Travel

You Can Keep Your Free In-Flight Wifi

We already gave up our physical space. Now they want the mental one too.

I know what you are going to say, I can already hear it: “No one’s got a gun to your head. If you don’t want to use the free wi-fi on your flight, then don’t use it.”

Fair enough, I say. But that is not the point.

There are plenty of reasons to hate flying these days, let me count the ways: it’s expensive, the seats are smaller, the people are ruder, the employees are more frazzled, airports are horrible places in which prices bear no relation to anything in the non-airport world, there are charges for every last thing before you even click purchase of a very expensive fare and I won’t forget the lineups, much as I’d like to: checking in, security, immigration, baggage claim, taxis.

Nevermind all that, but also the feeling of knowing, just knowing, that that baby being held so gently by its mother in the boarding area is going to be in the seat directly behind you on this overnight flight.

And all this is even before you are in the air.

What about the environmental impact that you are causing by your participation in this whole industry, whether travelling for business, to visit family or to go to some instagrammable corner of the world and write about how “travel erases all boundaries” or something equally poignant and nauseating.

Again, not the point.

I read the other day that various airlines in the US are going to start offering free wi-fi. To everyone. The entirety of the great unwashed masses that fly on their cramped planes. I imagine this is meant to provide them with a distraction so that they won’t notice what is about to happen to them.

Many people will say, “that’s great”, “it’s the least they can do” and, “ain’t progress grand”. The people who are going to love this the most are probably Crypto bros watching their needles go up and down and also Instagram influencers and their enablers. So will those people who post video reviews on Youtube of their flights. Now they can do it in real time.

I, on the other hand, am horrified. At the risk of being called a Luddite or its 21st century equivalent, a “late adapter”, and getting the digital lash for it, I don’t think it’s all that great to be offered this perk. Until now, wi-fi on flights has been the preserve of the business suited elites that fly at the front of the plane with their expense accounts. Or those who just can’t stay off their devices and are more than happy to fork over exorbitant amounts for the pleasure and privilege of being connected to the world below.

For me, a 2, 3, 4 hour flight or longer was the last sacred space in our relentless world. I’m not talking about the physical space or any hint of a luxurious experience — those things disappeared a long time ago from air travel.

I’m talking about a place in which, if you were so moved, you could read a book, squeezed into your seat next to the window, almost interrupted for the duration of your flight. We don’t typically have that many unbroken hours in our non-flying lives to just sit and read and I often pack reading materials based on the anticipated length of a flight.

I enjoy being unreachable, I enjoy not having connection, I enjoy landing and as soon as those wheels are on the ground, lighting up my phone and seeing everything I’ve missed. Or, if I’m arriving in a place for which I don’t have a SIM card, hearing all the pings from phones of people who do.

But back to where I started this article, “No one’s got a gun to your head. If you don’t want to make use of the wifi they offer, then don’t make use of it.” Free will and self discipline and all that.

Or you might say, “air travel is a physical and mental mind numbing violence that we willingly inflict on ourselves and if I can be transported out of that by the magic of an internet connection, then I’m all for it”.

Yup. All of this is true. But that’s just it. I know myself. And you probably know yourself too. Sure, I can stay away from the Internet and Social Media. If I want to. But it’s not about me exercising or lacking the discipline to resist something or to succumb to it. They have figured a way around you acting based solely on your wants and needs. They have circumvented those impulses to make you use it automatically and without thought.

The bigger issue is with our impulse to deal with our boredom by scrolling and liking, instead of just engaging in some unconnected quiet time with ourselves.

And this is what will happen to me on airplanes if there is free wifi. Having to pay for it kept me away from it, just like the $20 thing of inedible sushi in a plastic single use container, like that idiotic tube of M+M’s, like the stupid coin operated massage chair.

Now it’s accessible and I cannot be trusted with this. The book I brought with me already knows that it will be required to wait for another day.