Yes, Guys Like Eye Candy

But these five things will have them shopping for a ring

Gentlemen, do you have to ogle every pretty thing that walks by?

Uh, ya!?

And ladies, don’t you want to smash them in the face because it makes you feel like you’re competing to keep their attention?

Oh, ya…

I don’t think there’s a woman on the planet that hasn’t experienced their man gawking or flirting with another woman in their presence.

It can suck— but please don’t let it ruin your day.

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” — Zen Shin

I’m an abuse survivor, and because I’ve dealt with infidelity and divorce more than once, I’ve done mega research on “how men think.”

Not out of desperation or bitterness, but out of curiosity.

I wanted to understand what makes the opposite sex behave so differently. Why was I attracting the wrong guys? The best advice I came across was from other men, so I linked my favourite site above for you.

What I discovered about men was enlightening but even more critical; it led me down an intriguing path of self-discovery.

First and foremost, I’m not suggesting you change yourself to attract (or keep) a man. Nope. The opposite is true.

It’s a much better idea to have a love affair with yourself before seeking a partner. Know who you are at your core and what you want out of life. Get comfortable in your skin and understand what you bring to the table.

Know your boundaries.

Then determine what you’re looking for in a partner, what you need in a partner. From my experience, I’d say it’s critical to have a good handle on what you won’t tolerate in your relationship as well.

Assuming you have that stuff sorted out, let’s have a peek at what’s irresistible about you in a man’s eyes. Not what turns their heads so easily, but what matters — the whole package.

What is it about you that makes him want to shop at Tiffany’s and take you home to momma?

These five tidbits are in no particular order, and the list isn’t all-inclusive, but they surfaced consistently in my research.

1. Your Confidence

I’m not talking about being arrogant or cocky; I’m referring to confidence in who you are as a person. A woman who is sure about who she is and where she’s going in life is super attractive to a guy.

Being confident means not compromising yourself to fit their idea of the “perfect woman.” Just be you, and do you.

Guys commit to confident women because they take responsibility for their happiness. Women who aren’t needy don’t make them feel pinned down. Guys will fiercely protect their independence, so that same trait in a woman means they’ve found a dependable partner.

Remember that both people need the freedom to be themselves, pursue their own goals, and feel respected.

“The most beautiful thing a woman can wear is her confidence.” — Unknown

2. Your Trust

This is a big one that’s tough for some, especially if you’ve been mistreated in previous relationships.

Both men and women expect to be trusted in a relationship but “not trusting” and keeping tabs on their every move is incredibly suffocating for men. They’ll pull away if forced to pick between their lives and you.

Again, some people don’t deserve your trust, but for your guy to commit, he’s got to know you trust him.

This ties back to #1 in a big way. If you’re confident and living your own life, you won’t feel like you need a tracking device tucked up under the wheel well of his car.

Trust and respect make a man feel loved. If you want him to stick around, give him his space.

“Loving someone is giving them the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to.” — Julianne Moore

3. Control Over Your Emotions

Don’t confuse this with not showing your emotions. We are emotional beings, after all, and we should embrace that.

What I’m referring to is stability.

Yes, we “feel” first and get logical second. So take a deep breath, and give yourself time to accept the emotion you’re feeling in a non-judgemental way.

Getting your “crazy on” scares the shit out of men.

Harnessing that power and talking through “how you feel” as calmly as possible allows him to drop his guard and listen. He needs to feel emotionally safe around you to fall in love.

He wants to know how you feel but letting your emotions run you and lashing out at him irrationally is a deal-breaker.

“Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.” — Morgan Freeman

4. Your Ability to Listen

Most people should get better at this, but it’s a tough one for lots of us. I know I’m guilty of this, mostly when I’m anxious or tired.

Our minds are busy, and as thoughts pop in or a memory is triggered, we can’t wait for the chance to chime in and share.

That leads to talking over one another, and it can have quite a negative effect.

Active listening can be hard when you’re distracted by other thoughts or super excited about your turn to speak. Without meaning to, your passion for the conversation can lead to him feeling unheard and undervalued.

Practice staying quiet and looking directly into his eyes until he finishes his sentence or thought. It shows respect and makes him feel loved.

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer.” — Ed Cunningham

5. Your Kindness

How you treat others is something every guy tunes into.

He instinctively knows that you'll treat him the same way if you are caring and empathetic towards others.

Finding a kindhearted woman means she’ll be more cooperative, she’ll be open to compromise, and have empathy in raising children.

Your kindness will probably shine through on your first date by merely being considerate, arriving on time and being polite to your restaurant server.

“Never underestimate the power of a kind woman. Kindness is a choice that comes from incredible strength.” — Unknown

The Wrap Up

I’ve always thought that God has quite a sense of humour, especially when it comes to men and women getting along.

We have different needs and perspectives on things, but it’s essential to take the time to understand one another.

A stable, happy relationship is worth working on. So dig in, and don’t leave it to chance. You’ll be surprised how much easier things get when you understand each other instead of pointing fingers.

Here are18 things guys wish you knew!

This story is fun and sheds more light on relationships…

I’m Liz, the self-empowered, red wine & coffee lovin’, personal growth fanatic behind this article. I’ve stopped shrinking into places I’ve outgrown, and I’m a fan of straight talk and practical solutions. I’m here to Empower, Educate and Entertain — founder/editor of The Best Version.