Summary

The article discusses the concept of emotional vulnerability and the metaphorical "nakedness" in close friendships, where individuals feel comfortable enough to reveal their true selves without judgment or pretense.

Abstract

The author of the article reflects on the idea that true friendship is characterized by the ability to be emotionally "naked" with each other, sharing vulnerabilities without fear of judgment. This metaphorical nakedness is akin to being physically naked, as it exposes one's true self, including flaws and scars. The author recounts personal experiences with both male and female friends, emphasizing the unique comfort and acceptance found in relationships where one can be authentic and unmasked. The article suggests that, much like the biblical story of Adam and Eve, society often seeks to cover up imperfections, but true intimacy in friendships is achieved when masks are removed, allowing for genuine connection and support.

Opinions

The author values the authenticity and acceptance found in friendships where vulnerability is embraced.
There is a critique of societal expectations to conceal imperfections, with the author advocating for the opposite approach in personal relationships.
The author believes that makeup serves as a metaphorical mask, representing the facades people present to the world, and that true friends accept each other without these masks.
The article implies that emotional vulnerability ("nakedness") is a form of liberation and is essential for deep, meaningful friendships.
The author distinguishes between the competitive nature they perceive in female relationships and the ease of being around male friends, though this is a personal perspective and may not apply universally.
The author suggests that scheduling and societal pressures can create barriers to authentic connection, and that true friends prioritize the relationship over these external factors.

You Know We’re Friends When We Show Up Naked

And are comfortable around each other

Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.

― Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter Geraldine

My college Theatre professor told us:

Imagine your audience naked.

It was an effort to reduce our nervousness and bring our audience down-to-size, to make them less threatening and make us more comfortable.

Because when we are naked we are vulnerable.

We have no mask to wear, no covering to insulate us from revealing who we are. Scars are laid bare for others to see, stick their finger into…

Scars always exist, and sometimes we choose to share them for impact, but most of the time we cover them up. Or, at least we try.

To show our scars is to operate without a safety net.

I’ve always had guys as best friends. From as early as I can remember, I didn’t have to pretend to be a different person around a group of guys. They just accepted me for who I was. I could say what was on my mind and got the feeling they reciprocated in like-kind.

Today my husband says they just wanted to get in my pants.

Maybe that was their goal or maybe it wasn’t.

I remember sitting up all night talking with guy friends. We talked about life, psychology, going off to college, and anything else that came to our impressionable high school minds.

Females are confusing to me. I find them competitive, caddy, and generally unfriendly.

I don’t have many good female friends, but of them, the ones I covet most are the ones I can be naked around and be unaffected by revealing my scars.

Two of my dear girlfriends are Cori-Leigh and Caroline DePalatis.

This week both of them saw me naked.

That is to say, they saw me without makeup.

Makeup is my mask to show myself to the world.

I wear it for me.

I don’t go all out on the latest trends because I have a teenage daughter who keeps me up-to-date on the latest styles. Most days, I splash on a little concealer, foundation, and color to make myself presentable to the world.

It’s a mask that allows me to feel confident around others I may not otherwise be comfortable around.

Cori is dear. We often have calls at odd times because of our individual workflow and time difference. Prettiness is inopportune. We show up as we are. I felt bad that she searched to find a brush before our last call. I didn’t bother with the brush.

I showed up without having used a hairbrush and in my jammies.

Caroline and I squeezed a call in a very tight scheduling window because we needed to talk, and had an itty bitty amount of time right after my workout. I showed up sweaty, breathless, without makeup, and not having showered for the day.

If we had waited to be pretty, we’d still be trying to get on each other’s schedules.

When I show up naked I show up vulnerable:

no masks
no pretenses
no pretending
as I am
real

VULNERABLE.

Nakedness is next to godliness.

Some say it is a self-righteous and egotistical display.

Biblically, as Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened they became self-conscious and aware.

Genesis 3:7:

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

They sought masks, coverings.

But, I suggest the opposite.

Best friends show up naked.

My girlfriends know we’re tight when I show up without makeup, in my jammies, usually after tucking my youngest daughter into bed.

I show up naked.

Special friends who attend may not have never known our level of intimacy until now.

In what circumstances do you show up naked?