Leadership

You Are Not The Boss; I Am

Make your choice, stay, play or leave

“He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.” — Aristotle

I am blessed with my mother’s good looks. I turned heads when I wanted to. At work, I went after a professional look that did not emphasize my assets. I wore natural makeup and gently tailored clothing. It’s incredible how many men thought I was a wuss because of my appearance. I made sure I was on point with my information. Working hard and being smart makes a difference when you are in a new position. Nevertheless, there are always those who judge a book by its cover.

The New Job

I was the new Director. The prior Director was killed in a car accident. The team hadn’t had a dedicated leader for more than a year. A team without leadership reverts to every person for themselves; they had become a pack of wolves.

In particular, the Facilities Manager (Joe) had done whatever he wanted. His team was running wild; following Joe, doing whatever they wanted in whatever order they wanted. The company had not taken him to task for his group’s behavior. He was the best they had to temporarily handle the dead Director’s job until they found someone. Some people don’t do well when given too much power, and Joe was one of those people.

When I came on board, I called a meeting with my new staff; Joe attempted to take over my meeting, he could not. I informed my team I would be evaluating projects over $100,000 and determining each project’s fate.

Do You Understand the Words That Are Coming Out of my Mouth?

Joe was running a project inappropriate for the goals and objectives I received as the new Director. When I calculated the return on investment (ROI), it failed. I asked him to bring the details regarding the project so we could discuss it. We reviewed the project one-on-one for ninety minutes. At the end of the discussion, I was not convinced. I asked him to shut the project down. He told me he would.

When I went out to the factory two days later, that project was still underway. Fool me once; shame on you. Fool me twice; shame on me. I told Joe to shut the task down a second time. Once again, he said he would. When I followed up, he had not terminated the job. Joe was obviously not familiar with the concept of consequences.

We had the same conversation a third time; I was not happy. “Listen,” I said, “Did you understand what I told you to do? I sent a shutdown email to the project manager this afternoon. It has ended.”

I cut in. “There’s no ‘well maybe’ in this. You tossed your badge at me. Don’t you have children? It looks like you’ll be telling your wife, hey honey, me, you and these kids aren’t going be living indoors or eating regular meals much longer. I decided to act like an arrogant ass to my new boss.”

Joe stood up and leaned over my desk. He took off his badge and arrogantly whipped it across my desk. It slid to a stop in front of me. “If you are willing to take over my project, you don’t need me. I’m going to walk out that door,” he said.

It was a cool and decisive move. I suspect he had pulled this stunt before. The sudden death of the former Director placed management in a situation where no one else was available to manage the group. The administration backed down and let him do what he wanted. Unfortunately for him, I wasn’t that management.

I sat up straighter in my chair. I slowly reached across the desk, picked his badge up, and put it in my left jacket pocket. “Pick your stuff up at your office, go to Human Resources to let them know you have quit,” I said. His eyes got suddenly wide. “Wait, a minute; what are you saying?”

“You tossed your badge on my desk. Paraphrasing your statement, you said, ‘If I can’t have it my way, I don’t want to be here.’ Well, you can’t have your way. So, goodbye,” I replied. “Well, maybe — “ he started to say.

I cut in. “There’s no ‘well maybe’ in this. You tossed your badge at me. Don’t you have children? It looks like you’ll be telling your wife, hey honey, me, you and these kids aren’t going be living indoors or eating regular meals much longer. I decided to act like an arrogant ass to my new boss.” He stood in silence, staring at me. “You resigned,” I said. “I would like a formal letter of resignation on my desk in the morning.”

Finally, Understanding

Joe left, but he did not stop in HR on his way out. He took only his coat with him. I notified Security he was no longer allowed in the building. I did not tell them why. When he came to work the following day, Security wouldn’t let him in. I did not let HR know he had quit.

His wife called the next day. She guaranteed he would be my staunchest supporter if I gave him his job back. I let him return to work. During our welcome back to work conversation, I told him to thank his wife. He looked relieved and said he would. When I told him there was only one boss, I’m confident he understood me.

Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books, two of which won the 2019 Reader’s Choice Gold Awards. Her bestselling business book, “Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends: How Do You Manage A Man Sitting With His Dick in His Hand?” was one of the winners. Her first book, “Never a $7 Whore” was the other.

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