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1401

Abstract

Leave me out of your reasons as to why you need a new one. We both know what it is you really need?</p><p id="fdb1">Yep. Nope.</p><p id="1e26">No to an Insignia 50-inch LED 4K T, a Retro Nintendo Console, and another pair of Ray-Bans — ’cause you’re so damn stupid and forgot them at Equinox. What fool wears sunglasses inside? You ain’t Ryan Gosling!

Yep. Nope.</p><p id="f0c9">No and no to a Sony Alpha a7R V Mirrorless Camera when you have several. Like what you need six cameras for when you don’t even use one of them unless I hound you to take one out on the holidays?</p><p id="42ac">Yep. Nope.</p><p id="dca6">No to a $3,800 (not including airfare) trip to trek Mount Kilimanjaro. not when I paid$ 6995 for you to hike only three of the 23 days on the John Muir trail.</p><p id="1d96">Yep. Nope.

No to Altimeter Watch and all the other B.S. stuff you think you need, to go backpacking which you don’t really do anyways.</p><p id="18f6">Obvy, no to a $5,500 for a Backpack Backpacking ten,$ 1,667.59 for a 1200 down sleeping back/ You ain’t no Polar Explorer, you complain when it’s 55 outside.</p><p id="be1c">Yep. Nope.

No to the $5,079 Kaji Chef knife set, ’cause you think you can cook after burning some lamb skewers on the Barbie last summer in the Hamptons.</p><p id="0e95">Definitely no to that$ 600 sous vide machine — last time you used one, you set off the fire al

Options

arm and you spent hours on YouTube trying to figure out how to turn the damn thing off.</p><p id="684f">Yep. Nope.</p><p id="f9a9">No National Geographic Wine Club. No Napa Valley wine tour. Maybe, figure out the difference between a Malbec and a Chianti, and maybe, maybe, I’ll reconsider.</p><p id="87fd">No weekend to see U2 in Vegas.</p><p id="4747">Yep. Nope.</p><p id="3d84">So where does this leave you for your big celebration of 68 years of wanna-be, wanna-do, wanna-have-it-all shenanigans?</p><p id="7eb3">Maybe a bar-hopping trip on Temple Street in Dublin?</p><p id="d5b2">Yep. Nope.</p><p id="21e2">Yep. What I did get you is under the pillow.</p><p id="7416"><b>Surprise! You’ve been served!</b></p><div id="d2ab" class="link-block"> <a href="https://marycappelli.medium.com/subscribe"> <div> <div> <h2>Get an email whenever Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD publishes.</h2> <div><h3>Get an email whenever Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD publishes. By signing up, you will create a Medium account if you don't…</h3></div> <div><p>marycappelli.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Gm0EGRw9VMFqeljg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Yep, Nope.

A birthday poem

No, I will not get you that $15,000 red Porsche eBike you will never use (Are you crazy?!??) The one that will sit in the garage after a few desperate spins around the block, the one that will sit next to the other Stumpjumper mountain bike You don’t ride.

Yep. Nope.

Not getting you that $799 Barista Espresso Machine ’cause you think you’ll stop going to Starbucks on Madison and getting a double-shot Oatmeal Latte when we all know you go there to see the busty barrister, wanna-be Broadway star Tammy from Alabama.

Yep. Nope.

No to dropping $21,199.00 for a 2024 Jet Ski when you have the 2023 model the same damn thing but in a different color. What on earth are you thinking? I don’t want your old jet ski. I hate jet skiing! Leave me out of your reasons as to why you need a new one. We both know what it is you really need?

Yep. Nope.

No to an Insignia 50-inch LED 4K T, a Retro Nintendo Console, and another pair of Ray-Bans — ’cause you’re so damn stupid and forgot them at Equinox. What fool wears sunglasses inside? You ain’t Ryan Gosling! Yep. Nope.

No and no to a Sony Alpha a7R V Mirrorless Camera when you have several. Like what you need six cameras for when you don’t even use one of them unless I hound you to take one out on the holidays?

Yep. Nope.

No to a $3,800 (not including airfare) trip to trek Mount Kilimanjaro. not when I paid $6995 for you to hike only three of the 23 days on the John Muir trail.

Yep. Nope. No to Altimeter Watch and all the other B.S. stuff you think you need, to go backpacking which you don’t really do anyways.

Obvy, no to a $5,500 for a Backpack Backpacking ten, $1,667.59 for a 1200 down sleeping back/ You ain’t no Polar Explorer, you complain when it’s 55 outside.

Yep. Nope. No to the $5,079 Kaji Chef knife set, ’cause you think you can cook after burning some lamb skewers on the Barbie last summer in the Hamptons.

Definitely no to that $600 sous vide machine — last time you used one, you set off the fire alarm and you spent hours on YouTube trying to figure out how to turn the damn thing off.

Yep. Nope.

No National Geographic Wine Club. No Napa Valley wine tour. Maybe, figure out the difference between a Malbec and a Chianti, and maybe, maybe, I’ll reconsider.

No weekend to see U2 in Vegas.

Yep. Nope.

So where does this leave you for your big celebration of 68 years of wanna-be, wanna-do, wanna-have-it-all shenanigans?

Maybe a bar-hopping trip on Temple Street in Dublin?

Yep. Nope.

Yep. What I did get you is under the pillow.

Surprise! You’ve been served!

Get an email whenever Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD publishes.

Get an email whenever Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD publishes. By signing up, you will create a Medium account if you don't…

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