You Need to Know These Four Life Truths

1. You need people to vouch for you.

You need people to vouch for you.

Networking is important. It will help you get your foot in the door. It will also help you get ahead once you are inside. Initially, you must work hard. As a junior employee, you need to prove to your supervisors that you want the job. This can mean different things depending on the company. You might have to show up early and only leave after your manager leaves for the day. You might also have to work on the weekend.

As you move up the corporate ladder, you must do more. It is not just about working hard.

There is a scene from the show Suits that I like. It goes like this. Mike Ross is preparing for his rookie law associate dinner. He gets frustrated while picking a venue for the event.

He asks, “Why does any of this matter?”

This is what Harvey Specter, his supervisor, says as a response:

“You see that guy over there by the fax?”

“He’s never gonna make partner.”

“He doesn’t get that doing good work isn’t the whole job.”

“Part of getting it is that things like the dinner actually matter even when you don’t think they do.”

Participating in company dinners and other social events is important because that is how you can meet powerful people. They can give you your big break. You can pay it forward by helping the next generation succeed.

The world is a messy web of social networks. You need people to like you and take you under their wing. This is how you can move up in society. The very concept of the self-made person is a myth. You need to either have money or access to money. If you have neither, then you will have a hard time.

“Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant.” — P. T. Barnum

“We had all this money. We just needed to enjoy it.”

This was what he said when his wife left him. It was a classic case of lifestyle creep. They were going to fancy restaurants and vacations around the world. Life was good. Then, they became acquainted with the different levels of fanciness. After going to their first fancy restaurant, they wanted more. They wanted to book reservations at three Michelin star dining establishments. They wanted personal chefs and butlers. The money dictated the relationship.

After a while, life became extremely materialistic. They did not healthily resolve arguments. They would run away from their problems by sweeping everything under a gold-plated rug. Then, they would buy something else to make them feel better about themselves. Eventually, everything came crashing down. Their marriage ended.

Money can help you do a lot of things in life. However, you must have something else inside. You must have a good foundation. Otherwise, you will become another person.

Every decision comes at a cost.

I want to tell you about a different couple. Don’t worry, this one has a happy ending.

He saw her across the dining hall in college and just knew. He knew that he had to say hi or else he would regret it for the rest of his life. He noticed a Lord of the Rings tattoo on her shoulder. That was his icebreaker. Now, they have a two-year-old daughter and another baby on the way.

They met and got married because they both decided to go to the same college. What if they didn’t? What if one or both decided to go somewhere else? Then, their lives would be completely different.

Every decision that we make has an explicit and implicit opportunity cost. We can map out the obvious risks of a decision by considering the pros and cons using simple T-charts. However, the unknown will always exist. There are hidden factors. These things are outside of our control. They just happen because of the natural randomness of the world.

You shouldn’t care about what others think because frankly, most people are not thinking about you.

We all have those moments. We might be lying awake at 3 in the morning. We can’t sleep so we think about life. We think about things that make us cringe.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I said that.”

“What was I thinking?”

“Foolish… so foolish.”

We were embarrassed back then when it was happening. We still shriek with embarrassment now, just thinking about the moment.

If it makes you feel any better, many people have these moments, and honestly, it’s not a big deal. You remember these moments because it is about you. Others might not recall because they are stuck in their own worlds. They are the protagonist in their life story, just like you are the protagonist in your life story. They may not notice what you say or do when it is irrelevant to their storyline. Therefore, do not overthink things.