You Couldn’t Do Anything About It.

So Stop Worrying…

There are many things in life that seem unfair.

Someone less experienced and civilized as you got the promotion you were craving.

The girl you’ve been in love with since the 4th grade is now married with 6 kids.

Your parents got divorced and your dog suddenly died of obesity.

These are all terrible things.

No doubt about it.

But how much of it is in your control?

Not a lot of it.

Let’s dive into these hypothetical examples to illustrate my point.

Instance 1: Job Robbery

This event may seem unfair.

You’ve shown loyalty.

You’ve demonstrated your worth.

And yet, you’ve been looked over for a snotty nosed kid with a full head of hair and spectacular jawline.

How could this be?

In short, there are a billion reasons that have nothing to do with you.

Maybe the kid is a genius.

Maybe his dad is best friends with the boss.

Or maybe, you just weren’t suited to the job.

The point is, there are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with you.

So stop beating yourself up about it.

There’ll be more promotions round the corner and you’ll be ready for them.

All you have to do is go above and beyond the call of duty to force yourself into the picture.

If your employers fail to see your value at that point, leave.

Why stick around somewhere where you aren’t valued?

That’s ridiculous.

Instance 2: Unreciprocated Love

This is a tough one, but it needs to be discussed.

That girl you’ve been in love with since the 4th grade never loved you.

I’m sorry, but attraction isn’t a choice.

You thought being her bestie would work wonders for your goal of becoming romantic.

But the truth is, this is not only torture for yourself, but straight up manipulation.

If a girl is interested in your romantically, she’ll never friendzone you.

Why would she?

That would be torture for her.

No, you made the mistake of spending decades obsessed with someone who didn’t spend any time thinking about you.

And now, she’s married to a guy named Chad and has 6 handsome young boys.

Instead of feeling resentful and thinking, “those should be my boys”, let it go.

Attraction isn’t a choice and she was never attracted to you.

The good news is, this experience is an incredibly valuable lesson for you.

Sure it may be painful, but it’s one you needed to learn.

Now you can move on with newfound knowledge that will serve you beautifully in the future.

All you have to do is find a girl who is attracted to you and get busy.

How do you find her?

Volume.

Love is a numbers game and you’ve got to start shooting your shot.

At first, you need to be a machine gun.

Once you’ve gained some experience, you can transform into a sniper.

Start taking part in hobbies that you’re naturally interested in.

If you love to dance, join a Tango course.

You’re bound to meet a woman who’d love to be your partner on the dancefloor and in life.

Moving on…

Instance 3: Divorce

I had a friend who got really messed up after his parents divorced.

He had this cool and confident demeanour.

But every time he got royally drunk, he’d start crying his eyes out and would routinely blame himself for his parents divorce.

This was a very sad sight to see.

The once towering giant with good looks and talent was suddenly reduced to a weeping baby.

The thing is, his parents’ divorce had absolutely nothing to do with him.

And yet he blamed himself for it.

I think many children who experience divorces suffer from this situation.

They’re not aware of the intricate details of an adult relationship and lack a lot of information.

It’s easy to jump to false conclusions like, “It’s all my fault.”

The truth is, human relationships are complicated.

And it’s a tragedy for children to get wrapped up in them.

All divorced couples should have gotten the breakup out of the way before creating their offspring.

It would have saved everyone a lot of pain and sorrow.

But alas, this rarely happens.

And as a result, it’s up to you to deal with it.

Stop blaming yourself for your parent’s divorce.

You were a kid.

How could you possibly be blamed for their failings?

Let it go.

Instance 4: Death Of Dog

Lastly, let’s talk about your dead dog.

I wish all dogs could live forever.

I really do.

But sadly, this isn’t how the world works.

Dogs don’t live very long and it’s very likely that they will die before you do.

This is very difficult to accept and can be quite a painful experience.

I had a dog when I was a baby but my mum got rid of it out of paranoia.

She was terrified the dog would bite my tiny head off or something.

Getting rid of this dog was extremely difficult for my dad.

He didn’t want to do it.

But my mum couldn’t be reasoned with.

It was either the dog or me.

What a hilariously stupid ultimatum.

With that said, I did have a cat die on me (not literally).

She was an absolute psychopath but had the ability to display loving affection.

As an Istanbul streetcat, she was wild by nature.

We adopted her as a kitten after our neighbours nursed her back to health.

She was just a baby when she had most of her paw ripped off by a car.

How did this happen?

I have no idea.

Apparently during winter, cats climb into warm areas of parked cars in an attempt to shelter from the cold.

It’s assumed that she got stuck somehow and ended up losing most of her paw.

We affectionately called her disability the “stumpy foot”.

Anyway, this cat lived with us for over 10 years.

She was very sleepy in her final years and didn’t move around a lot.

She ended up dying of a Covid cocktail mixed in with an eye infection.

It was a pretty sad time.

I wasn’t there when it happened, but my mum was and she couldn’t stop blubbering.

But there was nothing we could do.

She was old.

She got infected.

She died.

There’s no point in beating ourselves up about it.

Why?

Because “It’s the ciiiiiiircle of liiiiife”.

The point of this weird article was to entertain as well as to educate.

I don’t want you to obsess over things which are out of your control.

It’s a waste of time and doesn’t serve you in any way whatsoever.

There are going to be situations you encounter that frustrate you and bring you to your knees in despair.

Assess if these situations could have been avoided with your actions.

If they can, make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

If they can’t, let it go.

There are a billion things outside of your control.

The only things in your power are your actions and decisions.

I implore you to take responsibility for everything, but please be reasonable about it.

If you shoot your shot and the girl rejects you like Shaquille O’Neal, don’t be upset.

Attraction isn’t a choice and she’s just not that into you.

Accept the rejection with grace and move on.

Because you miss every shot you don’t take.

Even the great Michael Jordan missed more shots than he made.

But if he never attempted them, he never would have found the success he desired.

I love this metaphor so much and think it relates to so many areas of life.

However, if your parents got divorced or your dog died, don’t blame yourself.

Humans are weird and your dog just got old.

You didn’t play a part in either fatality.

So stop beating yourself up about it.

It may seem like everything is always about you, but it’s not.

The world is a complicated place with plenty of uncontrollable factors.

You just have to navigate your way through these murky waters.

By detaching yourself from guilt and accepting the way things are, you give yourself a much better chance of dealing with the weirdness in the world.

I hope this was helpful for you.

Have a splendid day,

-Godfrey