You Don’t Have to Be in Love to Marry a Woman
All you need is to learn how to understand her.
I had an interesting conversation with one of my close male buddies, who is also married, about love and women.
He said he did not love his wife before they got married, and that came to me as a shock.
He’s a very romantic guy, caring and loving. So the last thing I expected to hear from him was that he didn’t believe in love before marriage.
We have been friends with benefits for over ten years, I thought I knew quite a bit about him in the love department.
Sadly, after our most recent conversation, it turned out I didn’t know him at all.
However, I was intrigued to know how he got to this point of illusion.
Was he trying to mask his unrequited love from me, or was he protecting his heart from getting hurt?
Either way, I was curious, and here is what I have learned so far.
Women are emotional bombers
Sometimes I imagine what’s like to date me. I’m a complex person.
My feeling can be thrown all over the place now, and in a split second, it dies.
Whether it’s a projection from the past or my biological wiring, I don’t let my guards down easily.
It’s confusing for some men to know what to love or not love about me. And when they do find a reason to fall in love, it doesn’t last because I will mess it up.
So when my friend said women should be understood rather than loved, I felt complacent, but a bit hurt at how dramatic my love life is.
Women date out of insecurity
Gina broke off her 3-year engagement after realizing she didn’t love her fiancé enough to marry him.
They had been dating for two years before the engagement, and they had no misunderstanding to warrant her abrupt decision to call off the engagement.
Although she did confide in me that she loved the guy at the beginning of their relationship, as their lives progressed, she settled in as his partner because she did not want to be alone.
She also didn’t want to go through the trouble of courting someone new in her thirties.
The fear of ending up alone forever can confuse women into thinking they love someone when they don’t.
So if a guy is getting missed feelings from his woman, he will resolve to play it safe to avoid the emotional pain.
Women can’t differentiate between want and need
Women can be confused as to what they want. Most of us want a stable, understanding, and caring man, yet, when we do, we feel a piece is missing.
That puzzle can erupt the peace that exists in your relationship, making the guy uncomfortable with being with you.
If a guy is withholding love from you, it’s probably because you’ve complicated his feelings for you.
Women date out of obligation
Here is the thing with dating a nice woman. They will always give in to whatever you ask of them.
Nice girls will tolerate shits from you, be there when you need them, defend you behind your back, but to them, it’s an obligation, not love.
This attitude can make a guy feel loved even when there is no chemistry between you two.
The truth is most nice girls are insecure, so they feel the need to be validated all the time.
And if you are that guy who appreciates her efforts and shows her care, she will want to date you.
But when a guy notices the girl he likes is nice to everyone just as she is to him, he will have reservations about taking the relationship deeply.
To wrap it up
Learning to understand women can take a lifetime, and what complicates it is the fact that women are conditioned by society (and by men) to behave in certain ways.
Once you break the barrier between who stands or sits in the bathroom, you can really start building genuine connections with women, just like you would with your male friends.
Even though you may not ever fully get to understand women, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.
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