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Abstract

woman on horseback shouts at the dog, getting her oar in first. Unfortunately, the dog’s response is more verbose than expected, and the horse misses his footing. As I watch the scene from along the street, the rider almost topples onto the road.The most emotionally intelligent among us use the choice point wisely. The moment after an event, whether receiving criticism, witnessing a catastrophe, or another incident requiring consideration, the people with high EI pause to consider what to do for the best.Those with healthy emotional intelligence also think about what might happen, basing their expectations on what’s happened previously and bearing in mind what occurs in the present.The dog along the street barks, and I go to a window to see why. The same woman on horseback, as per usual, incites the animal, waving her riding crop and, leaning toward the snaps and woofs, also barks like a mad canine.Of course, the horse misses his footing and almost sends the woman hurtling to the asphalt. I sigh and return to my desk while the hubbub continues.Choice points are magical openings in which you have the power to turn events around. You can’t change what’s happened. But you can alter what happens next. Rather than incite a quarrel, you can show empathy and get someone on your side because they see you’re on theirs.From the choice point, you can decide not to down another glass of wine when you are a designated driver. Similarly, you can choose not to overeat or stay friends with a so-called pal who is a repetitive liar.You can talk calmly to the driver who wedges his lorry between

Options

your house and a neighbor’s abode, so you don’t stress him further and provoke damage to your home.In the choice point, time runs slowly, allowing you to weigh options. So, you realize you can take a shortcut at night and get home early. Or alternatively, you can go the long way around and arrive later, but be safer.It’s 11 am, and, coffee cup in hand, I glance out the window on the way to my desk, expecting the usual commotion. Instead, two riders round the corner this time, and the unfamiliar individual hops off his horse and instructs the woman to do likewise.They approach the yard with calm confidence. The dog’s hackles rise. He groans and yips.“Good boy,” says the man, smoothing his horse with confident strokes, and the woman mirrors him, patting her mare and speaking softly to the dog. On this occasion, there’s no barking or growling. Instead, the horses stroll by quietly, the dog remains calm, and I smile.If you are mindful and practice recognizing the choice point in each situation, you’ll discover you have more control over what happens to you. And even when you can’t make events and people do what you consider best, you can rest assured that you do what’s most helpful in any given circumstance. As a result, your emotional intelligence will grow along with your ability to empathize and improve your well-being.Don’t want to miss new stories? <a href="https://bridgetwebber.medium.com/membership">Click here</a> to join Medium. Your membership fee directly supports Bridget Webber and other writers you read. You’ll also get full access to every story on Medium.</article></body>

You Have High Emotional Intelligence If You Recognize the Choice Point

It’s the magical moment when you can change your future

There’s a choice point, a moment, between experiencing emotions and taking action. You can select what you want to do at such a time, crafting your responses in helpful ways. However, only people with an excellent emotional intelligence quotient recognize the gap in which they can steer their lives in favorable directions.

It is that time of morning when the hot-under-the-collar lady on horseback passes the yard where the dog barks. The approaching clip-clop of hooves ignites a frenzy of growls and yelps.

The woman cries blue murder; as usual, her horse misses his footing, and she almost topples onto the road. I watch the familiar scene from along the street.

Emotional intelligence is often overlooked because people learn to judge intellect in easier-to-measure, familiar ways considering elements like spatial ability and math comprehension.

But it’s at the crux of empathy and self-understanding. Without a healthy EIQ (emotional intelligence quotient), even when they have a standard high IQ (intelligence quotient), people lack discerning self-regulation and the capacity to connect with others deeply.

Today, the woman on horseback shouts at the dog, getting her oar in first. Unfortunately, the dog’s response is more verbose than expected, and the horse misses his footing. As I watch the scene from along the street, the rider almost topples onto the road.

The most emotionally intelligent among us use the choice point wisely. The moment after an event, whether receiving criticism, witnessing a catastrophe, or another incident requiring consideration, the people with high EI pause to consider what to do for the best.

Those with healthy emotional intelligence also think about what might happen, basing their expectations on what’s happened previously and bearing in mind what occurs in the present.

The dog along the street barks, and I go to a window to see why. The same woman on horseback, as per usual, incites the animal, waving her riding crop and, leaning toward the snaps and woofs, also barks like a mad canine.

Of course, the horse misses his footing and almost sends the woman hurtling to the asphalt. I sigh and return to my desk while the hubbub continues.

Choice points are magical openings in which you have the power to turn events around. You can’t change what’s happened. But you can alter what happens next. Rather than incite a quarrel, you can show empathy and get someone on your side because they see you’re on theirs.

From the choice point, you can decide not to down another glass of wine when you are a designated driver. Similarly, you can choose not to overeat or stay friends with a so-called pal who is a repetitive liar.

You can talk calmly to the driver who wedges his lorry between your house and a neighbor’s abode, so you don’t stress him further and provoke damage to your home.

In the choice point, time runs slowly, allowing you to weigh options. So, you realize you can take a shortcut at night and get home early. Or alternatively, you can go the long way around and arrive later, but be safer.

It’s 11 am, and, coffee cup in hand, I glance out the window on the way to my desk, expecting the usual commotion. Instead, two riders round the corner this time, and the unfamiliar individual hops off his horse and instructs the woman to do likewise.

They approach the yard with calm confidence. The dog’s hackles rise. He groans and yips.

“Good boy,” says the man, smoothing his horse with confident strokes, and the woman mirrors him, patting her mare and speaking softly to the dog. On this occasion, there’s no barking or growling. Instead, the horses stroll by quietly, the dog remains calm, and I smile.

If you are mindful and practice recognizing the choice point in each situation, you’ll discover you have more control over what happens to you. And even when you can’t make events and people do what you consider best, you can rest assured that you do what’s most helpful in any given circumstance. As a result, your emotional intelligence will grow along with your ability to empathize and improve your well-being.

Don’t want to miss new stories? Click here to join Medium. Your membership fee directly supports Bridget Webber and other writers you read. You’ll also get full access to every story on Medium.