You Fall in Love 3 Times in Your Life

Here is what you learn each time

Love is a b**ch. No matter how hard you try not to fall for it or how hard you try to run away from it, it will find a way in your life. It will enrich your life but give you lemons before that.

A study says that an average person falls in love at least 3 times in their life and every time it teaches a different lesson.

1 — First Love or Infatuation

First love happens when you are quite young in your life. You happen to see someone and it gives butterflies in your stomach. You see this person and you just want to keep them all the time.

You may or may not express your feelings to them as you’re in your early teens. As this is your first time feeling this, you want it to last forever. Hence, you may think that this is what love is.

But after some time, you may even discard this feeling. You may look back and think how naïve you were to think about it as love.

But in a way, it was your first love.

I still remember my first love similarly. I was in my early teens and there was one girl in my school whom I liked. I was in love with the idea of her. But never dared to express myself.

Over a period of time, everything faded and I wasn’t willing to accept that she was my childhood crush.

2 — Second Love or Hard Love

This is the one that I called B**ch in the beginning. This is a modified version of First Love. You find this Love when you’re in your late teenage or early twenties. You are going through hormonal changes which leads to attraction to the opposite sex.

This releases a chemical called ‘Dopamine’ in your brain which makes you addicted to this feeling or the person. You believe this to be the true love of your life. You want to end up with the person somehow and make a lot of effort in this love.

Unfortunately, this is the type of Love which teaches you a lot of lessons. It brings a lot of pain, betrayal, lies, and drama into your life.

The Hard Love brings you closer to what you want in your life. While going through this part of your life you will curse yourself at every moment. But soon you will get over it and become stronger and grow. It also teaches you the difference between good partners and bad partners.

I was in college when I fell in love again with a girl. It was a pure attraction that turned to infatuation and then to love. I would always be around this girl in college and talk on the phone for hours after college was over.

When I confessed my love for her, she ignored it saying she had no idea about it. But I was in La La Land. Even after ignorance, I continued going out of the way for her to win her heart.

I confessed my love for her a second time but she still wasn’t willing to listen. I was mad behind this girl and she didn’t give a fu*k. That is when the reality struck me.

This girl spread lies in college and then there was a lot of drama. From wanting to see her face every moment to seeing her every moment in college, my pain was unbearable for me.

Even after everything was over I was holding onto it. It took time for me to get over it but boy it taught me lessons.

3 — Third Love or The Love that stays

This is the type of Love that finds you at a time when you’re not expecting it or when you’re not looking for it. You don’t have to go searching for this love with a candle.

No matter what you do, this love will find you. This love is the real love and you realize that your entire life, whatever books and movies fed you about love was not real. This love is nothing like you dreamed about nor does it follow any rules.

You are comfortable being you in this love. You will find the beauty in the imperfections of your partner and will still deeply love them every single moment. This is the love that stays.

After I was over my second love, I wasn’t looking for anything. I was enjoying my life to the fullest. That is when out of nowhere I fell for a girl again. There wasn’t any intention of falling for her.

She became my girlfriend and both of us came to Canada for further studies. We stayed in a long-distance relationship for a year and then moved in together and she is now my wife.

I didn’t dream about this love nor did I get any unrealistic fantasies about this love. Both of us are comfortable doing nothing together and understand each other. Both of us love each other for what we are.

I admit that this love is nothing like I thought love would be but every bit of it is real.

The Second Love can also prove to be unhealthy

But you can’t find the third love of your life if you don’t learn lessons from your second love. You might know someone in your life who keeps on getting in and out of relationships.

That’s because this person is stuck in a loop of second love. This person can also be you. You keep repeating the same issue over and over again. Each time when you get into a new relationship you believe that it will be different but when it ends, you’re in a worse situation.

Hence, it can become unhealthy. So, it’s important to learn your lessons each time a relationship ends.

When did you find the love of your life? Was it the first time or the 19th time?