Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of being with someone who is transparent, loyal, comfortable with your quirks, unconditionally supportive, attentive, and appreciative of your true self.

Abstract

The article "You Better Be With Someone Who Does These 5 Things for You" advises readers to seek partners who exhibit transparency and loyalty, as these qualities foster trust and reduce stress in relationships. It suggests that true connection comes from being able to be weird and authentic with each other. The author stresses the value of being with someone who loves you regardless of others' opinions, highlighting the importance of empathy and personal growth in a relationship. Attention is also highlighted as a crucial element, with the author noting the rarity and significance of having someone who listens actively and without distraction. Lastly, the article encourages readers to find partners who appreciate them at their core, advocating for a balanced give-and-take dynamic in successful relationships.

Opinions

The author believes that society's emphasis on superficial traits such as physical attractiveness and financial status complicates the search for a compatible partner.
Honesty and loyalty are considered more important than external qualities like beauty and social position.
The article suggests that people often overlook the importance of being comfortable with showing their true selves, including their quirks and imperfections.
It is expressed that a partner's unconditional love and support, even when others disapprove, is a sign of a strong and healthy relationship.
The author opines that genuine attention and listening are undervalued in modern society, where digital distractions are prevalent.
The piece advocates for the use of intuition to recognize a compatible partner and emphasizes the importance of mutual appreciation and understanding in a relationship.

You Better Be With Someone Who Does These 5 Things for You

Don't overthink too much.

“The saddest thing is to be a minute to someone, when you’ve made them your eternity.”― Sanober Khan

Life is short to waste your time on people who don't esteem, respect, or value the effort you keep making to build a solid relationship.

But on the other side, it‘s been hard to find your “better half.”

Besides, many people put conditions on choosing “the right person.” Our society, including social media, contributes to it, making it even harder. Spending time focusing on all the flaws while picking the best mate. We put our attention on things like:

She/he has to be physically attractive.
She/he has to be smart.
She/he to be with financial freedom.
She/he has to be a hard worker.
And even more “Drama-free.”

Those are some of them.

The reality is that person doesn't exist. We tend to build too many obstacles that block the way we look at people and, many times, neglect the real values of the peers close to us.

Therefore I put some simple qualities that are not difficult to spot and easy to appreciate making sure you are on the right path of choosing the partner of your dreams.

So if you can switch from your mind those vague traits that your friends and society required, it would be easy to find the right mate you were looking for.

Be With Someone Who Is Transparent and Loyal

“A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.” — Dalai Lama

Many people reject the idea of clarity.

Back in time, it never happened in my mind showing with transparency who I’am. In times that didn’t need to hide the truth, I opted for a lie. We all have a natural tendency to be liars, but the issues start using it as an excuse.

I constantly did, and now I wonder why all my relationships were a disaster. It’s not hard to find the answer—just a lack of honesty and loyalty.

The moment I voted not to hide the truth anymore, being transparent regardless of what other people think about it, only at that moment, my life turns out stress-free.

Why not make your life easier, without tension? Being transparent and loyal beats beauty and position. And honesty saves everyone’s time.

Be With Someone You’re Comfortable Being Weird With.

“There’s a whole category of people who miss out by not allowing themselves to be weird enough.” — Alain De Botton

A friend told me that his wife dances alone every day in front of the mirror. The first thought that popped up in my head was, “what a weirdo!” But what is weirdness? It’s just the act to be not ordinary.

It was harsh to admit that my wife does the same. Being surprised looking at her when I noticed. Afterward, I learned to enjoy it.

People who develop empathy spot that everyone has a different form to feel good, refresh, and enjoy moments. They know if someone shows as they are without being judgmental, their trust expands. Don’t halt them; instead, embrace their form to show emotions.

If people show their weirdness, it means they are opening the gap to know them better. It’s a big sign they esteem you, so why interrupt the flow.

Be With Someone Who Loves You Even When Others don't like you

This is a weird statement. Of course, you must like the person but not in all the aspects. Maybe the way he/she act in certain circumstances doesn’t match yours. And it is healthy because it a good chance to open your mind to understand others and showing empathy.

Knowing that no one is ideal and there is room left to improve is an important differentiation between immature and mature people.

Sometimes your soul mate isn’t in the best version of herself. You need to polish or guide if you are conscious of it. That imperfection that everyone has is released with the show of caring by his actions.

If you listen to your gut deep-down, you know when the right person is close to you, even if your peers around you don't like that person.

Be With Someone Who Gives You 100 percent of his Attention

“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.”― Roy T. Bennett

Nowadays, a person who is listening without his phone and focuses on what you say with intentions — is a blessing. If we start to think about it is even depressing. How have we changed over time?

If you notice that person is around you and is present when you need it without criticism, you should put the focus on it. This request is underestimated nowadays.

Few people are listeners because of their busy life. Nobody even has the necessity to talk and opt for scrolling their phones to check their social media instead. Finally, you make that choice to spend more time focusing on that rather than have a real interaction with a real person.

The person who cares for you is the person who is taking the time to listen and understand your needs.

Be With Someone Who Appreciates Who You Truly are at Your Essence

I certainly believe in the chemistry to attracts people. You feel that person. The problem is people don’t use their gut. I disagreed when people said, “someone has to love as I am.” If you focus on this way, you expect that people change or adequate themselves according to you. That is a selfish way to think.

In all solid relationships, “you give and receive,” there is no other way around; it is simple. People recognize it right away, and they visualize that person being the best mother or father for their children.

Some people know from the beginning. The secret is not a real one. People observe your actions every day, in your routine, small details that show big things.

It is not hard to realize that you are present and focus on each moment of your life. And it is also never late.

Take your time to be present, and you will find out a lot of exciting people around you.

If you want more stories like this or different topics, let me know here!

Godofredo Rojas is a writer, chef, and constant learner from Peru. He studied in Le Cordon Bleu in Lima, Peru. He moved to New York in March 2011. You can find him on Facebook and Twitter.