You Fail Because You Fear Success

Success is up to us, and that’s why we’re scared of it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” — Marianne Williamson

I think most of us know deep down that know we are capable, that what we want is possible, that we have this power within us. I also believe deep down we know that we aren’t doing enough to reach those dreams and goals we want for ourselves.

And that’s the problem, isn’t it?

We know we are capable, we know we don’t do anything about that capability, and it scares the living crap out of us.

Success is scary because it’s possible.

There’s a special, relieving magic we feel during those moments when we know that we “did all we could”, that it was “out of our hands”, that “there was nothing we could do about it”.

When these things are true, even if we didn’t like the outcome, it’s relieving.

It’s relieving to think that an unintended outcome you’ve reached had nothing to do with you. It’s relieving to think that you “did your part”.

With success, with dream-chasing, with following your passion, things are different.

We find comfort knowing there are things we can’t control, but success is controllable.

Success is up to us, so it feels uncomfortable.

Success is possible, so it feels uncomfortable.

If the goal was impossible or out of our hands, we wouldn’t fear it.

On one level we fear it because of the work it would take. On a deeper level, we fear it because the outcome is in our hands even though we act like it isn’t.

It’s easier to blame the success we don’t reach on the success itself.

It’s easy to chalk our dreams up to being “unrealistic”, “impractical”, “impossible”. It makes us feel good about the piss-poor effort we put towards reaching it.

Why are we okay with dreaming? Why are we okay with talking about our dreams and leaving them at that?

But we aren’t? Are we?

We aren’t okay with it, and that’s what makes things worse. So where does that leave us?

We have a dream that lights our souls on fire. We have a dream that makes us feel alive when we think of it. We have a dream that makes that smile creep along the corners of the mouth. We have a dream that makes us feel special in a world of dullness— extraordinary in a world of ordinary. We have a dream that makes us feel like we have a purpose in a world full of people scrambling to find the point of it all. This same dream that makes us feel alive is the same dream that haunts us at night. We love to talk about it, think about it especially, but your dream wants more. Hell, you want more.

You and your dream want this thing to become a reality because you know that technically, it is possible with the right effort.

But it’s hard to put in the work, isn’t it? The bigger the dream, the harder the work, the more you have to sacrifice other things in your life — and your dream is big, isn’t it?

You can’t take the heat. We start lying to ourselves to make ourselves feel better.

That’s where all of these weak mindsets are coming from: the same mindsets that tell you to “focus on your strengths”, the mindsets that tell you to “do what’s normal”, the mindset that questions your worth or capability or potential, the mindset that tells you that you shouldn’t want more.

Yeah, to hell with that.

You should want more, so much more.

You do not fear failing. You fear succeeding. You fear your goals because success is possible. You fear success because the decision on whether or not your dreams will be actualized is left entirely up to you, and you suck at decisions. You suck at doing the necessary work. You’re aware that if you could just get yourself to be consistent, to preserve, to be resilient, to put in that work no matter the cost, that you will succeed. That’s literally all it takes, but it’s easier said than done, isn’t it? The same way that it’s easier to talk about your dreams than actually achieve them?

You know all of this.

Then again, if you say you know this but don’t do anything about it, do you really know?

It’s a good question to think about, but it also doesn’t really matter.

What matters is what the hell you are going to do about it. Whether you truly know this or not, you at least are aware of the problem. So fix it.

You are capable of having so much more if you would just put your mind, soul, and body toward it.

You may have to move a couple of mountains, and it will suck at the moment, but at least it’s a couple.

At least you would have something to show for it. At least this is something you want to do, isn’t it?

The world is a genius at giving us things we don’t want or need, so hold on to those things that truly make you feel alive and worthy of such a life.

You know you are capable, but you aren’t doing the work. You know that it’s possible, but you aren’t doing the work.

Your ignorance is what you fear.

It’s time to seize the reins.

It’s time to take action.

It’s time to get over that fear.

What I don’t want for you is this:

You may convince yourself that you are doing enough or that your dreams are impossible. We all know that that’s B.S., but you may do it anyway. Your dreams simultaneously pleasure you and haunt you. You might just convince yourself of your false incapability all the way until your deathbed, avoiding the ghost of your dreams all your life.

But death is the eye-opener.

If you don’t recognize now that all the crap you’ve told yourself now is crap…let me rephrase:

If you don’t admit to yourself that all the crap you’ve told yourself is crap, then it is on the deathbed that you will finally confess.

The problem is that waiting until the end makes your confession useless. What good is it to recognize the problem when you are too late? When you won’t have another chance?

I don’t want this for you. I want you to attack this life and give it everything you’ve got. As cruel as the world can be, it can also be full of beauty and fulfillment.

It’s most certainly full of as much hope and potential as it is of self-hate and self-doubt.

I’m not telling you to focus on the bad. Acknowledge it. Know that it’s there, but also know that you have a say on if it remains there or not.

Craft the life you want for yourself.

Stop running away from the dreams you believe in. Chase them.

Your dream just may surprise you with how achievable it really is.