be somebody when I could have been the next woman in a long line of wives feeling like all they could do was wait for their abusers to breathe their last and die.

I have so much to say and if this makes it to you, I just hope you know that who you were is every reason why I’m who I am now, blessed, saved, alive.

You were mom when you didn’t have to be.

You are every reason why.