You Don’t Need to Understand Why Someone Loves You

You’ll never see yourself through their eyes

I don’t think we’ll ever truly understand what it’s like for other people to love us — we can’t see ourselves through their eyes.

So no, it doesn’t make sense to you why someone would look at you like that, why they would want to spend all this time with you when to yourself, you’re not all that interesting. Even if you enjoy your own company, even if you make yourself laugh and you know at the end of the day, you’d have the back of any person you care about — you’ll never truly understand what it’s like for that person who looks at you like you’re the only thing that matters in the whole damn world.

And maybe that’s okay.

You don’t need to understand for someone else to see that you’re magic.

You are loved.

And love is its own kind of magic. Sometimes we wonder at the people who have chosen to be in our lives, wonder how we were so lucky we chose them and they chose us. But maybe it’s not up to us to understand why we are loved.

Think of someone you love — a friend, maybe, or perhaps a parent or child. Think of how you see them: what you see when you look in their eyes, how you feel when they’re beside you, how they make you laugh or smile or feel somehow less alone in this vast cosmos we are floating in. Think of that.

Now think of yourself: how you perceive your flaws, all the pieces that feel broken, all the places you feel you fall short. See the difference?

We live inside our own minds — you’re with yourself 24/7, so it’s easy to see all the ways you routinely mess up. Through the muck of life, your light may dim. You might grow impatient or feel tried and tired by it all. You may forget you’re magic.

That’s why family and friends are so important. They remind us when we forget.

You don’t need to understand why someone loves you. You don’t need to understand for someone else to see that you’re magic.

A gentle nudge: tell someone why you love them. Send an email, send a text, pick up the phone and call them. Get specific — think of one reason why your life is better simply because they are in it. And the next time someone tells you they love you, let them. Let those words sink in and store them in your heart for a day when life feels hard.

As a poet, writer, and intuitive guide, Maia Thom works with words to create spaces for people to breathe and come home to themselves. In 2020, she published her first anthology, Kitchen Table Talks: Simple Reminders + Thoughts on Life. You can find her on Instagram as @maia.thom where she shares poetry, art, and practical wisdom to offer daily moments of calm.