You might be in end times if

You see on the news that Satan just started his very own line of tennis shoes. The reds and blues of political parties are scarier than gang colors. You spend several sleepless nights wondering what you did so wrong in that latest road rage incidence. You can't go to the gym because it can kill you. A person with crazy eyes gets duct taped into their seat next to you on a plane. There is a trampoline stuck in your tree after a storm, and you feel better when look over to see your neighbor has one in his tree also. Toilet paper has never looked so good sitting on a shelf. Kid’s all around you have their eyes just centimeters from a phone yet you hear no one say, “You are going to hurt your eyes!” or “Your eyes are going to stick like that!”. You go to a movie and watch two trailers beforehand of the movie that you are actually there to watch. The trailer of a movie shows literally the whole movie beginning to end but you are so hypnotized that you pay to see it at the theatre anyway. You pay monthly for a T.V. channel subscription and still have to pay to see a movie on that channel. Your pulse is the same during a breaking news story of a mass shooting as it is with a weather advisory. You change the breaking news story of a mass shooting to the weather because it’s boring you. They don't tell you to take your clothes off in the doctor's office anymore, they actually tell you to cover your face also. Colonoscopies are all the rage. Aliens are real but they are the least of the government's problems. Everyone is an author, and they are the only ones reading each other's stuff. They will only read your book if it has a ripped torso on it. It seems like archaeologists just stopped digging. You take your kid to a dinosaur exhibit and are confused where those dinosaurs with fur and weird feathers came from. You swear that they cannot be part of the exhibit, surely, they are from a parade float? Patience is not a virtue but a motive for murder. Instead of saying grace before they eat, a whole family starts taking pictures of the food on the table. Jesus has to text you to look up into the clouds to see him coming.