Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding one's personal goals and values to achieve true success and fulfillment, rather than comparing oneself to others running different 'races' in life.

Abstract

The author uses the metaphor of track and field races to illustrate that individuals have unique paths and objectives in life, much like runners specialize in different events. Comparing oneself to others who are pursuing different goals is as futile as a miler comparing their times to a sprinter. The article argues that without a clear understanding of one's own desires and values, a person may chase after the wrong achievements, leading to confusion and dissatisfaction. It highlights the significance of self-assessment in defining realistic goals and measuring personal success. The author shares a personal anecdote about choosing a job that offered less pay but aligned with his values, leading to greater happiness and work-life balance, and how this decision recalibrated his perspective on what constitutes success.

Opinions

Comparing oneself to others with different goals is unproductive and can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Understanding the type of 'race' one is running in life is crucial to setting appropriate goals and achieving fulfillment.
Success is subjective and should be measured on personal terms rather than external standards.
Self-awareness is key to making life decisions that align with one's values and desired lifestyle.
Achieving a balance between professional ambitions and personal life is an important aspect of success for many people.
The pursuit of material wealth or status symbols, such as an impressive home, may come at the cost of personal sacrifices that not everyone is willing to make.

You Have to Know Who You Are to Know What You Really Want

What race are you running?

Imagine that you’re a runner who competes in the mile race.

You’re ambitious and want to compete in the Olympics one day. You train hard, eat right, and get proper rest. You want to be the best mile runner in the world.

If that were the case, would you compare your times to someone that runs the 100-meter dash?

Of course not.

Why not? From the outside, it may appear that you’re similar — you’re both runners; you both want to run in the Olympics; hell, you both wear track shoes — but it’s clearly ridiculous.

The world record in the 100 meters is 9.58 seconds (Usain Bolt) while the world record in the mile is 3 minutes and 43.13 seconds (Hicham El Guerrouj).

They’re both world records, but Bolt’s time is more than twenty-three times faster than El Guerrouj’s, so is he twenty-three times better? Conversely, a mile is about 1,609.34 meters, meaning that El Guerrouj ran over sixteen times longer than Bolt — does that make his record sixteen times more impressive?

Bolt and El Guerrouj are both runners but they’re running two different types of races with two different finish lines. Even the way they run is incompatible.

There are all kinds of different races, from sprints to marathons to hurdles, and everything in between. There’s even a summer biathlon that combines a 5K run with rifle marksmanship. That’s a completely unique event.

If Bolt and El Guerrouj failed to realize what type of runner each was and what race they were running, they may feel tempted to compare themselves to the other and feel like an abject failure as a result.

The same is true of us.

It’s easy for us to compare ourselves to others and, as a result, despair at what we don’t have or haven’t achieved. But we have to careful to note that not everyone is running the same race and different runners have different goals and objectives.

If you don’t know what kind of runner you are and what type of race you’re running — in other words, if you don’t know what you want and what you truly value — how can you measure success? What is a realistic goal?

This takes self-assessment and self-awareness. If you don’t know yourself, you’re liable to run the fastest hundred meters of a mile-long race and wonder why you’re confused and unfulfilled.

There was a time when I thought of myself one way — I thought I wanted a certain kind of job, a certain kind of social circle, a certain kind of life— but fortunately realized I was different. As a result, I had to reassess what I wanted and what I would (and would not) do to get it.

Some days on my walk, I pass by my dream house. It’s modern and overlooks a country club. It’s the type of house that the antihero of a slick crime movie would call home. I slow my strides as I pass it and imagine living there. I look it up on Zillow. I’m in love with it.

Robert DeNiro as Neil McCauley in “Heat” (1995)

But, from what I can tell, they’re rarely home. I imagine the owners of that house had to forego a lot of things to afford it.

I often ask myself, “Do I want to do what they did — and sacrifice what they sacrificed — to have what they have?” The answer is invariably no. Otherwise, I would have done that.

In fact, I did the opposite.

I took a job that was below my market value and it was the best career decision of my life. I was weighing a few offers and one had me traveling around the globe much of the year. My passport has one lonely stamp in it, so this would’ve been a new experience for me. It would’ve been awesome if I were 23 years old, but I was 37 with a kid and another on the way. So I took the one that paid the least and it made me the happiest I’d ever been professionally.

Also, it recalibrated everything else. I never miss a birthday or a holiday or a performance. I’m there for breakfast and dinner every day. I’ve been in the office at midnight and on weekends with people that live for that and are clawing their way up the corporate food chain. Those are the types of people that get those types of houses. I have a fine house with a lovely yard and I’ve come to appreciate that it’s enough for me.

If you keep chasing things that aren’t right for you, you’ll never be happy or fulfilled no matter how successful other people think you are because you aren’t successful on your terms.

So ask yourself: what race are you running?

Christopher Pierznik is the worst-selling author of nine books. Check out more of his writing at his own site. His work has appeared on XXL, Cuepoint, Business Insider, The Cauldron, Fatherly, Hip Hop Golden Age, and many more. Connect with him on Facebook.