You Can Find Satisfaction on a Daily Basis While Living the D to C Principle

This mindset shift drives empathy, curiosity, and positive emotions.

“I want out.”

My English tutor had asked us to read a poem that I found lewd, lascivious, and downright obscene. These days, it’s something I’d love to read. But at the time I found it offensive.

The poem clashed with my values, the things about the world I knew to be most true. I told her I wanted out.

So, my English tutor sent me to the deputy principal’s office. It felt like I’d done something wrong. I always hated being in trouble — in fact, I almost never got into trouble. But this was different.

I told the deputy principal “I want out” — and I explained why.

She Turned My Life in a Whole New Direction

Little did I know that the deputy principal was about to say something that would kick my mind into a tailspin, and set me on a course that would tear down my most cherished beliefs.

She looked me in the eyes and spoke kindly. There was no intellectual point scoring on her part, no agenda. Just an honest, straightforward appraisal of the situation.

“I have found that when I know something to be true,” she said, “It holds up to scrutiny. Learning and study strengthen my beliefs, rather than damage them.”

She continued: “You can hold onto your own truth. But you will only discover how real your truth is through testing it. Listen to other perspectives. When you do that, you might drop your truth, or you might return to it with new respect.”

Thanks to this conversation — and other heartfelt conversations with close friends — I ended up sticking with the English class. It changed my life in so many ways, including cementing my love of writing.

I found I was best able to articulate what I believed in words. It also became a key in the process of taking apart my beliefs — while allowing me to hold onto the parts I found to be true. Things came to be as the deputy principal had promised

The conversation with that deputy principal turned my life around and was one of my most powerful and memorable encounters with the D to C principle.

Ramit Sethi’s D to C Principle — and the Benefits of Applying it

D to C is a mindset shift I learned from online entrepreneur Ramit Sethi, creator of the I Will Teach You to be Rich website and courses. It’s an easy win that can help you get ahead in many areas of your life. In fact, scientific research shows that if you follow this approach you’ll have:

• increased positive emotions
• reduced anxiety
• greater life satisfaction
• better psychological well-being
• improved performance in the workplace
• more empathy
• improved friendships

Sethi himself says that this principle is part of what helps him — and those he teaches — perform at a world-class level.

What is the D to C Principle?

Here’s Ramit Sethi’s definition of the D to C principle:

“D to C — dismissive to curious — means to put your negativity or skepticism for a new idea or product aside and instead find out what you can learn from it.”

You live out the D to C principle by noticing when you’re dismissive of something, then deliberating being curious about that thing. In other words, it’s a deliberate practice of curiosity.

This Isn’t Only about Career Success or Happiness — it Can Be Life or Death

The activist, writer, and politician Ayaan Hirsi Ali was subjected to female genital mutilation as a young girl in Somalia. She later fled the country to escape a forced marriage and sought asylum in the Netherlands.

As an adult, Ali shot a film about her experience and the oppression of women under Islam. Tragically, the film’s director Theo van Gogh was murdered due to his part in creating the film, with a death threat for Ali left pinned to his chest.

Some people are so dismissive and cynical of others that they are willing to kill and maim. That’s why cultivating curiosity is so important. It’s a powerful mindset that can change the world for the better.

In an interview with Tim Ferriss, Ali was asked what advice she would give to college students. She said:

“When [you’re] told that some people or ideas are wrong, hateful or offensive, a light bulb should go off in [your] head. This is the moment [your] curiosity should be piqued.”

That light bulb that Ali advises triggering in your mind is the D to C principle in action.

How to Apply the D to C Principle

Whenever you find yourself having a strong negative reaction to an idea or person, get curious. Ask questions.

We tend to be skeptical of things we don’t understand. The D to C principle is about filling knowledge gaps with curiosity, which reduces our skepticism and increases our empathy and understanding of the world.

The D to C principle can be applied whenever something produces a strong negative emotional reaction in you. Especially one of scorn, cynicism, revolution, or disgust. If you think something is a silly fad, or ridiculous, that can be another clue that you need to get curious.

When you notice you’ve got that feeling, you’ve found yourself a research project and a reason to spark up your curiosity. Unlock that door, and see what you find behind it.

Ramit Sethi recommends that you set aside your own barriers — even for just a few minutes. “Let go of your negativity and open yourself to learning something about it,” he says.

I’ve found the following questions — based around those provided by Sethi — useful for generating curiosity when I’m dismissive of something.

If it’s an object or idea:

• What do other people get from it?
• What might you not understand about it? What might be valuable to you?
• How does this work?

If it’s a person:

• What’s their approach to life? How does taking that approach change things for them?
• How did they reach their current position?
• What can you learn from them?

The D to C Principle is Part of a Growth Mindset

The psychologist Carol Dweck found that our mindset can have a huge impact on our success in life and relationships, and our capacity for happiness.

People with a fixed mindset struggle to grow and change. While people with a growth mindset are able to change, grow, and adapt.

To those with a growth mindset, life is a constant adventure, a place for learning new things whenever you need a challenge. Living out the D to C principal encourages a growth mindset.

People with a fixed mindset feel threatened by the success of other people. As such, they tend to be dismissive of those who are successful. People with a growth mindset, on the other hand, are inspired by the success of others. They’re curious about how people achieve success, and they’re willing to learn from others.

Annie Duke, who was one of the top poker players in the world for two decades, echoes how important curiosity is for cultivating a growth mindset. She writes the “feeling like you have it all figured out can make you stuck and close-minded to change”. Her advice to college graduates is to:

“Challenge yourself to truly listen to people who have differing ideas and opinions than you do… Feel good about really hearing those who disagree with you. Try to change your mind about one thing every day.”

The D to C Principle Changed Me for the Better — and it Can Change You, Too

When I first encountered Rudyard Kipling’s poem If — there was one couplet that stuck with me, and I realized “I want to live that”:

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch

I wanted to be able to move in many different circles, to meet and engage with all kinds of people, from a wide range of backgrounds.

The D to C principle has put me in a position where I’ve done that — from traveling the world and meeting people from many different cultures, to volunteering with homeless people, to rubbing shoulders with internet celebrities. Every experience is a chance to learn and grow.

I’ve found that by following the D to C principle, I’m much more open to listening to successful people and how they achieved their success. I’m also more open to looking at the world through different lenses — whether that’s through the lens of an internet entrepreneur, an asylum seeker, or a poker player. I allow myself more grace to explore and grow — and that’s been good for me as a person, as well as for my career.

As an example, I work in online marketing, and it took me a long-time to get beyond the idea that selling my services and making money at what I do is somehow wrong. The D to C principle helped me to believe in myself and see the valuable service that I provide in helping businesses communicate with their customers, and add value to people’s lives.

So, the next time you feel dismissive or something — get curious. It’s an approach that will give you endless opportunities to learn and grow, both personally and professionally.

Be curious about everything and you’ll jump into feelings of satisfaction on a daily basis.