You Do Not Eliminate A Bad Habit. You Replace It

My successful journey quitting smoking

My dad has been smoking more than 50 years of his life, 40 cigarettes per day. And my mom also used to smoke since I was a little boy. Both of them smoked in everywhere; inside the house, in the car, in the office. And at any time, wasn’t weird to see my dad waking up at 3 am to light a cigarette in his bedroom.

I started when I was 14 years old. As the most of teenagers, I did it to feel cool and part of a group. I even sold cigars in my school, of course, it was forbidden, so I was some kind of Pablo Escobar for the rest of my school mates.

I clearly remember that during that period of my life, my first cigarette was near 6.30 am when I was on my way to school, and the last one will be during the night, before bed.

In University, the few bucks that I had I spent it on cigarettes rather than food.

And of course, once I started to work, I had money to buy more so I went straight to 40 cigarettes per day.

In that period, I was working on a roster system at 3500 meters above the level of the sea. And I remember very well going out of my bedroom with -10 Celsius just to light a cigarette or smoking two or even three cigars one after another to not go out of the office too much because of the weather conditions.

As you can see, cigars were part of an essential piece of my life. Cigarette was my friend, my partner. Every time I was anxious, sad, or mad with something, my priority would be smoke. I was an addict, I could be the entire day without eating, but I would never be without smoking.

At the beginning, I didn’t want to stop. I was a proud smoker. I love it. I was blind, and I was always creating arguments in favour and not realizing the problem. My classic defensive comment was “we all are going to die someday”

When I knew my actual wife, something changed. Her parents were similar to mine on their smoking habits. And contrary to me, that same environment was the trigger for her to be a non-smoking person.

She was like an eye-opener. I started to realize my bad health condition, my breathing issues, the disgusting smell that I had on my clothes and room always. And I finally considered the option to leave cigarettes behind.

I tried to quit it twice; the first time for nine months, and the second time for six. But in the end, I always went back. No matter how hard I tried, all that time I wake-up and went to bed thinking on smoking, every single day.

Both times the same thing happened to me. After a few months I would say to me I got this, I can have one cigar, nothing will happen. And without realized I would be back into 40 daily.

Then, while I was reading Atomic Habits from James Clear, I was aware that I was doing the wrong thing. I was trying to eliminate the habit, but I wasn’t replacing it with nothing. I was trying to erase an important part of my life, and not including nothing to compensate that lost.

I understood smoking was a habit that I have for a reason. Smoking was providing me pleasure, calm, and relief when I was under stress or anxiety. It was more than just the act of smoke; it was a symbol of support.

Finally, after more than twelve years of smoking and two intents of leave cigarette, I did it. I have been four years, six months, and eighteen days without smoking. And I pretend to stay like that for the rest of my life.

To do it, I follow some of the ideas that James Clear provide around habit changes.

Choose a substitute

Forty cigarettes daily is a lot of time smoking. The first question that I made to myself was: what I am going to do with all that extra time?

When you are trying to break a bad habit, you need to have a substitute that will help you to respond to those challenging moments.

In my case, every time I felt that I needed a cigarette, I immediately took a breath and go for a walk. Doesn’t matter the time waking, could be ten seconds or ten minutes. The important was that my mind was going away from the cigarette, and with time it wasn’t necessary.

Cut the triggers

I realized that I used to increase the number of cigarettes when I was drinking, or when I was with people smoking near me. So I went straight to cut those triggers. I left the alcohol a while, and every time I was near people smoking, I left the place immediately.

Change your environment, and you can change the outcome. (James Clear)

Join forces with someone else

The first two times I tried to quit smoking, I did it alone. The third time I did two things: I shared it with everyone to feel the social pressure, and I found a friend that also wanted to do the same, so we were together on this journey.

Having somebody in your same challenge helps to keep accountability, support, and take care of each other when you are weak.

Visualize success

If you are trying to live a healthy life, see yourself eating that salad or doing exercise. In my case, before any meeting or party, I visualized myself waking-up the next day without that awful smell. That was my small victory.

Return to your old you

This was one of the interesting points that I read. What James says is that you do not need to build a new identity; you need to go back to who you were before the bad habit.

It is an invitation to reflect on how was your old you before the habit was created to show to yourself that you have it in you.

Use the word” but” as a way to overcome negative self-talk

Usually, people judge themselves for not acting better. I was used to say to myself “I smell bad because of cigarette, but I can’t leave it”. The trick here is to include the but word to have a positive outcome. “I smoke bad because of cigarette, but I will smell much better in a few weeks if I continue on this path”.

Plan for failure

I had the luck that I smoked my last cigarette and never went back. However, the most common thing is that you will do it. You will smoke it, or you will slip up to what you are trying to modify.

So, rather than feel wrong with yourself or throw everything away, have an excellent plan to go back in track again.

As I shared at the beginning of this article, I had failed twice before I did it. Break a bad habit take time, commitment, effort, and perseverance.

If I did it, you can do it. You just need to believe in yourself, good luck!