You Can’t Change Anyone But Yourself

A practical guide to becoming the person you want to be.

I used to believe it was a good idea to change the mindset of people in my inner circle.

I thought that the only thing stopping them from living a happier life was a lack of knowledge on how to start.

I was wrong.

Over the past few years, I’ve discovered that most people are scared of change. They become trapped in their routines, confined by a limited mindset, and live in a perpetual state of mediocrity. I know that’s a harsh statement to make. But we all know it’s true.

Unfortunately, you can’t change anyone but yourself. So instead of telling other people how to be happy, a better solution is taking your own advice, so they can be inspired to follow in your footsteps. Like the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius once said:

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

You can live a happier life, accomplish anything you desire, and become the type of person you want to be. So if you want to change your life for the better, here’s how to make it happen.

Let Go Of Everything That You Cannot Change.

You can’t control what other people think, say, or do. But in any given situation, you can always choose your response and how you react in the face of adversity. Perhaps this is what Epictetus meant when he said:

“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

One of the greatest truths of life is that we spend unnecessary time worrying about things we cannot change. But when you let go of external circumstances outside of your control, you’ll have a lot more time to focus on the things that matter to you.

For example, I used to have social anxiety that made me incapable of making new friends. After all, I spent a lot of time worrying about what people might think, so I rarely attempted to have a real conversation.

I was paralyzed by fear.

But when I accepted that some people might dislike me, my confidence improved as I realized the only way to make new friends was by talking to more people.

Unfortunately, you can’t control external events. But when you accept the things you cannot change, you give yourself a lot more energy & time to focus on what you can. For example:

• Are you annoyed by lazy co-workers at your job? Consider using them as an example of how not to behave so you can improve your work ethic and complete any assignments quickly.
• Do you feel frustrated that you’re stuck indoors due to quarantine restrictions? Use any extra time in your day to read a book, start a side hustle, or do anything else that you enjoy.
• Are you struggling to get over a breakup? Instead of dwelling on the past, use this moment to reflect on what you want from a future relationship, so you can begin the process of finding someone else.

You need to recognize that you cannot control everything. So whenever you encounter adversity, it’s important to learn from the past, so you can begin the process of improving your future for the better.

Turn Your Goals Into Daily Habits.

Without even knowing you, I can tell that you’re ambitious. You want to exceed expectations, create an amazing life, and become proud of who you are.

But you need to remember that meaningful changes in life never happen overnight. So if you want to achieve something incredible, you first need to figure out the necessary steps to make it a reality.

I’ll give you an example. A few months ago, I decided to become a full-time writer. Despite having a limited ability to write a coherent sentence, I said to myself that I was prepared to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

So after a bit of research, I turned my goal of becoming a writer into several daily habits, which made it much more achievable. For example:

• I read at least 50 pages of a book each morning to expand my imagination & significantly improve my vocabulary.
• I wrote one new article each day. After all, if I could create a portfolio of work, it would help me to see what type of articles work well with my audience.
• I made an effort to connect with at least five other writers each evening. I’ve found that having a network of like-minded people is great for improving your work.

You get the idea. When you break down your goals into daily habits, it’s easier to identify what you need to do to accomplish anything you desire. Darren Hardy said it best:

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”

So take a moment to write down your goals & the necessary habits you need to implement to make them a reality. Because when you can make a little bit of progress each day, the power of compound interest will create a much better life over time.

You can create the life you desire. You can live each day with a sense of optimism and accomplish anything you’ve ever wanted. But it starts with you.

It starts with you making a conscious decision to accept the things you cannot change, so you can focus your energy on everything that you can.

It starts with you creating a daily routine that enables you to make progress towards your goals.

My friend, nobody else can change your life.

Only you.