You Can’t Fight Change, You Must Learn To Flow With It
The only thing that never changes, is change itself
The more we age, the more we fight the tides of change.
We build cocoons of comfort for ourselves and try desperately to fortify these cocoons every chance we get.
But the longer we stay in these shells, the more they resemble coffins.
And these coffins keep us stagnant as we clutch to yesterday or any moment in the past when life was more comfortable.
If we want to grow and live meaningful lives, however, we shouldn’t be pursuing comfort.
Instead of resisting change, you must embrace it.
The Impact Of Resisting Change
We often give elderly people grief over their stubbornness and unwillingness to accept change.
But most people are the same way. They see change as a threat and something to avoid. But you can’t live your life like this.
Change is how we get from where we are to where we’re meant to be. We can’t fulfill our destinies squabbling with change. Without it, we stay stuck, bored, and uninspired, and we begin to regress in every area of our lives.
Be The Commander Of Your Life
Not only do we need to be receptive to change, but we must go and search for it.
Be the commander and take charge.
The universe will throw so much your way, and I know that sometimes it feels like too much to bear.
Still, there are changes that we control in our lives, so sometimes it serves to initiate those changes yourself.
Because it helps to remember that if you don’t make changes in your life, then life will make those changes for you.
Ruminating On What Was
The only certainty in this world is change.
We can fight it all we want, but today is not the same as yesterday. So, we have to stop living in the past. It’s a new day and you’re a new you.
Whether on purpose or not, when you insist on obsessing over what was and ignore what is, you allow resistance to infect you, which leads to unnecessary suffering.
The solution is acquiescence and acceptance.
Not to promote complacency, but to open your eyes to the fact that you will experience many things that are outside of your control.
From there, you must learn to embrace this reality.
Safety And Security Are Silent Killers
Over time, we become uncool.
It happens to just about everyone. And I’m not talking about the opposite of super suave kind of cool (although that happens as well).
I’m talking about the rigid kind of uncool.
The kind of uncool that pushes us to sit in our comfort zones 24/7, avoiding any perceived threats to our cocoons of safety.
Our comfort zones haven’t been there our whole lives. We’ve built them up over our lifetime. As we transition from our youth and into adulthood we establish our comfort zones and we start to prioritize security.
When we were young, however, we weren’t looking for comfort.
We were looking for life…for adventure.
Being safe wasn’t the goal.
We could give a damn about security.
And yes, I understand that we’re not children anymore. There are real consequences for acting recklessly. Still, there’s a difference between a child’s recklessness and what I’m talking about.
I’m calling for you to embrace your curiosity.
There are plenty of adventures and wonders to experience in adulthood. But you have to be receptive to them. The harder you cling to comfort and security, the more disturbed you’ll become when life forces you to adjust to unplanned changes.
The key is to balance being responsible and secure while embracing change and searching for it yourself.
Your childlike curiosity doesn’t have to die if you don’t want it to.
Growth Versus Fixed Mindset
I’ve been a fan of superheroes since I was a child.
I wanted so badly to have powers, any powers.
Super speed. Flight. Telepathy.
Weirdly, no matter how much I wished for powers, I never developed any. (Maybe I didn’t wish hard enough.)
I’ve learned, however, that humans have their own collection of powers, the kind made specifically to help us better navigate the world. One of those powers is the power of perspective, meaning your ability to create your own point of view, regardless of the obstacles in your way.
The power of perspective is mental and spiritual invincibility.
With the right perspective, in all situations, you decide how your experience will affect you.
If your perspective is malleable, then it doesn’t matter what you’re going through. With a malleable perspective, you learn to see the opportunities where others might see reasons to despair.
It’s also the difference between someone with a growth mindset and someone with a fixed mindset.
People with fixed mindsets are rarely receptive to change.
They don’t want it.
They didn’t order it, so you need to send it back.
A fixed mindset is dangerous because it stunts our ability to grow and places a cap on our potential.
People with fixed mindsets often believe that people are born a certain way and there’s nothing anyone can do to change that.
They also view problems as a reason to have a bad day.
Woke up late? Great, guess I’m having a bad day.
Traffic on the way to work? Looks, like today’s going to suck.
This kind of mentality is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s particularly damaging because it pulls us into an abyss that becomes increasingly difficult to escape the longer we sit in it.
Contrary to a fixed mindset, a person with a growth mindset welcomes and embraces change.
They don’t look at obstacles in their lives as permanent barriers.
Instead, they see those problems as training that leads them to opportunities that ultimately guide them toward growth.
With a growth mindset, you realize that nurture matters more than nature.
Our environment doesn’t have to dictate our destiny. Even more, our brains are not fixed. They’re plastic.
It can take a lot of work to adopt a growth mindset.
You’ll feel discomfort and resistance.
Both are normal parts of the process. With an open mind, however, anyone can do it.
Embracing Change
Life is composed of chapters, and one chapter must be closed before a new one is opened.
We evolve through change, sometimes simply and slowly over a prolonged period of time.
And occasionally the change is more abrupt.
If you’re struggling to embrace change, try this:
- Claim your sphere of control. If something is happening that we have control over, then it deserves our attention. On the other hand, if the event is outside of our control, then don’t waste your time stressing over it. All that anxious worrying won’t change the outcome.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is a killer. And we’re killing ourselves by looking at the lives of others (online or in person) and assuming they have it all figured out. Your journey is unique to you. So comparing yourself to others is simply a self-imposed hurdle and distraction.
- Forecast ahead. Change can catch us off guard if we never ponder our next move. Life is ever-changing, but there are moments of calm, however inconsistent those moments may be. These are the times when we should be preparing ourselves for what comes next. It’s good to plan, but be ready to roll with the flow of the universe.
- Enjoy the process. Life is a journey (*rolls eyes*). But seriously, it is. And that journey is more about the process than the outcome because the time spent doing the work typically outweighs the time spent reflecting on the results. When you realign yourself to enjoy the journey, then unexpected changes can’t break you. You might even learn to love some of the changes along the way.
- Associate with people who embrace change. Surround yourself with people who view change as positive. Associate with people who make changes in their lives, and don’t complain when they experience major changes that are out of their control. These people can help you transform your own outlook and even provide support in times of intense turmoil.
Life Is Change
Change is here to stay, so we might as well learn to embrace it.
It’s not easy. We’re all human, and we’re wired to try and stay safe and secure.
Why would we want to venture out of our comfort zones? Because on the other side of that comfort zone is a better version of ourselves.
We can’t accomplish everything we were put on this earth to accomplish by resisting change. It’s impossible.
Your environment will change.
The people in your life will change.
You will change.
Honoring your journey requires you to move forward. Embrace the changes and have fun along the way. That’s all you can ever really do.
Hi, I’m Jon. I’m here to empower and encourage you. I write about philosophy, spirituality, personal development, and human nature. To see my stories on your feed, consider following me (Jon Soto).
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