Inspiration and Life
Yes, You Can Reduce Your Worries
How to reduce worry in your life
Is a worry-free life possible? Can you learn how not to stop worrying or worry less? You can control or eliminate it to a large extent, but how? Read on to find out!
Everyone experiences worry in life. Everyone. No one is exempt from it, as it is common to all mortal humans. A great deal of worry comes from concern about a future event or occurrence, real or imagined. You can worry about your health, money, job, spouse, children, relationships, and a thousand other things.
Since you cannot predict the future, uncertainty contrary to what you desire often leads to worrying. But the truth is, most of what we worry about never happens. Research indicates as much as 85% to 99% of things people worry about never occur. One study even shows, “The most common percentage of untrue worries per person was 100%.”
“I’ve got 99 problems, and 98 of them are completely made-up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.” Unknown
Worry is not anxiety or concern
Let’s clear up one thing before continuing. There is a big difference between worry and anxiety. The terms are not synonymous, although many use them interchangeably. The simplest explanation of their difference is:
- worry is temporary
- anxiety is persistent and longstanding
This article’s content centers around worry, not anxiety, and reflects the author’s thoughts on the subject. If you are experiencing anxiety, it is best to see a professional, They can do wonders to help you. Many psychiatrists (medical doctors), psychologists (PhDs and PsyDs), and licensed therapists can be found around the country.
But what about concern? How does it differ from worry? The easiest way to understand the difference between the two is to look at their meanings. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, their definitions are:
worry (noun) — mental distress or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated
concern (noun) — a matter that causes feelings of unease, uncertainty, or apprehension
An even better explanation comes from differencebetween.com, which states:
- Worry — “a futile effort that drains a person” and “does not lead the individual towards a solution”
- Concern — “leads an individual towards a solution”
Types of worry
Why do we worry so much when most of our concerns never happen? Let’s look at a few types of worry and some ideas of how you can deal with them.
Helpful “little worries” or concerns
The words “small worries” or “little worries” tend to be used interchangeably with the word concern. While a “worry” provides no solutions, a “concern” can lead you to create them.
For example, a “little worry” can be helpful when you are getting ready to give a speech, talk, or go into an interview. Such small worries, more accurately called concerns, can help you stay sharp and perform better.
How about when you are concerned about getting too much sun exposure that can lead to skin cancer? This can help you remember to use sunscreen.
What happens when you travel by air? Concern about missing a flight is a good thing as it will keep you on your toes to ensure you get to the airport early enough to catch your flight.
What about being concerned enough to stay alert when driving that two-ton potential deadly weapon called an automobile?
One last example of a “little worry” is when your spouse’s birthday is coming up, and you haven’t a clue what to buy or do. Your concerns can help you keep the date in mind and deliver a nice gift!
There are numerous ways these little worries/concerns can be helpful in our lives. They are always time-limited and often involve your emotions. Because of this, they sharpen your thoughts and actions. By the way, any emotional impact is always short-lived and temporary.
Unhelpful worry
As already noted, most worries for the vast majority of people never happen. In other words, most worry is a complete waste of time and energy. Yet, that realization is difficult to internalize completely.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” Seneca (4BC-65AD)
Looking back on the many decades of my life, I can honestly say the overwhelming majority of my worries were a complete waste of time. Even one second of that time, that most valuable precious resource in our life, should not be lost to worry. But the reality is everyone loses time worrying. Worry is part of the human condition, and to never worry at all certainly sounds impossible to me.
Two important aspects to recognize about worry are emotions and predictions of the future. Let’s look at each briefly.
Emotion-based worry
Emotions can be helpful or harmful when it comes to worrying. Positive emotions can reduce or eliminate worry, while negative emotions can create it. An extreme of either positive or negative emotions can be unhealthy.
The best way to deal with emotional worry is with time. Since emotions can last from a few seconds to a few days, they eventually subside. It is important to remember when your emotions become hijacked, give yourself time to calm down. Mindfulness exercises, such as breathing and meditation, can help. You can also use the advice of one of our founding fathers:
“When [emotional] count to ten before you speak. If very [emotional], count to one hundred.” Thomas Jefferson (1743–1826)
Any of these methods allow the emotions generated by the quick-acting amygdala to settle. Then control can return to your cerebellum. In case you are unfamiliar with the brain, the amygdala is known as the reptilian brain, while the cerebellum is the part of the brain where reasoning occurs.
Prediction-based worry
“You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.” Anonymous
A great deal of everyday worry is in the hope, anticipation, or expectation that something will happen in the future. This worry comes from an unwarranted concern about something beyond or out of your control. Because you can’t control it, you can’t predict what will happen. Since you can’t predict what will happen, why worry about it? We worry about it because we choose to! What other explanation can there be?
Face it, some of us want and possibly enjoy worrying. No, it doesn’t make sense, but when has everything in life ever made sense?
“I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.” Unknown
I highly recommend taking a minute to look at the following video. It has one of the most practical solutions to stop worrying I have ever found. It is very humorous as well!
Reducing worry in your life
A few simple tips to reduce worry include:
- Give your emotions time to resolve
- Accept the inevitable as inevitable
- Understand that when something is beyond your control, you cannot control it
- Accept you cannot change everything and shouldn’t attempt to do so
- Since you have no control over what you expect to happen, eliminate most expectations from your life
- Distract yourself rather than trying to suppress worry
- Put a limit on how much time you spend worrying
- Realize the wrong kind of worrying can be harmful to your health
- Always remember the things you worry about are extremely unlikely to occur
- Stop catastrophizing!
- Examine your worries
“Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.” Glenn Turner (1947-present)
Have you ever examined your worries? Since they can occupy an important part of your life, they are worth looking at more closely. Take some time to do a little introspection, and your reward will be tremendous.
It is incredibly beneficial to identify and name your worries. Naming them brings them to the surface, exposing them to the light of day, stripping them of their power.
Think about what causes you to worry. Most of us worry about health, money, relationships, career, acceptance, education, flying, public speaking, the future, and numerous other things.
Have you ever taken the time to write them down? It can be invaluable to journal them or write them in a “worry notebook.” By naming and writing them down, they lose much if not all of their power over you. Try it and enjoy the benefits of less worry!
“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” Winston Churchill (1874–1965)
Final thoughts
By accepting worry for what it is, worry, you can view it differently. Develop your ability to examine your worries, and start taming them. Begin using a “worry notebook” immediately so you can benefit from it.
And lastly, watch the video at the link above whenever you get too worried and need a good laugh! If Bob Newhart doesn’t convince you that worry is a waste of time and life, no one can!
Take to heart the words of a very wise man, and let them change your life:
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened” Winston Churchill (1874–1965)
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Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION
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