Meditation

You Know You Need to Meditate

But you will keep putting it off until you can’t anymore

It's been 2 years since a major traumatic event happened in my life. The man I was engaged to marry and hoped to build a future with wasn't the person I thought he was.

This shook my entire world and triggered a massive shift in my consciousness. I had an awakening of sorts, followed by the darkest dark night of the soul, and then came a void where it seemed like nothing was happening for me — it seemed the universe had crossed its hands and just watched me suffer.

During that time, I consumed so much information — it was overwhelming. Nobody was forcing this information on me, I went searching for them. I was addicted to learning everything there was to learn — to help me get through the dark night. I couldn't stop seeking. I’d go days without sleeping — I’d read and listen to podcasts for hours and watch spiritual videos on YouTube. It was kind of fun.

I was serious about changing my life. About fixing my mistakes and getting right with the Universe. I was serious about getting back on the right path and taking my power — which I had given away — back. I kept searching and looking for answers, and I didn't plan on quitting.

There was one information I kept hearing — meditation. I kept hearing that it was such a powerful tool and can help me connect to something greater and deeper than myself. From what the spiritual teachers were saying, meditation seemed like such a simple practice that could help me achieve so much power and all I needed to do was sit down and do nothing — I wanted in on it!

Meditation sounds Easy, but it is not

It sounded easy enough and I wanted to do it. But to my surprise, I tried and failed miserably. I kept trying and failed. Wait, what am I doing wrong? All I need to do is sit and do absolutely nothing, so why is this so difficult?

I was getting frustrated and needed to figure out why I couldn't sit still and quiet my mind. Who thought sitting still could be this hard.

My mind was to blame — my overactive mind! Ughhh! I would get frustrated and think why are you going so fast brain! Stop! But my mind seemed to not listen to me. My own mind is against me. Every time I sat down and tried to meditate, I would start having flashbacks of things I desperately wanted to forget. Things that would make me angry sometimes, sad. Why is my mind against me?

I needed to find answers and fast. Could there be something wrong with my mind? Why wouldn’t it stop thinking about stupid shit? Why is my mind fixed on angering me? OK. Forget it then, meditation is too hard — I can't do it. I stopped trying.

But I couldn't put it off anymore. Meditation wasn't easy to do at first. Whenever I sat down and got comfortable to meditate, I got distracted by something. My nose would itch and I’d scratch. Crossing my legs hurt, ouch! My back hurts — am I not sitting right? My spine has to be straight to allow energy to flow easily up and down, but it kinda hurt. My head would itch, I’d scratch, and I’d get distracted.

This isn't working. I try again later. But every time was the same thing — my mind wouldn't stop racing, my face would itch and I just couldn't focus. Meditation is hard. I can't do this. Who knew simply sitting still would be this hard? I gave up, but deep down I knew I'd have to figure it out and actually do it. But it never worked effectively.

Guided Meditations and Apps like Headspace helped a bit.

But I was still getting distracted every now and then. This went on for nearly 2 years. I was so far on in my spiritual journey I couldn't put it off anymore. I am following my purpose and sharing my experiences and lessons with the world so I couldn't make any more excuses. I had to meditate. I always had this nagging feeling that said you can do all these amazing things but you won't become the best version of you until you meditate and make it a habit. Meditate. Meditate. I kept on hearing.

I listen when my spirit speaks, so I will have to figure this out. I went to sleep the night before and set my intention that I would wake up early and meditate first thing. I woke up, said my prayers, grabbed some crystals and went on to my balcony.

The weather was beautiful. I laid a mat on the floor, sat down, crossed my legs and got in the meditative position. I put my crystals around me, observed my surroundings for a little while taking deep breaths. I closed my eyes and sat there. My mind began doing what it does the best: race. My leg hurt and my nose itch.

This time I did something different. When my mind started going all crazy, I simply observed it. I didn't try to stop the thoughts; I watched them as they came and left. My nose itched — I scratched and gently brought my attention back to me and my breathing without getting frustrated.

Meditation Changed my Life

It’s working. I am meditating! After 2 years it is working. I sat in meditation for about 20 minutes and got up. It was the best feeling ever. I did it. Even though my mind still raced and my face still itched, I sat through it without letting it frustrate me. I meditated everyday.

I noticed some things different about my life — about the way I felt. I was calmer and in tune with myself. Good things happened in small ways. The deposit I had been waiting on for days was in my account. The draft I submitted to my favorite publication was accepted after I had gotten rejected so many times.

I received a positive response to my cold email! Whoa! Did meditation have something to do with things coming easily to me! I found out I was attracting positive things because I released resistance while I was in meditation.

I felt so in tune with myself and connected to the universe. Since then, I have been meditating twice daily and it feels great. To observe my thoughts without attaching to them has changed my entire life.

More Ways Meditation Helped me

I have learned that I am not my thoughts and I can just observe and let them go. Meditation is changing my life. It has benefitted me physically, emotionally, mentally, energetically and spiritually.

It has helped me get in touch with myself on a much deeper level. Meditation is soothing for my nervous system and by calming my nervous system, I eat and sleep better at night. I think clearly and relax easily. I can keep up with my racing mind that would otherwise keep me up all night.

Meditation is training my mind to observe and let go of thought without attachment. I watch them come and go. Doing this, I find more tranquility in my life. I also find that I am happier and more peaceful throughout the day. I now understand why the buddha statues are always so calm and peaceful.

By observing my thoughts throughout the day, I release stress and negativity easily. Meditation is helping me keep things in perspective while giving me the space to look at the bigger picture. My mind is clear and my emotions are calmer.

I also find that I am more productive throughout my day. I set my intentions every night, write my to-do list for the next day and after my morning meditation, I am focused and ready to conquer the day! I can stay in the present moment and ignore all distractions. All of this has led to better decision making, increased productivity, improved awareness, clarity, and tranquility.

I am also more inspired, motivated and creative for sure. Writing flows easily. Ideas come effortlessly and the outcomes are always positive and uplifting. I am becoming a better person every day, although I still have a long way to go in my meditation journey — I am making progress and I am so proud.

Do you struggle to meditate? Well, you are not alone and you can keep putting it off all you want, but once your soul is ready to evolve, you cannot put it off any longer. And you will be happy when once you finally make it work. I promise.

Now I want to hear from you! Can you relate to any of this? Do you struggle to calm your mind and sit still in meditation?

Let me know your experience with meditation in the comments below.

Thank you for reading.