You Are a Sum Total of Everything You Have Done and Will Do

Keep on adding every day’s experiences and create a life of fulfillment.

“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot — it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.” — Maya Angelou

Who are you? Who am I?

I know that might be a weak start to this article. A philosophical question in which no one is interested.

But still……

• Is it the title you are carrying at your workplace, or is it the value you add?
• Is it the money that comes to your bank account or the things you do with that money?
• Is it the number of toys you buy for your kid or the time you spend playing with them?
• Is it the gifts you buy for your partner or the time you have spent looking in the eyes of each other?
• Is it the latest car or the number of friends in that car?

My daily journals are a strong source of ideas and perspective to me. That helps me create meaningful thoughts on Medium.

I read the above quote in the book — “100 questions every person should ask themselves: A Journal of self-discovery” by C.B. Daniels.

The quote is in response to the below question:

“What experience or turn of events has made the biggest impact on who you are today?”

The book comes with 100 questions and a full blank page for each one. The first time I answered this question, I used that space. Later, when I started repeating the questions (after every 100-day cycle), I used a journal notebook.

I compare my past answers to this question, and I find one common element — there is no mention of anything related to money!

All the events that I have talked about were experiences.

It was a strange coincidence.

Let me highlight a few of my notes in response to the above question (“What experience or turn of events has made the biggest impact on who you are today?”):

• A shift from home town to a bigger city like Mumbai and then a move to outside India to London;
• Marriage;
• Having a kid;
• Starting a self-development platform — Be Better Bit-By-Bit;
• Drafting the first page of my first book;
• Running every day, running under the rains, running on the hills, running with friends, running in cold breezy winter;
• I started writing on Medium.

Such and similar entries appeared multiple times.

Remember, the gap between the two answers to this same question is 100 days. Generally, I’m not particularly eager to peak through the previous answers. But for this question, my mind asked me to do that.

And, thankfully, I did.

My perspective took a detour.

In no way, I want to use the money perspective as a cliche. You might be eager to have a lot of money in your purse; fine, go for it. We feel a lot of money can solve a lot of things for us. But, Time had told me again and again, it’s never the truth.

Money is just “One” — physical well-being, mental health, good relationships, and a confident “self” are other areas waiting for your attention.

A simple self-awareness question suddenly opened the flood gates of perspectives.

• It was not money that lured me to the city of Mumbai. In hindsight, it was all about experiences.
• It was not for earning pounds that made me move to the United Kingdom. It was all about the learning and the friends waiting for me there.
• It was not about the first salary credit, but the leather wallet I bought from the money.
• It’s not about booking a fancy and expensive vacation, but it’s about how many friends can join us on the trip.
• It’s not about an expensive meal in a five-star restaurant, but the experience, flavors, and hospitality we experience.
• Medium is not just about creating a name for ourselves or making money, but allowing the writer within to experience the real world.

“We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences — be they positive or negative — make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives. And, like a flowing river, those same experiences, and those yet to come, continue to influence and reshape the person we are, and the person we become. None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.” — B.J.Neblett, Author

Money and Success

Every time I get a paycheque, happiness lasts for a few minutes or maybe a few hours. But when I “experience” something with that money, i.e., when it buys me a vacation, a new book, or a chance to eat a meal with a friend, the happiness and the memories last real long.

“What brings me joy and fulfillment?”

That’s one of the questions which comes back to me every 30-days. I answer this question every month in my journal. And, I love to answer this question. I look forward to it.

Money indeed makes an entry a lot of times. But, 20 other entries accompany that answer.

And those 20 answers made me write this story.

Try this exercise:

• Write Ten things you are grateful for in life, or
• Ten things that bring you joy and fulfillment.

See if anything about money appears.

Workplace

It’s been 16-long years in the corporate world. It’s not the salary days or the promotion day, or the bonuses I remember — I remember the pat on my back, the late-night coffee with my colleagues, a lunch with my mentor, the advice I got 10-years back, or that off-site that brought the team together.

The memory is enriched not with money but with the experiences that I have gained through these years.

Self and Family

At our home, we don’t talk about how the money is growing in the basket; we talk about keeping the bond of love and happiness strong.

My daughter is not worried about how much I earn; it’s about whether I give her the time she needs. Yes, she is selfish at that time, and that means so much to me.

My parents do not feel happy because their kid is working hard and making a little money; they feel bad when I don’t call them often.

Earn experiences

When at the workplace — strive to learn and earn better conversation and experiences.

When at home — strive to experience more love and happiness.

Earn money. But earn more experience.

It’s not a cliche. It is what it is.

Nishith is a Marathoner, an avid reader, author, YouTuber, Podcaster, a diarist, a personal transformation coach, and creator of a unique self-transformation platform — “Be Better Bit-By-Bit.”

Nishith’s debut book — Be Better Bit-By-Bit, available on Amazon (Paperback and e-book). Listen to his podcasts Be Better Bit-By-Bit and 10 Bullets — 100 Words Book Summary.