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Abstract

media allows you to show people what you want them to see. You put on a smile, pose, and fabricate the you you wish you were, the life you wish you had.So why do we still compare our lives to the ones we see on social media?Answer: It’s human nature.Let me explain.In 1954, social psychologist Leon Festinger proposed the <a href="https://www.mindwise.org/blog/mental-health/social-media-social-comparisons-mental-health/">social-comparison theory</a>. This theory argues that we, as humans, have a desire to assess our progress by comparing ourselves to others. This way we can determine whether we are on the right track to being successful. So basically, we see someone else who we would unconsciously assess as more successful than ourselves, and this has the potential to immediately make us feel jealous, upset, or just disatisfied with our own lives. It is so easy to feel this way when you are only seeing the best parts of everyone’s lives on social media. You’re essentially comparing the worst parts of your life to someone else’s best.I know that I should not be comparing my life to those online profiles, but it’s not easy to stop. As we just discussed, it’s in our nature.So what steps can we take to change?1. Remind yourself that it’s not realWhen you catch yourself comparing to those on social media, remind yourself that there are things that we can’t see. This is someone’s highlight reel. Your highlight reel probably looks just as enticing.2. Use this feeling as motivationConsider why the comparison is making you feel bad about yourself. Is whatever you’re comparing something you really don’t like about yourself? Use this feeling

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as motivation to make a change.3. Focus on your goalsSure, you see everyone else doing amazing things but are those even things you want to do yourself?Focus on your goals and what you are ready for. Some people may be ready for bigger things earlier, and that’s okay. Life is not a race, there is no finish line.4. Celebrate your favourite qualitiesI know that I am kind, caring, smart, driven… I’m realizing that these are the qualities most important to me. List your favourite things about yourself and your life to remember why you are so amazing.5. Take a break from social mediaSometimes it just isn't enough to remind ourselves how amazing we are when we are seeing others be just as amazing. There is no shame in hitting that unfollow button or just deleting the app (either temporarily or permanently) to clear your mind and focus on building a better life for yourself.Now, I do realize that these were all things that most of us already knew but this knowledge tends to get forgotten when we’re struggling. It is alway nice to be reminded.Everyone’s journey is different.What really matters is whether we’re happy with ourselves as people and whether we have the clarity to see our individual goals and work towards those. Every one of us will be happiest doing different things, living different lives.Nobody is perfect. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone is comparing themselves to someone or something. Everyone has flaws.I know that I have the skills to accomplish whatever I set my mind to… once I decide what that is. I know that this will take time, and I have plenty of that.</article></body>

You Aren’t Falling Behind

Even if social media would suggest otherwise

I graduated high school six years ago. Even typing that is extremely hard.

Those were some great years. The years where nothing mattered besides going to class and spending time with friends. Sure, that time had its own share of trials, but I always felt like my life was on the right track. I had a plan that was the same as most of my friends’ and we were all accomplishing it together:

Get good grades
Go to college

Simple.

Now, as I scroll through social media, I can’t help but compare my life to those of my graduating classmates. Those that are getting their dream jobs, completing Master’s degrees, getting married, and having babies.

Seeing this, I can’t help but feel like I’m losing the race. I still live with my parents, am single, and genuinely have no idea where my career is headed. Sure, I have a bachelor’s degree, but do I even enjoy my field?

It is so easy to let these thoughts consume me. What am I even doing with my life? Will I ever find something I love? Someone I love?

Why can’t I be happy like everyone else?

But how do we know that everyone else is happy? Social media allows you to show people what you want them to see. You put on a smile, pose, and fabricate the you you wish you were, the life you wish you had.

So why do we still compare our lives to the ones we see on social media?

Answer: It’s human nature.

Let me explain.

In 1954, social psychologist Leon Festinger proposed the social-comparison theory. This theory argues that we, as humans, have a desire to assess our progress by comparing ourselves to others. This way we can determine whether we are on the right track to being successful. So basically, we see someone else who we would unconsciously assess as more successful than ourselves, and this has the potential to immediately make us feel jealous, upset, or just disatisfied with our own lives. It is so easy to feel this way when you are only seeing the best parts of everyone’s lives on social media. You’re essentially comparing the worst parts of your life to someone else’s best.

I know that I should not be comparing my life to those online profiles, but it’s not easy to stop. As we just discussed, it’s in our nature.

So what steps can we take to change?

1. Remind yourself that it’s not real

When you catch yourself comparing to those on social media, remind yourself that there are things that we can’t see. This is someone’s highlight reel. Your highlight reel probably looks just as enticing.

2. Use this feeling as motivation

Consider why the comparison is making you feel bad about yourself. Is whatever you’re comparing something you really don’t like about yourself? Use this feeling as motivation to make a change.

3. Focus on your goals

Sure, you see everyone else doing amazing things but are those even things you want to do yourself?

Focus on your goals and what you are ready for. Some people may be ready for bigger things earlier, and that’s okay. Life is not a race, there is no finish line.

4. Celebrate your favourite qualities

I know that I am kind, caring, smart, driven… I’m realizing that these are the qualities most important to me. List your favourite things about yourself and your life to remember why you are so amazing.

5. Take a break from social media

Sometimes it just isn't enough to remind ourselves how amazing we are when we are seeing others be just as amazing. There is no shame in hitting that unfollow button or just deleting the app (either temporarily or permanently) to clear your mind and focus on building a better life for yourself.

Now, I do realize that these were all things that most of us already knew but this knowledge tends to get forgotten when we’re struggling. It is alway nice to be reminded.

Everyone’s journey is different.

What really matters is whether we’re happy with ourselves as people and whether we have the clarity to see our individual goals and work towards those. Every one of us will be happiest doing different things, living different lives.

Nobody is perfect. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone is comparing themselves to someone or something. Everyone has flaws.

I know that I have the skills to accomplish whatever I set my mind to… once I decide what that is. I know that this will take time, and I have plenty of that.