Dark Poetry | Essay
You Give Love, They Take Control — Endless Hunger
Be careful, narcissists don’t exchange love for love
In the cold grasp of a narcissist’s hands, A gentle heart seeks a love that never stands. Thinking, perhaps, with kindness, it could break The iron walls, for both their sakes.
But love falls on deaf ears, unreturned, The narcissist’s hunger is always unearned. A puppet, a plaything, is all that’s desired, Not love, but obedience, ever required.
There is no true love in the mirror’s gaze, Only a twisted heart, set ablaze. In a world that should be warm and sweet, Only the bitter taste of deceit.
The narcissist stands like a darkening cloud, Covering the sun, casting a shroud. And in their shadow, a heart slowly withers, While the narcissist feasts, the puppet delivers.
Unseen, unloved, in their cold embrace, The puppet’s heart withers in this fruitless chase. For there is no warmth in a narcissist’s touch, Just an endless hunger, that takes so much.
When we love, we hope. We hope to be loved back, to be cherished, to be valued. For many, this love is returned and celebrated. However, in some cases, love can be a one-way street. One such situation is when loving a narcissist.
Before I share my story, let me make one thing clear:
Loving a narcissist doesn’t make them love you more. Instead, it makes them use you more.
For those who don’t know, narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of their importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In their world, everything revolves around them. They are the center, and others are just extras in their play.
Before I understood the true nature of narcissism, I thought love could change anything. I believed in the age-old saying:
‘there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving’.
So I gave. I gave my time, my love, my emotional energy, and even my money. I felt that by giving him everything I could, he would see my love and appreciate it. But I was mistaken.
In the beginning, he showered me with attention. He would tell me stories of his dreams, his aspirations, and how he needed someone like me to complete him. I felt special, chosen, and destined to be with him.
Little did I know, this was a typical narcissistic tactic: to lure someone into their web.
As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I noticed a pattern. The more I gave, the more he demanded. My gifts, sacrifices, and gestures were never enough. He always wanted more. His needs seemed to grow, and it felt like I was feeding a never-ending abyss of desires.
If I ever didn’t do what he wanted, he would react childishly. He’d throw tantrums or use the cruel weapon of the silent treatment. In those moments, I’d feel worthless. I questioned my worth, my love, and my purpose.
But why did I continue to give even when it was evident he wouldn’t appreciate it?
The answer is a complicated mix of hope, love, and the illusions that narcissists make. They are masters of manipulation. They can twist any situation to seem like it’s your fault.
They can make you feel guilty for not giving enough even when you’ve given everything. It’s a vicious cycle. You give, they take, you feel drained, they demand more, and the loop continues.
It took me time to realize the reality. I was emotionally drained, and financially too. My savings were depleting, trying to cater to his ever-growing demands.
All the while, I held onto the belief that one day he’d see the depth of my love and reciprocate it. But narcissists don’t want your love; they want your obedience.
Breaking free from such a relationship is not easy. The emotional and mental scars remain for a long time. The realization that someone you loved could exploit you so deeply is heart-wrenching.
So for me, if a relationship feels wrong, it probably is. Recognize your worth and don’t be afraid to walk away. Because true love will never ask you to lose yourself. It will only help you find who you really are.
Bella loves to write about life, psychology, and relationships. Click here to receive an email that guarantees you’ll get Bella’s newest stories delivered straight to your inbox.