Yes I am a Dog Mom!

“He’s a funny little guy” somebody said about Chester when he was prancing around in a dog park. I received that, to my surprise, with mixed feelings. This may have been the comment that defined me internally as Dog Mom. As much as I could see what they referred to because he is gracious and nonchalant in his actions, the comment also felt disrespectful to me.

How is this? Why was I having these feelings? It was not until I relayed this event and my internal reaction to a fellow dog mom that she confirmed, “Of course you should be a little upset!, that’s like someone saying that your son is a funny little guy!”.

Now that made sense. I feel Chester as my son, not as a pet, a toy or a circus animal, which is meant to be funny and entertaining to others.

Wow.

This identity didn’t happen overnight. Having had a rough time being in the receiving end of motherhood, (i.e. my childhood onwards) this maternal feeling was not something I was familiar with or wanted to generate in myself. Clearly I have no kids or desire to birth humans.

When I first got him I was quite skeptical of how close we would ever be, and was not aiming for that bond. I got him mostly because I wanted a companion. And the cuteness, I won’t lie. I wouldn’t have picked up just any dog. I wanted one that showed me the beauty of the world in his face everyday. That was about it.

Oh and I wanted to get a very young doggie so that I could train him to be a good companion for all the things I like to do. A previous experiment with an older shelter dog who lasted only two weeks in my house showed me the importance of this. It was rough returning that dog (Mia was her name, let’s honor her) to the shelter- I did feel like a failure and shed tears. Later on she got adopted by a family who was a better fit, so all good for her.

My learning was I would have to invest money, time and energy to get the companion I was longing for. It would be a fair trade.

But it was going to be so much more.

Displaying the avocado belly he used to have as a baby

I did not expect any of the following:

Training my doggie would develop key skills in myself including discipline, patience, setting habits and routines. I was weaker in all these than I thought, and discovered how you can push yourself to being the best version of yourself when you simply will not accept failing in a task. Our capacity is really endless.
Having gone through this exercise successfully gives you a newly found pride and self confidence.
I faced many fears only to realize reality was not to be feared at all. This is always good for our character and confidence in the world. For example, I feared my doggie would pee all over the carpet and it would be so hard to potty train him — it was not. I followed the recommendations of a fantastic (and free) online academy and he’s had no more than 3 accidents in a year and a half. I am confident to take him to other people’s homes and into stores and I know he will not go potty in inappropriate places. Additionally, I feared he would wake me up at night crying or early in the morning for the first several months. Again, with the help of the McCann Dog training academy, this happened only twice.

Chester goes everywhere with me and behaves appropriately

You will feel a deep level of responsibility for this creature’s well being that will also be new. I had never felt so worried about any other living thing than when something happened to him. He is so helpless, depending only on me in this human society. He cannot clearly communicate if he has pain, or if he wants something specific -I had to learn his cues. He will never be in contact with a particular thing unless I facilitate it, because, unlike children, he will never leave the house and live his own life. He’s all on me for his entire life.
Going through this training process with both sides learning together, creates a crazy strong bond. We both knew each other when we behaved sloppy and have seen how we have both risen to the challenges and now behave to each other’s expectations with minimal deviations. I am proud of how I have gotten to understand his communication and also proud of the progress he has made to make this work. It’s been a unique experience for both of us.

My friend circle grew and in a new direction. It’s always nice to chat to people in the dog park, plus all the non dog parents who approach us on the street wanting to praise him or pet him. This doggie point of connection has allowed me to meet people of different nationalities, age groups and lifestyles who I probably wouldn’t have come across otherwise. Fellow dog parents have become great friends. Once Chester hits it off playing with a doggie at the dog park, us parents start setting up playdates for them. We want them to enjoy playing together and we appreciate making new friends for ourselves too! Many times we will meet without the babies too.

Nap time. Need I say more?

Maternal feelings slowly arose organically. At first I was completely uncomfortable with being called a dog mom. I would say I was his caregiver or something like that. Then, organically over time, I would correct people to “dog mommy” because it felt less serious, and now I am proud to title my article “Yes I am a Dog Mom!”

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