You Don’t Have to Apologize for Things You Enjoy

Don’t say sorry when you’re excited.

I admit it. I’m a geek.

There are a lot of things I am into that people have called me weird for over the years.

Star Trek? I definitely worship at the altar of Gene Roddenberry and his vision of the future.

I also love anything related to Star Wars, which, as a self-professed Star Trek freak, is a strange dichotomy. You don’t find many who adore both at once.

Dungeons and Dragons? Check. Video games? Well, the thousands of hours I have dedicated to various and sundry games over the years would testify to how much I adore them.

That’s especially true if it’s a good MMO I can sink my teeth into for months at a stretch.

Then, of course, there’s writing. Anything relating to wordsmithing will grab my attention for hours, and reading clicks the same boxes.

I’m not only into the things, but I love to talk about them, too. I get excited about it all, delving into the worlds I have experienced or created in my own mind and imagination.

I salivate, hyperventilate, when discussing Star Trek and how amazing of a human story Data has, or how the colors of light sabers can mean different things. It’s a great joy for me to answer questions or to bring up a good point about the things that thrill me.

And then, out of nowhere, it happens.

As I am talking about these things that give the thrills and chills, I get that subconscious tingle that the things I’m talking about aren’t as important to the other person as they are to me. Maybe it’s an unconscious clue in their body language or facial expression.

Maybe it’s just my imagination playing tricks on me.

The more correct reason is, perhaps, because I have dealt with people in my past who have put me down for the things I love.

Have you experienced the same?

An ex of mine, for instance, got frustrated with me talking about Star Trek and how much I was looking forward to watching the upcoming episode. She tore into me, screaming about how tired she was hearing me talk about it, because she didn’t like the show herself.

It went on for almost an hour, and I felt like such a small child being berated by their parents for doing something wrong.

Even now, these years later, if I am talking about something and I get even a whiff the person might not be interested, I will stop. I will say how sorry I am for discussing it and clam up in a shell.

Heck, they don’t even have to give a hint they’re not as into it as I am. Even if they’re being responsive, it’ll still happen sometimes.

It happens to a lot of us, I think.

I see the same thing happening to other people, too.

A couple days ago, I was in a chat with a few people, and one of them brought up Dungeons and Dragons. They were excited because they were starting up a new game with some friends and wanted to tell us about it.

Then came the words. “Oh man, I’m sorry. I’m just excited about it.”

Whenever something like that happens, it makes me feel so sad. I hurt for them, knowing it’s because someone in their past did the same to them at some point.

They loved something, and talked about it, and someone shut them down.

It’s really heartbreaking to see it happen and always brings up in myself the memories of how I’ve gone through the same thing.

I tell them what anyone else might. They don’t have to say sorry. They don’t have to apologize for being happy, especially if what they’re into is causing no harm to anyone else.

I wonder how many others go through similar things. How many people have had someone shut them down when they’ve been excited or happy?

How can we counteract that kind of thing happening when it crops up?

Maybe the solution is to surround ourselves with people who support us instead of tearing us down.

I’m not sure. All I know is I will always tell people to never be sorry for talking about something they’re excited about.

So, dear reader, what are you into? What gets you hyped up?

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