Yes! Rape Fantasies Are Real

Summary

The website content discusses the prevalence and normality of rape fantasies among individuals, emphasizing that having such fantasies does not equate to being a rapist or having psychotic tendencies, and highlights the importance of understanding and managing these fantasies within the context of consensual role-playing and self-control.

Abstract

The article titled "Yes! Rape Fantasies Are Real" addresses the common yet controversial topic of rape fantasies, revealing that a significant percentage of women, ranging from 31% to 58%, have fantasized about rough, non-consensual sex despite its contradictory nature to the traumatic reality of sexual assault. The piece, inspired by the book "Absolve Me" by Morgaine Cameron, delves into the psychological aspect of such fantasies, categorizing them under normal human behavior and differentiating them from actual violent or criminal intentions. The author stresses that individuals with these fantasies are not inherently abnormal or immoral, and suggests that those struggling with guilt or acceptance should consider professional help from sex therapists or sexologists. The article also touches on the BDSM community's perspective, where consensual role-playing, known as "Ravishment," is practiced, and emphasizes the crucial role of self-control in maintaining the boundary between fantasy and harmful action.

Opinions

The author initially found the concept of rape fantasies unbelievable and sacrilegious, particularly when encountered in the context of a priest's character in the novel "Absolve Me."
Despite initial shock, the author acknowledges the enlightening aspect of the novel for addressing an "underrated topic" and providing insight into human sexual behavior.
The article suggests that rape fantasies are a common aspect of human psychology, referencing expert opinions from the book's character, Liza, a sex therapist.
There is a clear distinction made between having rape fantasies and being a rapist or having a disregard for consent in real-life situations.
The article posits that feeling guilty about such fantasies is natural but unnecessary, and it encourages individuals to explore their fantasies in a safe and consensual manner, potentially with professional guidance if needed.
The BDSM community's practice of "Ravishment" is mentioned as a form of consensual role-playing that should not be confused with actual non-consensual acts or the desire to inflict pain without consent.

Do you feel guilty for having rape fantasies?

Over the years, the crime of rape has become more infamous than ever. Rapists are jailed, punished and on rare cases — some are freed. On the contrary, it all comes down to self-control, not just for men — women too.

To be honest, I never knew people had rape fantasies until I read the harlequin book “Absolve Me” by Morgaine Cameron; a fictional erotic romance novel that centers on the BDSM liaison between a priest and a sex therapist.

Book cover of Absolve Me by Morgaine Cameron from Carina Press

I flipped through the pages of the book with my zeal at point hundred— I was intrigued by reading a forbidden love erotica. “Absolve Me” had me focused like my life depended on it; Imagine a celibate priest seeking advice from a profound sex therapist. The book — not only shocked me, but also stirred up my curiosity just after reading this line:

“But I had a dream, a dream I woke up from sweating and shaking and with my cock as hard as I’d ever been. It was bad. I…fucked a woman who didn’t want it, who told me to stop. But I didn’t. I raped her. And it got me off. God above — who does that?” His voice rose, and Liza could hear the panic he suffered.

Now, I found this unbelievable and sacrilegious — not because he was a priest who was carried away by lustful thoughts and vain pleasures of the flesh, but because of how vile his wet dream was — sex without consent. I indeed thought the author was crazy. But still, my nerves bubbled with unanswered questions as I, myself began to have these crazy fantasies as well; my hair being pulled and the lewd act of screaming and begging for help all in the name of sexual fantasies.

Although, as I kept reading— Liza, the sex therapist made mention of how it falls under the human behavioral system. In her words:

“Rape fantasies are among the most common fantasies people have — women and men. Overpowering someone and taking what you want, allowing yourself to be overpowered — it’s classic Psych 101. It doesn’t mean you’re a rapist, or that you only see women as sex objects. I promise. You aren’t a bad person or sexually abnormal.”

I had never read anything like it before, so I felt in-depth gratitude for the author for enlightening her readers on such an underrated topic.

Here are some questions I asked myself:

Why rape fantasies?

As traumatizing as having sex against one’s will is, It’s incredibly surprising how sources have shown that 31% to 58% of women have propensities of longing for rough sex in the form of an act of rape. How contradictory!

People who have rape fantasies may or may not be into kinky sex. The BDSM community identify this as a role play called “Ravishment”; but it seems likes the misinterpretation of BDSM — craving pain, as well as inflicting pain on others without having a core reason has most likely been the reason many people are scared to admit.

Are you normal?

Yes, you are normal. You are not a rapist as a man, neither are you psychotic as a woman. It is completely okay to have these type of fantasies — everyone has preferences; it’s alright to have them. What’s bad is having your fantasy cross the line; self-control is everything after all.

In addition, feeling guilty is natural — but you shouldn’t. Trying new things may be a way of soothing guilt; light bondage with the comfort of a trusted partner should be fine for starters. However, if you still have problems accepting, or exploring is probably way out of your league; meeting a sex therapist or sexologist will probably be the best option.