You Were An Awful Wife And Your Husband Couldn’t Help But Cheat

Duh. What did you expect?

You had it coming. You were a terrible, terrible person and you deserved that your husband stepped out on you.

How could he not? If you had been better, then maybe he would have chosen to be faithful. If you hadn’t forced his hand, then he could have fulfilled his dying wish to be a faithful partner. If you weren’t so absolutely horrible, then he could have remained an honest person like he wanted to be.

If only… Barf.

The Other Woman’s Story Time

The mind of the other woman is fascinating to me. I have personally never been one so I can only understand it theoretically, but after having interviewed a few recently, things have become a bit more clear.

The women I spoke to had nearly the same script given to them by their married affair partners. (only two had a different one)

The Script: My wife doesn’t love me right and I was forced to get my needs met elsewhere. You are the only one that can help me feel love again.

These women, amazingly, had been duped by these men into thinking that they were saving them from a life of doom and gloom with a boring, unloving wife. That they would be The One that would finally show this man enough love to heal his pain. They felt like they were either saving them or they were being a living light in a dark world. At least I could show him what true love felt like for once in his life, even if he wasn’t with me in the end…

For every one rare story where this may be true, there are thousands where this is complete and utter BS. (though each one felt like they were the one-in-a-million in which their story was the true one)

And what do these wives get for it? They get told… What did you expect?

Even though the story likely wasn’t true. Even though it is doubtful they were anything like those things they were accused of, they still get this label by the other woman. The other woman is not even questioning it in their mind. They were sold this bill of goods so well.

The men were good at telling their stories.

*I didn’t interview any of the responders in this article below, but there were a few who answered the question. They didn’t have to admit to their status of the OW, and I appreciated the responses.*

Why Does This Story Work?

If you search in any search engine, this is one of the top stories that come up the most. It’s the old tried-and-true. Like these men were reading from the same page. Yet it works!

This dumb-ass story works on so many people.

Are these ladies idiots? Nope. Not one I talked to was an airhead or stupid in any clinical sense of the word. They were professionals and had good relationships with friends and family. They were between the ages of 28–41 and had children and careers. The only aspect they seemed to be vulnerable in was within their romantic lives.

The reason the story worked so well on them was because they were hopeful and were not on the lookout for the deception. They were longing for more. More of something. They described the men as loving and trustworthy and as friends as well as lovers. This is how it typically started-> as friendships.

How trustworthy can a married man that’s having an affair be?

The trap for this kind of relationship is set in the friendship stage. One boundary gets crossed. Then another. And another. Until… you’re in an affair.

It doesn’t matter if it is physical or emotional. An affair is an affair. A lot of women land in one without realizing how they systematically got there.

Why It Does Not Matter If The Wife “Had it coming”

For the Other Woman: If you are a woman who is thinking of having an affair with a man that tells this story, think twice -> triple -> quadruple, before believing them. While there is a slim chance they are telling some truths, you also know 100% that they are the kind of person who is willing to lie to their partner. So why wouldn’t they lie to you as well?

I get that the heart wants what it wants. That logic goes both ways. If that heart is fickle enough to stray, it will only learn the lesson that straying is the way to get what it wants. It’s a behavior that was positively reinforced.

Cheating got the man sex, attention, money, admiration, etc… Why would he not continue to do that? It was a ploy that worked for him in the past and will probably work in the future. On top of that, you are the next person in line to be set up as the wife that had it coming in the future.

You won’t deserve it anymore than the current wife does. Please find a way to extricate this man from your life and start fresh.

For the Wife: You didn’t cause his affair.

He is the master of his own actions and chooses to stray. He made the decisions every day of his affair to lie to you. To deceive you. To break the vow he made to you.

You didn’t make him to do that.

If he wanted to be out of the marriage he could have told you. If he wanted to sleep with another person he could have let you know before he did it.

You were robbed of the chance to make the decision for yourself whether to continue being in a relationship with a man who was pursuing other women.

If he is trying to convince you that you were the reason he left then he is saying that you are in control of his actions. He is claiming that he has no will of his own and he is persuadable. He is not maintaining that he is in charge of himself.

Who wants a man like that?

*Remember, this is written from the female side of things. I know there are many men out there that have been the other man or get cheated on. I have not spoken to any of them yet to write about it, but I would like to.*