You Ingrates Are Making Everyone Selfish

People are becoming selfish because of ingratitude

Nobody appreciates an ingrate. You know, the person who disregards kindness and support. You rescue them whiles they are drowning. They just dry themselves up and walk away as if nothing happened.

Such people, you wonder if they have the worst form of dementia.

People put an awful lot on the line — their lives, reputation, money — to pluck others out of their predicaments. But what do they usually get back? A thank you? Maybe. But usually, they receive nothing. Simply nothing.

Expectations produce disappointments. We all know that. Volumes of books have been written about the relationship between our expectations and happiness. I strive to keep my expectations of people at reasonable and healthy levels. After all, this quote from the late American poet, novelist, and short-story writer, Sylvia Plath, preaches it best, “if you expect nothing from somebody, you are never disappointed”.

The problem remains, albeit that even with awareness and practice of reasonable and healthy expectations, we still sometimes get caught in the boobie traps of ingrates. We occasionally become overwhelmed by our experiences with them. Ingrates hit our buttons. We become livid. We sometimes feel unwitty and exploited because of them.

I’m sure you have more than a few personal experiences with ingrates.

Humans can be ingrates. Surprised? I didn’t think so.

We expect ingratitude from people. That is a given. What we’ve overlooked is the subliminal effects ingrates are having on us.

An ingrate’s behaviour is disconcerting. Do you remember how you couldn’t stop thinking about their disturbing attitude in your personal experiences with them? Did you stew with negative emotions — maybe anger? Were you disappointed? Did you feel belittled and cheated?

You probably thought you put that horrible experience behind you and moved on with your day. Well, I’m inclined to believe you didn’t. That unpleasant experience with that ingrate may have done more to you than just upsetting you. It shaped your thought and outlook on people, especially people fitting the profile of that ingrate, and unfortunately the needy and the poor. Those who could genuinely use your generosity and kindness.

My attention recently was drawn to how ingrates and their obnoxious traits are affecting many negatively. Turning them into horrible people much like ingrates themselves.

Recently, I went out with some friends. Our fun night turned into heart-wrenching confessions. Confessions about how too many experiences with ingrates are turning them into “selfish” people.

They revealed how less generous they’ve become. Each explained how rarely they assist others, especially strangers. They have little motivation to take risks — of any kind — for others outside their inner circle.

Hearing them, their awful experiences with ingrates resonated with a few personal experiences. But intriguing to me was their honesty in sharing how those experiences have changed them.

At first, it surprised me to hear them defending selfishness and aloofness. I was stunned by how comfortable there were with not giving a f**k about people. Their newly formed disposition surprised me. With a tinge of resentment and hurt, they continued to share. One spurt out “I’ll stand and watch people suffer, even die without moving a limb to help”. This one caught me off-balance.

My friends chalk up their new disposition to unpleasant experiences with ingrates. People who took advantage of their kindness and generosity. People who gave no dime about their efforts and contributions.

As our conversation advanced, the air around me became thin. They share more stories of unpleasant experiences with ingrates. If I’m honest, a picture of a night out with a few friends looked completely different from this.

Listening to my friends and their unpleasant experiences with ingrates, I began to reason about their chosen disposition. I could understand their justifications for their new abrasive attitude and mindset towards people and life.

From the exchange that night, I derived that “more people are becoming selfish”. And ingrates are the cause.

People are becoming self-centred and desensitized because of ingrates. And that, unfortunately, stinks for everyone. Especially for people in predicaments who could use a helping hand. There are grateful hearts out there who could use some generosity and kindness. But many hearts already are being turned cold by ingrates.

Ingrates are reducing the good odds of people finding a heart not yet turned cold by awful experiences with ingrates.

I’m afraid of the future of humanity. I’m afraid to imagine a world where everyone’s heart became cold and desensitized because of unpleasant experiences with ingrates.

Just imagine this — becoming the very thing you abhor.

I pray such a world doesn’t take form. I hope we can all safeguard our hearts from being infested by these ingrates.

There are many grateful hearts out there who need a saviour.

You are their saviour. Please don’t go cold turkey on them.

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