You can learn to talk like a Ninja

Suggestions to increase your ability to get what you want

In my line of work, I see a variety of personalities. From person to person, I don’t know what mindset an individual has or how vulnerable they’re feeling.

So, I’ve had to learn how to be a Ninja communicator.

If you know about Ninja fighters, then you know their underlying philosophy.

“To be a Ninja is to be so much in harmony with even an enemy that he chooses not to oppose you. The greatest achievement of a Ninja might be said to be not victory, but great understanding — wisdom so great that one can always avoid conflict, always know what is the ‘right action’.”

I’ve taken training from many experts in this field. One of the leaders of nonviolent communication was Marshall Rosenberg. He left a legacy of free resources for anyone to learn from.

You might be in the same situation as me. In your work, you’re engaging with many personalities. So, learning effective communication skills will help you be more successful in any profession.

Here are immediately applicable and practical suggestions from Marshall Rosenberg’s Center for Nonviolent Communication that helped me. I hope they will help you.

• Spend time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.
• Remember that all human beings have the same needs. Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.
• When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we make a request or a demand.
• Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.
• Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.
• Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person feels and needs.
• Instead of saying “No,” say what need of ours prevents us from saying “Yes.”
• If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met and what we could do to meet them, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.
• Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.

If you want more like this, then I invite you to check out Marshall Rosenberg and the Center for Nonviolent Communication.

(The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully. 2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC. The right to freely duplicate these recommendations is hereby granted.)

And Ninja warrior philosophy is cool, too.