No, You Don’t Need to Be Great at Everything

4 steps to help overcome your perfectionism

Personally, I’ve fallen victim to this kind of thinking — you know…perfectionism.

It’s a part of myself I’ve learned to live with. From the days when I’d throw a tantrum because my logos weren’t “creative enough,” to now, when I nearly gave up on blogging after writing 2–3 blogs because they couldn’t get as many views as I thought they could, my need to be good at everything has defined who I am.

In my mind, not being good at something has always meant that I have two choices: give up, or rebuke myself until I get it right.

From the start, my mentality was like, “I want this. I want to do that too,” and on top of all that I want to be perfect in each one of them. Of course, that wasn’t possible.

“You don’t have to be great at everything, and there’s no point even trying.” — Michael Hyatt

A few months back I wanted to be a blogger, then all of a sudden an idea of designing a website struck me, so I started designing side by side, and on top of that, I also wanted to be a novel writer. Crazy isn’t it? I was young, bushy-tailed, and naive then. Didn’t know what exactly I was doing or trying to do. Only ended up making a total fool of myself.

According to psychologist Dr. Meg Arroll, our need to be good at everything (and live up to the expectations and pressures of people around us) — a trait called “self-critical perfectionism.”

If you’re trying to be a self-critical perfectionist just like me, then it’s obviously very tempting for you to try every shoe in your career. This is especially true if you’re cursed with being halfway good at all those tasks.

That’s not the compliment by the way. I think you didn’t notice that I have emphasized the word cursed here.

Let’s be honest here, shall we?

Do you eat while you sleep? Do you date two people at the same time (unless you’re polyamorous)? Do you answer email during conference calls? Do you text your mom while you’re on a call with a friend? Do you bring your laptop to meetings and pretend to take notes while you scroll through Instagram?

There is a famous Chinese proverb:

“One cannot manage too many affairs: like pumpkins in the water, one pops up while you try to hold down the other.”

The biggest thing that’ll be cost you, while trying to juggle too many things perfectly at the same time, is your…productivity.

“Why is it that between 25% and 50% of people report feeling overwhelmed or burned out at work?,” says Tony Schwartz, “It’s not just the number of hours we’re working, but also the fact that we spend too many continuous hours juggling too many things at the same time.”

Perfectionism often verges on self-abuse. Prof. Hewitt says,“[Perfectionists] are hugely hard on themselves with a hatred that is breathtaking at times.”

One study found that more than 70 percent of young people who died by suicide were in the habit of creating “exceedingly high” expectations of themselves.

Of particular concern is the amount of anxiety and pressure most of us feel about our work is “good enough”; unless we are concerned about being fair in everything, and base our self-respect on other people’s opinions and rely on external validity to feel good about ourselves.

So how can we overcome this poisonous thinking?

#1. Choose One Thing At a Time

Here’s the fact: You can’t be good at everything at the same time but that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve anything at all… As long as you focus on achieving one thing at a time, you can achieve anything you want.

“The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.” — Mozart

Gary Keller and Jay Papasan even wrote a whole book, The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results about this simple idea.

Here’s the excerpt from the book:

“Success demands singleness of purpose. You need to be doing fewer things for more effect instead of doing more things with side effects. It is those who concentrate on but one thing at a time who advance in this world.

…Make sure every day you do what matters most. When you know what matters most, everything makes sense.”

You can build the career you want, you can write a book, you can travel anyplace, and you can learn how to speak Spanish.

You can do all those things in your lifetime but you can’t do them all at once.

And, most importantly, you can’t excel in any of those fields, if you’re don’t intend to invest consistent hours into mastering them.

Bruce Lee’s words also exemplify this same principle of mastery:

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

Mastery and success both come from pursuing one thing and then practicing that one thing again and again.

Choose that one kick. Practice it. 10,000 times.

If you want to create viable change in your life, you must choose that “one thing” and then you must go deep into that thing.

#2. Obsess About It

“Be like a postage stamp — stick to one thing until you get there.” — Josh Billings

It is only natural for most people to start setting goals or making important choices that they want to focus on. But unless you have trained your mind to be focused on one thing, it’s not wise to do it.

“Obsession” can be a good term to refer to such focus. When you search on Google…“obsession” is defined as “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.”

Albert Einstein said:

“Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason, mastery demands all of a person.”

I also believe that this is true.

Take a moment and think about some successful people like Bill Gates, Shakespeare, and They’ve all focused primarily on one thing in their careers — computer software, writing respectively. Did they hop from career to career, or did they focus on a particular subject and obsess about it? Somehow, they were able to focus most of their energy on one skill until they mastered it.

You can do a ton of things at the same time, but in order to be great at something, you’ve to make it your only focus and obsess about that particular thing.

#3. Manage Your Desires

Before you approach the “one thing” strategy. You first need to improve your focus. Otherwise, you would get back to your old behavior within a week no matter how much you have obsessed about that one thing in the first place.

Your mindset should be changed from “I want everything” to “I appreciate what I have.” It is the only way to live the concept of “one thing.”

In other words…Control Your Desires.

In one of his best classes, Stoic Epictetus said:

“Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of men’s desires, but by the removal of desire.”

When you control your desires, you attack the problem from within. In my experience, you cannot live a calm and focused life if you always crave more and more new things.

All of this does not mean that we should not want to improve our lives. The whole purpose of life is to move forward. Don’t be afraid to set goals and to reach big goals.

#4. Learn to Say No

How many hours of tedious meetings have you sat through when you had no real reason to be there? How many coffees have you had with people you didn’t want to have coffee with? How many tasks did you try to juggle at once when you really don’t want to do anything at all?

“Bees cannot sting and make honey at the same time. They have to make a choice. Either they are going to be a stinger or a honey-maker.” — Emanuel Cleaver

In his book The Power of No, entrepreneur and author James Altucher write: “When you say yes to something you don’t want to do, here is the result: you hate what you are doing, you resent the person who asked you, and you hurt yourself.”

Saying no means ignoring all the things you can do and doing what you should do. It is clear that not all things are equally important — but “your one thing” is very important.

Doing something well requires concentration, and that can mean no to everything else. You may find that most people in your life will have opinions about the decision to say no. They may think that you have stopped or call you overworked, or they may be upset.

No matter how anyone else responds, this step is important.

If you still find it difficult to practice saying no, then remember the words of billionaire businessman Warren Buffet, “Successful people say no to almost everything.”

It allows you to be a better person because when you say yes, it comes from a good environment, not from anger or fear. It creates a space for things that are more important to you, than a busy schedule, as most of us do.

Be clear with what you say yes to and where you spend your time and focus. Refuse to accept mediocrity, and start chasing greatness.