Yes, Tim Denning – I’ve Had My Face Ripped Off!
But was it really necessary?
If you haven’t had your face ripped off then you’re not even trying – Tim Denning
Like many on Medium, I’ve been consuming Tim Denning’s writing for some time. I’ve become accustomed to his blunt-talking style and attitude towards issues including 9–5 employment, building a business and growing wealth.
He’s brutally honest and successful, so I do heed most of what he writes. Some of his words quietly resonate, and some of them occasionally grates me.
A Shocking E-mail
When I recently opened an Unfiltered by Tim Denning email, I was expecting one of my usual reactions. Nothing too extreme to be felt here. Until I read:
You’re supposed to have bad investments, start side hustles that fail, and lose your life savings on some random business.
…Get this in your head so you don’t end up dead: get your face ripped off!
Tim Denning
Losing money via side hustles, business, and investments was being compared to having your face literally torn away!
I’ve Had My Face Ripped Off!
I immediately felt sick at the memory of when it happened to me.
The Great Recession
I often refer to being a victim of the 2008 recession. I’m cagey about using the word victim, the definition of which is:
A person who has suffered the effects of violence or illness or bad luck.
I lost shed loads of money, a business, a property portfolio and the one-million-pounds family home.
If I took calculated risks to get these things, was losing them really just bad luck? Or did I just tip the balance of risk too far, fall on my face, and had it (as Tim suggests) ripped off?
Was I a Victim?
Or was I a student? A student being taught invaluable life and business lessons. Whilst Tim’s words shook me at the violent portrayal of failure, I also understood what he was trying to convey as he also went on to say:
Losing money is the education you need to make more money over the next 5 years.
He firmly believes people need to lose money and fail to then go on and achieve sustainable success.
I am challenging his theory.
Tested to the Extreme
This type of failure is an extreme test of resilience, values, and character. Certainly, I was challenged to my core, and it very nearly broke me. Having my face ripped off left me in despair, ashamed and in a state of bewilderment.
How the hell did this happen to me?
Why did this happen to me?
I didn’t deserve this to happen to me!
Questions and Answers
After years of soul searching, I started seeking out the answers to my woe-is-me questions. Truthfully it was at least 5 years before I stopped berating myself and started the journey towards learning and understanding.
For a time, I sought answers from books and personal development gurus. I then started working with mindset and business coaches. Eventually, I was more compassionate towards myself. I could even see the positives that had come from these events.
I recognised that I’d been caught up in a swirl of greed and getting rich quickly! Particularly within the property market where prices were doubling at record speed. Many of us became overnight property ‘experts’ fuelled by the banks throwing hundreds of thousands at us with nothing more than a phone call and a signature.
It was insane!
At the time I kept thinking the market would eventually plateau.
It didn’t.
It crashed!
The Downside of This Experience
Whilst I’ve searched for the learning and the upside to what I went through, some downsides persisted. Two are worth highlighting as they restricted my recovery and quelled my ambitions for some time.
- Becoming much too risk-averse.
- Suffering from an extreme fear of failure.
These two combined left me paralysed, unable to take action to rebuild what I’d lost.
The Lessons
There were many lessons worth sharing within this most humbling and humiliating life experience. Now I see the importance of the following:
- Business due diligence.
- Balancing risk against return.
- Not over-borrowing.
- Validating a business idea before ploughing money and time into it.
- Not putting all your eggs into one basket.
- Not being a sheep! When others run towards something, perhaps it’s time to stop, take stock and not jump in too. This was true in the 2008 recession and during previous events e.g. when the dotcom bubble burst.
- Investing in what you know and have expert knowledge in.
- Not falling for Shiny Objects.
- Getting an experienced mentor/coach.
- Trusting your gut feelings.
- Knowing when something really is too good to be true.
- Hard work! (Sorry, not sorry).
The List of Important Lessons is Not Exhaustive.
Having my face ripped off was definitely the worst experience of my life. I acknowledge it was also one of the most educational.
I’ve since devoted my life to preventing others from having their faces ripped off. Whilst I agree with Tim on some level, I don’t believe it’s necessary to suffer quite so much on the rocky road to success.
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